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After months of speculation, the news is officially out: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting their third child. This time, however, the couple turned to a surrogate to expand their family.

“Given her health scares in the past, Kim felt the need to hire a surrogacy agency that helped serve as the liaison in finding a healthy woman who would be a great surrogate option for her and Kanye,” a source told People. “Both of them have been super involved in the process.”

Of course this is a big deal for fans who are eager to see another West cutie—but also for any mama who felt her birth experience was invalidated for whatever reason.

That’s because, if a baby was born, you had an admirable, incredible, strong birth experience.

If you had the trust to let your heart grow from inside the body of a surrogate, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

If you were the surrogate who felt little kicks and big bouts of heartburn for months to then entrust parenting to someone else, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

If you met your adopted child hours, months or even years after he or she entered the world, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

If you carried a child who you courageously felt would be best served in the care of others, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

If you made use of science to conceive, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

If you used a midwife and had a water birth in your own home, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

If you asked for an epidural the second you pulled up to the hospital, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

If you planned exactly how you wanted your delivery to go only for it to play out entirely opposite, a baby was born and you had a valid birth experience.

The truth is we become mothers not through conception, pregnancy or even delivery. We become mothers when babies are born—which means each and every one of us has a valid birth experience.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

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