Your baby’s first home: Why now is the time to start loving your body ?

4 mantras to turn negative self-talk into acceptance and love for your body.

Your baby’s first home: Why now is the time to start loving your body ?

Congratulations on making the life-changing decision to become a mother!

You are about to embark on your journey toward conception, which may be smooth and predictable or challenging and baffling. Most likely it will be something in between.

But no matter how your path toward conception unfolds, one of the most important things for you to focus on right now (other than the making of your baby) is nurturing and strengthening the relationship you have with yourself and your body.

As a mother of four, an eating disorder survivor turned thriver and the author of The Self-Care Solution, I am intimately familiar with the battleground on which so many women live when it comes to their relationship with their body. This complicated relationship is formed over a lifetime, involving factors such as:


  • Messages from the media and other societal influences/influencers
  • Messages you receive during your formative and teen years from parents, other trusted adults and peers
  • The development of your self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-love, which the above-mentioned factors can affect

Unfortunately, research confirms that most women are not feeling the love for their bodies. Eighty percent of women don’t like how they look and 50 to 70% of normal-weight women want to be thinner. Many women harbor deep shame about their bodies, which can prompt food- and exercise-related compulsions and addictions.

But what does all this body dissatisfaction talk have to do with you having a baby? Well, a lot.

Assess your level of body satisfaction honestly and without shame.

Hopefully you are in the small percentage of women who love and accept your body, and are excited to embrace the many changes that will occur as your body prepares to conceive, carry, give birth to and possibly breastfeed your baby. But if you are like most women, your relationship with your body is much more complicated. Wherever you fall on the body satisfaction continuum, your feelings about your body are important to your physical and mental health throughout conception and pregnancy. Regardless of whether you’re pregnant, research shows that body image plays a major role in a woman’s level of happiness and overall life satisfaction. Research also shows that body image issues can lead to or be the result of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and relationship issues.

Needless to say, body image concerns cannot be ignored.

When you embark on your journey to becoming a mother, you will be best served to start from a place of strength and self-worth so that you can maintain that confidence throughout the trials and tribulations you will inevitably face.

Issues with self-esteem and body image will not disappear on your path to and throughout motherhood.

In fact, the high demands of motherhood today can exacerbate them.

If you feel that you and your body are not on the best of terms, the first step is to address this issue honestly and without shame. The following questions will help you assess your level of body satisfaction and bring awareness to the powerful connections between your mind, body and emotions:

  • How do you feel when you think about your body, or more specifically, when you look at in the mirror?
  • What do you say to yourself about your body? How often do you have these body-related conversations in your head?
  • Do you habitually look for “defects” in your body and criticize yourself for them?
  • Or do you look at yourself with love, acceptance and gratitude? (“Okay, body, you are looking pretty good today. I’m grateful that you are healthy and that you allow me to feel good! I’m grateful that you are able to do most of what I ask you to do. I am going to be good to you because you are good to me. We’re in this together!”)
  • How often do you check yourself in the mirror?
  • How often do you weigh yourself?
  • What happens to your mood when you see the number on the scale?
  • Are you able to refrain from weighing yourself for a day? A week? A month? What feelings come up when you think about or try to let go of this habit?
  • How would you describe your relationship with food? With exercise?

Create a strong, healthy, love-infused first home for your child.

As a mother-to-be who wishes to share her happiness with her child, it’s essential for you to address any body image concerns you might have.

Upon conception, your body becomes your child’s first home—the foundation where your baby develops and from which he or she moves to the outside world. Make sure to infuse this home with love, kindness and respect.

The mantras below will help you strengthen your mind-body relationship in order to create a nurturing first “home” for the child you will conceive.

  • I will become more in tune to how my mind and body are connected (when I am sad, bored, lonely, or worried I want to eat French fries).
  • I will listen to and respect my body’s signals (eat when I am hungry, stop when I am full).
  • I will be conscious of my self-talk, and catch myself when I am overly critical or harsh in how I view or talk to myself about my body.
  • I will talk to my partner and friends about my body image concerns or seek professional help if I need to dig deeper into self-esteem issues.
  • I will fill my body with nutrient-rich foods and plenty of water, and get adequate rest so I create a body that is healthy and strong for conception.
  • I will exercise my body in order to keep my organs, muscles and bones healthy, and to release endorphins to help me manage stress and feel more energetic and joyful.
  • I will trust myself and my body as I prepare to undergo major physical, hormonal and emotional changes upon conception.
  • I will find gratitude for my body, for all that is does for me and for its ability to conceive a child.
  • If you are struggling with conception, please add this mantra: I will not shame myself or degrade my body for not doing what I am asking it to do right now. I will be patient and loving with my body, and continue to believe in its ability to conceive a child.
  • I will love, care for and accept myself and my body every day.

