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I wish I could say I was surprised by the events that transpired in Charlottesville, but sadly I’m not.


On Saturday, August 12, 2017, the Virginia town—home to the University of Virginia—became a headline and a hashtag virtually overnight. White nationalists, neo-Nazis and other white supremacists gathered in the town to protest the removal of a statue of Robert E. Lee. What followed were violent clashes between protesters and counter-protesters, including a brutal car crash that left one person dead and 19 injured. First-person accounts, along with photos and videos, detailed the horrifying scene.

Beyond the violence, Charlottesville was filled with symbols of hate, from Nazi symbols to the Confederate flag. With each update, I was more disturbed and disheartened.

As a 35-year-old Black woman, I’ve lived through my fair share of racial strife in the United States. But it wasn’t until I became pregnant with my baby girl that I started to think about how I wanted to teach my future children about race in America.

Over the past few years, several events have prompted me to think about how I would talk about race and current events with my future children; most notably, the death of Philando Castile, which happened just 10 miles from the home I share with my husband and daughter.

As a mother, my first instinct is to protect my children, but I know that raising Black children in America means that I have to also prepare them for life in the real world, which includes discussions of race and racism.

I was raised in a pro-Black home, taught to love my history and heritage. Through my adulthood I’ve experienced racism (both overt and covert), but the lessons from my childhood continued to resonate with me. My husband and I plan to raise our 7-month-old the same way: to love her Blackness and take pride in it.

We also want to instill in her a respect for all people, and we plan to provide her with opportunities to interact with all types of people, diverse in color, culture and religion.

My baby girl is too young for a conversation about Charlottesville—but I can only imagine the types of questions I’d get if she were 7 years old instead of 7 months old. I have many older children in my tribe—a tribe made up of family, other children of color and also the children of allies—and I know at some point we’ll have to discuss the events in Charlottesville.

Here’s my game plan for how I’ll answer their questions and ease their fears:

Share a high-level and age-appropriate version of the truth

A 5-year-old isn't going to understand the history of racism in this country, but simply saying "some people don't like other people" isn't enough. We owe it to our children to tell them the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us feel. There are people in the world who hate others because of their skin color, religion or nation of origin. It’s our duty as parents to prepare our children for the real world. Sharing the truth helps build trust with your child, as they’ll know they can come to you to answer the hard questions with honesty.

This conversation can be difficult if you yourself don’t feel prepared, but there are resources available, such as Raising Race Conscious Children, an organization that hosts workshops and provides strategies to parents for talking to young children about race. In this conversation, allow your child to ask questions. Your child’s questions can also be a great segue into learning about the history of civil rights in the United States, social justice or other topics.

Let them know they’re safe

Graphic photos of the violence at Charlottesville have dominated the news and social media these past few days, and your child may have seen them. Even overhearing conversations about the event could spark your children to question their safety, or the safety of their friends. Reassure them as much as you can that they are safe—remind them that it’s a parent’s job to protect them—and instruct them on what to do (such as find a police officer or other adult) if there’s an emergency or some type of violence.

Talk about what you can do together

If your family is able, use this as an opportunity to explore ways you can make an impact in your community. Marching in rallies isn’t for every family, and that’s OK. Check out community events or groups that will allow your child to interact with different types of people. Organizations such as the Points of Light’s HandsOn Network host volunteer opportunities for all ages in a variety of locations.

Head to your local library to check out books related to the civil rights movement or current events. For younger kids, read picture books about different cultures, like Let’s Talk About Race or Lailah’s Lunchbox: A Ramadan Story. For older kids, encourage them to check out young adult fiction or nonfiction to help broaden their learning.

Keep talking

The events at Charlottesville aren't isolated and the conversation shouldn't be either. Children learn by our example, so it’s incumbent on us parents to incorporate lessons about diversity as we teach our children. Books, movies, community events are all great ways to keep the topic current for your kids. Even a simple dinner out to an ethnic restaurant can be an opportunity to get your kids thinking and learning about other cultures.

Buzzfeed Parents produced an excellent video and companion piece that outlined why parents should talk to their kids about race, which is a great starting point for parents who have been apprehensive.

While this past weekend in Charlottesville was an ugly incident, it’s also a learning opportunity—not only for our children, but for us as well. We have the ability to shape them into the adults we want them to be and it starts with honest communication and dialogue.

Although I’m saddened and disappointed that such an event could take place in 2017, I’m encouraged that so many people have stepped forward to denounce and reject the messages of hate.

This is also a wake-up call for me to be more active in my community and more deliberate in the messages I give to my child and the other children in my tribe. We have an opportunity to shape the future into the type of place that’s welcoming to all. And that starts with what we share and teach our children now, especially after an event like Charlottesville.

I’m up for the challenge and I hope you are, too.

