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Dear husband, here’s what I wish you knew about my anxiety

Keep reminding me that I’m beautiful. That you love me. And that I’m the greatest mom I can be.

Dear husband, here’s what I wish you knew about my anxiety

It sneaks up on me when I least expect it.

On a beautiful day at the park, watching our son giggle as he careens down the slide. While we’re cooking dinner, sharing stories about another long day. Or even when I’m in the bath, “relaxing,” which I just can’t seem to do these days.


I know there’s no reason for it.

I know, logically, there’s no reason to feel so anxious. No reason to think that every outcome will be the worst of all possibilities. Yet there it is. The terrifying what if?

It’s like a punch to the gut. All the air is suddenly sucked out of my chest and panic fills every crevice in my body.

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It’s like falling into a deep void that has no end, the weight of infinite gravity pressing on my shoulders.

It’s like being held underwater, and no matter how hard I kick my legs I simply can’t break through the surface to reach the light.

I know you’re worried. You see me spinning out of control. On the verge of tears over the littlest thing. Overwhelmed by tasks or emotions I used to handle so easily. Afraid that my actions, my intentions, my whole being is no longer good enough.

I’m worried too.

Not just about why the baby hasn’t walked yet or how I’m going to get the dishes and cooking done after work. Not just about if we’re spending enough time together or whether I make you happy.

I’m worried about me.

About why I’m so worried. About when the worrying will stop, when the old me will reappear, the one who laughed and enjoyed life so easily.

I need you to keep helping me. Keep listening to me, even when you think my worries are unfounded. Because we both know the simple fact that I feel them makes them real.

Keep being patient and understanding.

Keep being positive. Don’t let my negativity darken your day, your hopes, or your mood.

Keep reminding me that I’m beautiful. That you love me. And that I’m the greatest mom I can be.

Know that you are not alone in tackling the monster that is my anxiety.

In the meantime, I will continue to remind myself that there is a bright side.

I will work on resisting the dark thoughts that are looped on repeat in my brain.

I will continue to breathe, and to remain calm even when all I want to do is scream as loud as I possibly can.

And whenever I feel those anxious tremors begin to burrow in, I will focus on the me I want to be.

In This Article

    These challenges from Nike PLAYlist are exactly what my child needs to stay active

    Plus a fall family bucket list to keep everyone moving all season long.

    While it's hard to name anything that the pandemic hasn't affected, one thing that is constantly on my mind is how to keep my family active despite spending more time indoors. Normally, this time of year would be spent at dance and gymnastics lessons, meeting up with friends for games and field trips, and long afternoon playdates where we can all let off a little steam. Instead, we find ourselves inside more often than ever before—and facing down a long winter of a lot more of the same.

    I started to search for an outlet that would get my girls moving safely while we social distance, but at first I didn't find a lot of solutions. Online videos either weren't terribly engaging for my active kids, or the messaging wasn't as positive around the power of movement as I would like. Then I found the Nike PLAYlist.

    I always knew that Nike could get me moving, but I was so impressed to discover this simple resource for parents. PLAYlist is an episodic sports show on YouTube that's made for kids and designed to teach them the power of expressing themselves through movement. The enthusiastic kid hosts immediately captured my daughter's attention, and I love how the physical activity is organically incorporated in fun activities without ever being specifically called out as anything other than play. For example, this segment where the kids turn yoga into a game of Paper Scissors Rock? Totally genius. The challenges from #TheReplays even get my husband and me moving more when our daughter turns it into a friendly family competition. (Plus, I love the play-inspired sportswear made just for kids!)

    My daughter loves the simple Shake Ups at the beginning of the episode and is usually hopping off the couch to jump, dance and play within seconds. One of her favorites is this Sock Flinger Shake Up activity from the Nike PLAYlist that's easy for me to get in on too. Even after we've put away the tablet, the show inspires her to create her own challenges throughout the day.

    The best part? The episodes are all under 5 minutes, so they're easy to sprinkle throughout the day whenever we need to work out some wiggles (without adding a lot of screen time to our schedule).

    Whether you're looking for simple alternatives to P.E. and sports or simply need fun ways to help your child burn off energy after a day of socially distanced school, Nike's PLAYlist is a fun, kid-friendly way to get everyone moving.

    Need more movement inspiration for fall? Here are 5 ways my family is getting up and getting active this season:

    1. Go apple picking.

    Truly, it doesn't really feel like fall until we've picked our first apple. (Or had our first bite of apple cider donut!) Need to burn off that extra cinnamon-sugar energy? Declare a quick relay race up the orchard aisle—winner gets first to pick of apples at home.

    To wear: These Printed Training Tights are perfect for when even a casual walk turns into a race (and they help my daughter scurry up a branch for the big apples).

    2. Visit a pumpkin patch.

    We love to pick up a few locally grown pumpkins to decorate or cook with each year. Challenge your child to a "strongman" contest and see who can lift the heaviest pumpkin while you're there.

    To wear: Suit up your little one in comfort with this Baby Full Zip Coverall so you're ready for whatever adventures the day brings.

    3. Have a nature scavenger hunt.

    Scavenger hunts are one of my favorite ways to keep my daughter preoccupied all year long. We love to get outside and search for acorns, leaves and pinecones as part of our homeschool, but it's also just a great way to get her exercising those gross motor skills whenever the wiggles start to build up.

    To wear: It's not truly fall until you break out a hoodie. This cozy Therma Elite Kids Hoodie features a mesh overlay to release heat while your child plays.

    4. Have a touch-football game.

    Tip for parents with very little kids: It doesn't have to last as long as a real football game. 😂 In fact, staging our own mini-games is one of our favorite ways to get everyone up and moving in between quarters during Sunday football, and I promise we all sleep better that night.

    To wear: From impromptu games of tag to running through our favorite trails, these kids' Nike Air Zoom Speed running shoes are made to cover ground all season long.

    5. Create an indoor obstacle course.

    Pretending the floor is lava was just the beginning. See how elaborate your personal course can get, from jumping on the couch to rolling under the coffee table to hopping down the hallway on one foot.

    To wear: These ready-for-any-activity Dri-FIT Tempo Shorts are perfect for crawling, hopping and racing—and cuddling up when it's time to rest.

    This article was sponsored by Nike. Thank you for supporting the brands that supporting Motherly and mamas.

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