Wishing you healthy doses of self-love and happiness as you begin your path to conception! And next time you look in the mirror and start to say something unkind to yourself about your body, please replace that message with this one:

It is nothing short of amazing that my body is capable of growing another human being. I will embrace my beautiful body! It is about to do something truly miraculous!

Join Motherly

This is how we’re defining success this school year

Hint: It's not related to grades.

In the ever-moving lives of parents and children, opportunities to slow down and reflect on priorities can be hard to come by. But a new school year scheduled to begin in the midst of a global pandemic offers the chance to reflect on how we should all think about measures of success. For both parents and kids, that may mean putting a fresh emphasis on optimism, creativity and curiosity.

Throughout recent decades, "school success" became entangled with "academic achievement," with cases of anxiety among school children dramatically increasing in the past few generations. Then, almost overnight, the American school system was turned on its head in the spring of 2020. As we look ahead to a new school year that will look like no year past, more is being asked of teachers, students and parents, such as acclimating to distance learning, collaborating with peers from afar and aiming to maintain consistency with schooling amidst general instability due to COVID.

Despite the inherent challenges, there is also an overdue opportunity to redefine success during the school year by finding fresh ways to keep students and their parents involved in the learning process.

"I always encourage my son to try at least one difficult thing every school year," says Arushi Garg, parenting blogger and mom of a 4-year-old. "This challenges him but also allows me to remind him to be optimistic! Lots of things in life are hard, and it's important we learn to be positive during difficult times. Fostering a sense of optimism allows kids to push beyond what they thought possible, like biking without training wheels or reading above their grade level."

Here are a few mantras to keep in mind this school year:

Quality learning matters more than quantifying learning

After focusing on standardized measures of academic success for so long, the learning environment this next school year may involve more independent, remote learning. Some parents are considering this an exciting opportunity for their children to assume a bigger role in what they are learning—and parents are also getting on board by supporting their children's education with engaging, positive learning materials like Highlights Magazine.

As a working mom, Garg also appreciates that Highlights Magazine can help engage her son while she's also working. She says, "He sits next to me and solves puzzles in the magazine or practices his writing from the workbook."

Keep an open mind as "school" looks different

Whether children are of preschool age or in the midst of high school, "going to school" is bound to look different this year. Naturally, this may require some adjustment as kids become accustomed to new guidelines. Although many parents may wish to shelter our kids from challenges, others believe optimism can be fostered through adversity when everyone is committed to adapting to new experiences.

"Honestly, I am yet to figure out when I will be comfortable sending [my son] back [to school]," says Garg. In the meantime, she's helping her son remain connected with friends who also read Highlights Magazine by encouraging the kids to talk about what they are learning on video calls.

Follow children's cues about what interests them

For Garg, her biggest hope for this school year is that her son will create "success" for himself by embracing new learning possibilities with positivity.

"Encouraging my son to try new things has given him a chance to prove that he can do anything," she says. "He takes his previous success as an example now and feels he can fail multiple times before he succeeds."

There's no denying that this school year will be far from the norm. But, perhaps, we can create a new, better way of defining our children's success in school because of it.

This article was sponsored by Highlights. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Our Partners

It’s science: Vacations make your kids happy long after they’re over

Whether you're planning a quick trip to the lake or flying the fam to a resort, the results are the same: A happier, more connected family.

Whether you're looking for hotels or a rental home for a safe family getaway, or just punching in your credit card number to reserve a spot in a campground a couple of states over, the cost of vacation plans can make a mom wince. And while price is definitely something to consider when planning a family vacation, science suggests we should consider these trips—and their benefits—priceless.

Research indicates that family vacations are essential. They make our, kids (and us) happier and build bonds and memories.

Keep reading Show less

Mothers wanted the president to condemn white supremacy—he didn't

What you need to know about the first presidential debate and the 'Proud Boys'.


[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

For many American families, the impacts of systemic racism are a daily reality. This summer saw mothers and children go out and join Black Lives Matter protests in an effort to make the United States a safer place for Black children.


Individuals across the country stood up and condemned white supremacy in 2020 and wanted the sitting President of the United States to do that Tuesday night, during the first presidential debate.

But he didn't.

When Chris Wallace of Fox News, the debate moderator, asked President Trump to condemn white supremacy, to ask militia groups to stand down and not escalate violence in cities like Kenosha and Portland, the president stated he was willing to...but when Wallace said "Then do it, sir," the president's answer was far from a clear condemnation.

First, Trump asked for a specific group to condemn, rather than simply condemning white supremacy as a whole. When the others on stage offered "white supremacy" and "Proud Boys" as the name to condemn, the President picked Proud Boys. But a condemnation didn't come.

"Proud Boys, stand back and stand by," Trump said. "But I'll tell you what, somebody's gotta do something about Antifa and the left. This is not a right-wing problem. This is a left-wing problem."

This followed a previous exchange in which Wallace asked President Trump why he ended a racial sensitivity training program. Trump responded that the training was racist and was teaching people to "hate our country."

Keep reading Show less