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While breastfeeding might seem like a simple task, there are so many pieces to the puzzle aside from your breasts and baby. From securing a good latch, boosting your milk supply and navigating pumping at work or feeding throughout the night, there's a lot that mama has to go through—and a number of products she needs.

No matter how long your nursing journey may be, it can be hard to figure out what items you really need to add to your cart. So we asked our team at Motherly to share items they simply couldn't live without while breastfeeding. You know, those ones that are a total game-changer.

Here are the best 13 products that they recommend—and you can get them all from Walmart.com:

1. Medela Nursing Sleep Bra

"This fuss-free nursing bra was perfect for all the times that I was too tired to fumble with a clasp. It's also so comfy that, I have to admit, I still keep it in rotation despite the fact that my nursing days are behind me (shh!)." —Mary S.

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2. Dr. Brown's Baby First Year Transition Bottles

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3. Multi-Use Nursing Cover

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4. Lansinoh TheraPearl Breast Therapy Pack

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5. Medela Quick Clean Breast Pump Wipes

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6. Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter

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7. Medela Double Electric Pump

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8. Lansinoh Disposable Stay Dry Nursing Pads

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9. Haakaa Silicone Manual Breast Pump

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10. Medela Harmony Breast Pump

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12. Lansinoh Breast Milk Storage Bags

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13. Kiinde Twist Breastfeeding Starter Kit

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This article is sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Orange Is the New Black star Danielle Brooks is pregnant and frustrated. The actress took to Instagram this week to lament the lack of plus-sized options for pregnant people.

"It's so hard to find some clothes to wear today....Although I get to pregnant I still can't find no clothes. It's so hard to find some clothes when you're pregnant," she sings in a lighthearted yet serious video.

"It's so hard to find cute plus size maternity fashion while pregnant, but ima push through," she captioned the clip.

Brooks has been talking a lot this week about the issues people who wear plus size clothing face not just when trying to find clothes but in simply moving through a world that does not support them.

"I feel like the world has built these invisible bullets to bully us in telling us who we're supposed to be and what we're supposed to look like. And I've always had this desire to prove people wrong—to say that this body that I'm in is enough," she told SHAPE (she's on the new cover).

"Now that I'm about to be a mother, it means even more—to make sure that this human being I'm going to bring into the world knows that they are enough," she said.

Danielle Brooks is the body-positive hero we need right now. Now can someone make her some cute maternity clothes, please?

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Can pregnancy be contagious among friends? Science says yes, and so do some staff at a hospital in Maine where nine nurses from the Labor & Delivery Unit were all expecting at the same time, and now they are all mamas.

About 5 months ago, after one of the nurses posted a photo of 8 of the 9 mamas-to-be the sweet pic quickly went viral.

Soon local news stations picked up the story of the baby boom on the L&D unit at Maine Medical Center.



"It's really nice coming to work and seeing other people who are just as pregnant and watching their bellies pop and just talking about these experiences that we are going through together," one of the nurses, Amanda Spear, told WMTW.

"I feel like every other day we would come into work and it would be like, 'someone else is pregnant,'" Spear told NBC.

Another of the nurses, Erin Grenier, said that with every pregnancy announcement the staff got more and more excited for each other.

Nurse Brittney Verville couldn't believe the photo she posted to Facebook before resting up for the night shift got thousands of likes and shares. "When we woke up we're like, 'oh my gosh I think we're viral,'" she told NBC.

Now, the mamas are going viral again, as a picture of the babies is blowing up, even making it to CNN.

The youngest is 3 weeks old and the oldest is 3½ months. The mamas are already getting them together for playdates. The photographer who snapped the viral pic, Carly Murray, told CNN she hopes one say these kiddos understand how important the work their mamas do is.

Congrats to the nurse of the Maine Medical Center Labor and Delivery Unit! 🎉

[A version of this post was originally published March 26, 2019. It has been updated.]

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In the last couple of years Prince Harry has had more eyes on him than ever before, and the beaming new dad has been showing the world that red hair can look really good.

While Prince Harry has taken some ribbing for his hair over the years, it's pretty clear that the former Meghan Markle loves him dearly (red hair and all) and everyone is wondering if baby Archie will be a ginger, too. It looks like Harry's genes are pretty strong.

Several media outlets are reporting that baby Archie appears to have reddish hair, but only time will truly tell if that peach fuzz turns into real read hair.

Is baby Archie really a redhead? 

Photographs of baby Archie seem to suggest his hair does have a reddish hue, and it is totally possible for a couple to have a redheaded baby even if one of them isn't a ginger.

"Even when we can't always see red hair, many people still carry the genes," says Professor Mark Elgar, an evolutionary biologist from the University of Melbourne.

"Recessive genes can stay hidden for a long time, which is why brown-eyed parents can have blue eyed child, just as brown-haired parents can have a redheaded baby," says Professor Elgar.

