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5 Ways to Ask for Help Postpartum

And who to ask for it.

5 Ways to Ask for Help Postpartum

As modern women, we’re almost trained to not ask for help. We want to show our bosses and coworkers we can handle whatever comes our way. We want our friends and family to see us as strong and independent. But, mama, when it comes to taking care of your little one, the phrase “it takes a village” was coined for a reason.

You just gave birth. The recovery pain is absurd, the sleep is nearly nonexistent and oh yeah, you’re also responsible for feeding, burping and changing around the clock. You deserve – and need – a little bit of help. Checking an item off your registry is one thing, but the people who love you most will want to go the extra mile… and you should let them.

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Here are five ways you can ask for help, and some pro tips on who to ask for it from.

1. Your partner. Of course your partner wants to help, but they might not know how or when. Have a conversation with your other half about what you hope they can help with once you get home. Maybe you decide to handle all the overnight feedings if your teammate pulls night shift diaper duty. Hydration is key when nursing, so asking that your partner to make sure you always have a glass of water handy is super helpful. Whatever is most important to you – make sure your partner knows, so they can feel useful and you can feel taken care of.

2. Parents and In-Laws. Here’s where you can ask for those big-ticket items. Would you like your mom to come stay for a few weeks after you bring your tiny one home? Ask if that’s something she is able to do. Are your in-laws bummed they’re on the other side of the country? Let them know they could be huge helpers by hiring a cleaning company to come by every few weeks. Don’t be afraid to let your parents know what you’d love to count on them for, and have your partner ask their parents if you feel uncomfortable.

3. Siblings, best friends. These are the people who will be around a lot in the weeks and months after your baby is born. Let them know ahead of time you will likely be asking for help with some household chores. Here’s a great tip I stole from a friend: print out a list of tasks you anticipate needing help with (watering plants, unloading dishwasher, taking the dog on a walk) and hang it on the fridge. Let everyone who comes over know where the list is – you’ll be surprised how many items get checked off!

4. Office mates, casual friends. They’re probably planning a small office baby shower or a pre-baby brunch. You might not be close enough to these friends or coworkers to feel comfortable asking for help at home, so think outside the box. Non-traditional gift cards are a huge lifesaver after baby is born. Instead of cards for Buy Buy Baby or Babies-r-Us, ask for meal delivery services. Blue Apron, Hello Fresh. Amazon cards are a great way to go, too, because everything you’ll need won’t just be for the baby (Can you say pee-proof underwear?! Yep. Amazon has those). Let the friend or coworkers you’re closest with know what would be the biggest help, and he or she can spread the word.

5. Everyone else. Get Over the Awkward. We know you want to be that one in a million mama who has it completely together from day one, but trust us: babies are overwhelming. Asking for and accepting help might feel a little awkward at first, but you’ll be thankful you did. When someone you love asks if he or she can pitch in, say yes – then pick a task that’s best for them and for your relationship.

In This Article

    14 Toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

    They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

    With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

    From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

    Wooden doll stroller

    Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

    Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

    $120

    Detective set

    Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

    This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

    $40

    Sand play set

    Plan Toys sand set

    Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

    $30

    Water play set

    Plan Toys water play set

    Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

    $100

    Mini golf set

    Plan Toys mini golf set

    Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

    $40

    Vintage scooter balance bike

    Janod retro scooter balance bike

    Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

    $121

    Wooden rocking pegasus

    plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

    Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.

    $100

    Croquet set

    Plan Toys croquet set

    The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.

    $45

    Wooden digital camera

    fathers factory wooden digital camera

    Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.

    $179

    Wooden bulldozer toy

    plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

    Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.

    $100

    Pull-along hippo

    janod toys pull along hippo toy

    There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

    $33

    Baby forest fox ride-on

    janod toys baby fox ride on

    Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

    $88

    Balance board

    Plan Toys balance board

    Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!

    $75

    Meadow ring toss game

    Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

    Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

    $30

    We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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    Sorry, you can’t meet our baby yet

    Thank you for understanding. ❤️

    In just over three weeks, we will become parents. From then on, our hearts will live outside of our bodies. We will finally understand what everyone tells you about bringing a child into the world.

    Lately, the range of emotions and hormones has left me feeling nothing short of my new favorite mom word, "hormotional." I'm sure that's normal though, and something most people start to feel as everything suddenly becomes real.

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    Happiest Baby: Baby sleep solutions designed by the experts

    Created by renowned pediatrician, baby sleep expert and (as some might say) lifesaver Dr. Harvey Karp, Happiest Baby has been helping new parents understand and nurture their infants for close to two decades. Building on the success of his celebrated books and video The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block he's developed groundbreaking, science-based product solutions that conquer a new parent's top stressor—exhaustion.

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    Codex Beauty: Exceptionally effective sustainable skin care

    Codex Beauty's line of sustainable plant-based skin care blends the science of plant biology with biotech innovations, to create clinically proven, state-of-the-art products for all skin types. They're all vegan, EWG and Leaping Bunny verified and created in collaboration with Herbal Scientist Tracy Ryan who uses concepts dating back to the 8th century leveraging plants like sea buckthorn and calendula flower. Not only are we totally crushing on the innovative formulas that are in the packaging but we're in love with the sustainable sugarcane-derived tubes as well.

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