In her autobiography, Open Book, Jessica Simpson opened up about her struggles with addiction and her journey to sobriety. Today, she posted a photo of herself from the day she became sober—and it’s more than a little heartbreaking.

Nov. 1 is the four-year anniversary of her sobriety, so Simpson took to Instagram to mark the occasion with the photo and a very personal caption.

“This person in the early morning of Nov 1, 2017 is an unrecognizable version of myself,” she writes. “I had so much self-discovery to unlock and explore. I knew in this very moment I would allow myself to take back my light, show victory over my internal battle of self-respect, and brave this world with piercing clarity.”

Though her book chronicled her journey surrounding her addiction to alcohol, this is the first time Simpson has shared an image from that period of her life.

She says in order to find the peace and clarity she needed, she knew she had to stop drinking. She says she could no longer numb the trauma she was trying to conceal.

“I wanted to feel the pain so I could carry it like a badge of honor,” she explains. “I wanted to live as a leader does and break cycles to advance forward- never looking back with regret and remorse over any choice I have made and would make for the rest of my time here within this beautiful world.”

Simpson is married to former NFL player Eric Johnson, and the couple has three kids together: Maxwell, 9, Ace, 8, and Birdie, 2. In Open Book, Simpson talks about the impact her drinking had on her entire family and how that motivated her to get sober.

In her post, she writes that she “can’t believe” it’s been four years since the day that photo was taken. She says she wishes there wasn’t such a “stigma” around alcoholism and what it means to be an alcoholic because for her—and most people who suffer from addiction—the real problems and trauma lie underneath the mask of alcohol.

“The drinking wasn’t the issue,” she writes. “I was. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t respect my own power.”

That’s all changed since Nov. 1, 2018, however. She’s been on a path of health and happiness ever since—and she’s a wonderful mother who deeply loves her children. She put in the work, and it’s surely paid off.

“I have made nice with the fears and I have accepted the parts of my life that are just sad,” she concludes the post. “I own my personal power with soulful courage. I am wildly honest and comfortably open. I am free.”