Jessica Alba is refreshingly open about how she—and her kids—are in therapy

Therapy is one of those tools that can benefit the vast majority of people. Think about it — we all go through challenges. Having a professional to help guide you through navigating them can only help, right? But unfortunately, there’s still a stigma attached to therapy and other mental healthcare. That’s why it’s so refreshing to see stars like Jessica Alba speaking out about their own therapy journeys.

In a new interview with Real Simple, Alba was open and honest about not just her experience with therapy, but the fact that her two daughters, 12-year-old Haven and 15-year-old Honor, also go to therapy. The interview started with Alba explaining that she had just come from a therapy session, and that it left her feeling “clear.” In response, the interviewer mentioned how open she’s been about seeing a therapist over the years, and asked why she goes.

“I think it creates a more compassionate container for people to live inside, and I think it can allow for more conversation where there are misunderstandings or misalignments,” Alba explained. “I go to therapy so I can be kinder toward people I don’t always agree with, because I want to be happy. I still want to coexist, and I don’t want to live angry, irritated, or upset with people who don’t think like me. I want to be able to live in harmony with all.”

If that isn’t something we could all use.

Alba continued, “Many of us are empaths, and we take on the feelings of others. I am, and I have to try to create a safe space for myself so I can be OK with things that are out of my control. Current events are just so dark right now. Ultimately, we all want the same things: We want to experience love and joy and feel valued and safe. If we could agree on that, then we could work on what needs to happen to make that true for all. But not everyone has the idea that everyone deserves these things, and those people are the ones who make it hard.”

When it comes to her daughters, Alba said she sees therapy as a tool that helps her better communicate with them.

“Honor was probably 11, and we were arguing all the time about dumb stuff. And I was like, I don’t want to live like this. This is not fun. I didn’t want us to have a wedge between us,” she explained. “As her mother, when I say something, she’s going to hear it as an argument or as me trying to control her. I wanted there to be someone who could explain things in a way I couldn’t. What I said to Honor was, ‘I want to be a better parent to you, and this is your forum to basically talk about everything that gets on your nerves that I do.'”

When the interviewer asked if it helped their relationship, Alba was emphatic that it did.

“It put me in check,” she said. “Like, ‘Yeah, I totally do that. And I’m sorry. I’m going to work on that.’ It gave her a little bit of perspective too—that I’m not the bad guy; I’m just being a parent. She’ll come out the other side of it, and I’ll still be here. I just wanted to get to that point, and it worked. And the therapist allowed me to see that it’s natural for kids to disagree with their parents, and as a parent it’s not always about being right or rational in that moment. I’m not gonna front, it’s a process and I’m not perfect.”

Alba said she recommends therapy for all parents and their kids, especially if they struggle to communicate openly.

“It’s such a valuable tool to help you process your feelings. It’s what this issue is about!” she explained. “Therapy gets you talking about what’s going on with you and unearths the things that aren’t feeling the best or might be confusing, or things that make you happy. And just unpacking it allows you to process it, and then you can repeat good behavior and find the behaviors you want to redirect. What a great tool for anybody.”