According to Elgar, this is why reports of redheads with blue eyes (like Prince Harry) "going extinct" are exaggerated. "It does not look like the traits will disappear due to dilution of either the redhead or the blue-eyed genes from the human population."

The ginger genes 

So, if the Duchess has the gene for red hair, baby Archie may share Prince Harry's hair hue. According to USA Today, John H. McDonald, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Delaware put the chances of a redheaded baby for the couple at about 10%.

In fact, there's a chance that any baby—even those with two non-redhead parents—can be a redhead. Recessive genes can pop up seemingly out of nowhere, surprising parents.

While the internet is getting very excited about the possibility that baby Archie is a ginger, we know no matter what his hair eventually looks like (he dies;t have a lot of it right now) his mama will love him as much as she loves his father.

Here's to the redheads. 🎉

[A version of this post was originally published November 5, 2018. It has been updated.]

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Alexis Ohanian has made a lot of important decisions in his life. The decision to co-found Reddit is a pretty big one. So was marrying Serena Williams. But right up there with changing internet culture and making a commitment to his partner, the venture capitalist lists taking time off after his daughter's birth as a significant, life-changing choice.

"Before Olympia was born, I had never thought much about paternity leave and, to be honest, Reddit's company policy was not my idea. Our vice president of people and culture, Katelin Holloway, brought it up to me in a meeting and it sounded O.K., so why not?" Ohanian writes in an op-ed for New York Times Parenting.

He continues: "Then came Olympia, after near-fatal complications forced my wife, Serena, to undergo an emergency C-section. Serena spent days in recovery fighting for her life against pulmonary embolisms. When we came home with our baby girl, Serena had a hole in her abdomen that needed bandage changes daily. She was on medication. She couldn't walk."

The experience changed the way Ohanian viewed paternity leave. It was no longer something that just sounded like a good thing, it was a necessary thing for his family. It was crucial that he take it and now he is advocating for more fathers to be able to. In his piece for the NYT Ohanian points out something that Motherly has previously reported on: It is hard for fathers to take paternity leave even when their government or employer offers it.

A report from Dove Men+Care and Promundo (a global organization dedicated to gender equality) found 85% of dads surveyed in the United States, the UK, Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Japan and the Netherlands would do anything to be very involved in the early weeks and months after their child's birth or adoption, but less than 50% of fathers take as much time as they are entitled to.

Dads need paid leave, but even when they have it social pressures and unrealistic cultural expectations keep them from taking it and they choose not to take all the time they can. Ohanian wants lawmakers and business leaders to make sure that dads can take leave and he wants to help fathers choose to actually take it.

"I was able to take 16 weeks of paid leave from Reddit, and it was one of the most important decisions I've made," Ohanian previously wrote in an essay for Glamour.

Ohanian recognizes that he is privileged in a way most parents aren't.

"It helped that I was a founder and didn't have to worry about what people might say about my 'commitment' to the company, but it was incredible to be able to spend quality time with Olympia. And it was perhaps even more meaningful to be there for my wife and to adjust to this new life we created together—especially after all the complications she had during and after the birth," he wrote for Glamour.

In his NYT piece, Ohanian goes further: "I get that not every father has the flexibility to take leave without the fear that doing so could negatively impact his career. But my message to these guys is simple: Taking leave pays off, and it's continued to pay dividends for me two years later. It should be no surprise that I also encourage all of our employees to take their full leave at Initialized Capital, where I am managing partner; we recently had three dads on paid paternity leave at the same time."

The GOAT's husband is making the same points that we at Motherly make all the time. Research supports paid leave for all parents. It benefits the baby and the parents and that benefits society.

By first taking his leave and then speaking out about the ways in which it benefited his family, Ohanian is using his privileged position to de-stigmatize fathers taking leave, and advocate for more robust parental leave policies for all parents, and his influence doesn't end there. He's trying to show the world that parents shouldn't have to cut off the parent part of themselves in order to be successful in their careers.

He says that when his parental leave finished he transitioned from being a full-time dad to a "business dad."

"I'm fortunate to be my own boss, which comes with the freedoms of doing things like bringing my daughter into the office, or working remotely from virtually anywhere Serena competes. My partners at Initialized are used to seeing Olympia jump on camera—along with her doll Qai Qai—or hearing her babbling on a call. I tell them with pride, 'Olympia's at work today!' And I'll post some photos on Instagram or Twitter so my followers can see it too," Ohanian explains.

"The more we normalize this, on social media and in real life, the better, because I know this kind of dynamic makes a lot of men uncomfortable (and selfishly I want Olympia to hear me talking about start-ups!)," he says.

This is the future of family-friendly work culture. Take it from a guy who created an entire internet culture.

[A version of this post was originally published February 19, 2019. It has been updated.]

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