Kim Kardashian has never shied away from speaking publicly—and candidly—about her pregnancy struggles. The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star has opened up publicly in the past about the high-risk complications she’s faced and the emotions behind choosing surrogacy.

Now, on the heels of the news that her baby girl is here, Kardashian is opening up with a beautiful, honest letter about the whole process of using a gestational surrogate.

In September, Kardashian confirmed she and Kayne West had found a surrogate to carry their third child. At the time, the 37-year-old reality TV star faced intense backlash for the decision—with some fans suggesting she chose surrogacy to “save her body.”

But Kardashian says nothing could be further from the truth: In a post published to her website Thursday, Kardashian writes, “I have always been really honest about my struggles with pregnancy. Preeclampsia and placenta accreta are high-risk conditions, so when I wanted to have a third baby, doctors said that it wasn’t safe for my—or the baby’s—health to carry on my own.”

When pregnant with son Saint, 2, Kardashian had suffered from placenta accreta, a complication where some of the placenta grows deeply into the uterus and prevents it from detaching after labor. And while carrying daughter North, 4, the KKW Beauty mogul developed preeclampsia, a condition characterized by high blood pressure and organ damage.

Her previous health issues, she explains, prevented her from carrying another child. So, Kardashian continues, after exploring their options, the power couple decided to use a gestational carrier—the term for a person who is not biologically related to the baby they’re carrying.

Unlike with a traditional surrogate, Kardashian adds, doctors implanted her fertilized egg in the woman whom they’d chosen as their gestational surrogate, so “our baby is biologically mine and Kanye’s,” she writes.

But the decision wasn’t easy—not by a long shot. Kardashian admits in her letter that, even though she “absolutely” loves her gestational carrier and it was “the best experience” she’s ever had, it’s still “definitely different” than traditional pregnancy.

“[A]nyone who says or thinks it’s the easy way out is completely wrong,” she writes. “People assume it’s better because you don’t have to deal with the physical changes, pain or complications with delivery, but for me it was so hard to not carry my own child, especially after I carried North and Saint.”

Kardashian doesn’t mince words in her letter over how emotionally difficult the last nine months have been. And that’s something every parent needs to understand. Couples who choose surrogacy don’t do so lightly, and there are so many factors that have to be considered before going forward. It also doesn’t mean they’re less of a mother or father.

Still, the Kardashian-West family is blessed, the mom of three adds.

“The connection with our baby came instantly and it’s as if she was with us the whole time,” Kardashian writes. “Having a gestational carrier was so special for us and she made our dreams of expanding our family come true. We are so excited to finally welcome home our baby girl.”