When women have the audacity to age, especially women who are in the public eye, it becomes eminently clear that nothing we do is right. Nothing we do will please anyone, it seems, let alone everyone. Meg Ryan is proof of that very notion, because she dared to leave her home with her face attached and now she can’t stop getting bullied over it.

Meg Ryan is 61 years old. She was 35 when she starred in “You’ve Got Mail,” and 30 when she starred in “Sleepless in Seattle.” Apparently, she was supposed to stay frozen in time with her 30s face for eternity, if the internet is to be believed.

Last week, Ryan attended the premiere of “Still,” a new documentary about her friend Michael J. Fox and his battle with Parkinson’s disease. And because she hasn’t been photographed in public in awhile, everyone was quick to pile on with criticisms about how she’s choosing to age. More than one media outlet referred to her as “unrecognizable.”

Hmmm, it’s weird because I immediately clocked her as Meg Ryan without pause. And you simply have to love how outlets slap photos of her in her early 20s and 30s next to her 61-year-old face—how dare women age?!

Related: Madonna would like to remind you that she’s MADONNA, no matter what her face looks like

Has she had plastic surgery? Sure, probably. She’s faced accusations of “bad” plastic surgery for several years now. But let’s not forget that the bankability of women in the entertainment industry solely relies on them maintaining their youthful looks. Because if you’re over 35 in Hollywood, you’re pretty much automatically cast as someone’s grandma. So you’d better look younger than that, always, no matter what.

When it comes to aging, women can’t do anything right. If we age gracefully, we’re crony old hags. If we get work done, we’re “Frankenstein” (yes, someone really called Meg Ryan that).

Related: The internet is roasting E! News for acting like Anne Hathaway, 39, is an old crone

It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Living in a society that detests the aging process and women is wholly untenable. We live in a country where everything from disease to environmental disasters to gun violence is ready to take us out, every single day, at any given time—when will we realize that aging is a gift? A privilege afforded only to those lucky enough to live it. My husband has spent the last year battling brain cancer, and my God did that open my eyes to how beautiful it is to be able to age in a world that not only won’t let you, but doesn’t want you to.

If people want to use the gift of aging to lean into it, wrinkles and grey hairs and all—that’s wonderful. If they want to push against ageist stigmas or ease insecurities with plastic surgery, who cares? We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Wake me up when society starts lambasting 90s rom-com heroes like Richard Gere, Kevin Costner, Tom Hanks, and even Meg Ryan’s ex, Dennis Quaid, for how they choose to age. If you want to be mad about plastic surgery, get mad at famous people who deny having it only to uphold unattainable and toxic beauty standards (remember: you’re not ugly—you’re just poor).

Bottom line: Leave Meg Ryan, our Kathleen Kelly pencil-bouquet queen, ALONE.