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Melissa Rauch’s pregnancy announcement and miscarriage reflection help me heal, too

Opening up about miscarriage introduces you to a sisterhood of women—and the more of us who publicly admit it, the better.

Melissa Rauch’s pregnancy announcement and miscarriage reflection help me heal, too

The Big Bang Theory’s Melissa Rauch’s pregnancy announcement is enough to make anyone smile—but what I found myself also appreciating is her open, heartfelt reflection on the miscarriage she previously experienced.


In a beautiful essay for Glamour, the actress revealed she is “overjoyed” to be expecting a child with her husband, Winston, this fall. But, she admitted to having some mixed feelings after suffering a miscarriage. Now, she said her joy is slightly tainted by the awareness of what could go wrong.

That’s a feeling I know well—and I’m grateful to Rauch for articulating it.

Although it’s not easy to open up, she said her goal was to reach out to other women in a similar position and let them know they’re not alone: Even though miscarriage happens in 10 to 25 percent of pregnancies, you can’t help but feel like yours is the only one.

And, after going through that, the pain remains real for years to come, which Rauch said influenced her decision to be completely transparent about her journey.

“When I thought about having to share the news about expecting this baby, all I could think about was another woman mourning over her loss as I did, worried she would never get pregnant again, and reading about my little bundle on the way,” Rauch said. “It felt a bit disingenuous to not also share the struggle it took for me to get here.”

Rauch talked candidly about how difficult it was for her to process the loss of her unborn child. Like me, she was crushed by the thought of what might have been—the idea of who that person could have become, if only they’d had the chance.

And, like me, she tried to rush through the grieving process. She says she put pressure on herself to be “over this by now,” and wondered whether she was somehow at fault.

But, then she figured out that it was fine to feel down. And it was more than OK—it was essential—to mourn. I’ve been there, and it takes time.

By opening up about that, she hopes to help other women feel less guilty for taking the time they need to cope.

“Because this kind of loss is not openly talked about nearly as much as it should be, there really is no template for how to process these emotions,” she said. “You’re not necessarily going to a funeral or taking time off from work to mourn, but that doesn’t change the fact that something precious has been unexpectedly taken from your life.”

Having lost my first baby, Rauch’s honest and humorous testimony touches a nerve. It never occurred to me that my pregnancy might not work out. I barreled straight into it expecting the best and felt similarly “blindsided” when the ultrasound told its terrible truth. But, like Rauch, I decided to be open. I spoke to other moms about their experiences. I discovered two of my friends had both lost babies in the first trimester.

I realized there was a sisterhood of women just like me—and the more of us who publicly admit it, the better.

Reflecting on her journey so far, Rauch sees a lot of reasons to be positive. One of them is gratitude: “All I really know for sure is that this experience has changed me forever. I know it’s made me grateful for every moment of my current pregnancy, and I hope it will make me a better mother in some capacity when I can finally hold the child that has been in my heart in my arms.”

Eighteen months after my miscarriage, I was able to do just that. It’s truly an experience that I never take for granted.

After 4 kids, this is still the best baby gear item I’ve ever purchased

I wouldn't be swooning over the BABYBJÖRN bouncer after eight years and four kids if it didn't work.

I have four kids 8 and under, so you might expect that my house is teeming with baby gear and kid toys.

But it turns out that for me, the more kids I have, the more I simplify our stuff. At this point, I'm down to the absolute essentials, the gear that I can't live without and the toys my kids actually play with. And so when a mama-to-be asks me what things are worth registering for, there are only a few must-haves on my list.

The BABYBJÖRN bouncer seat is on the top of my list—totally worth it and an absolute must-have for any new mama.

In fact, since I first splurged on my first BABYBJÖRN bouncer eight years ago (it definitely felt like a splurge at the time, but the five star reviews were really compelling), the bouncer seat has become the most-used product in our house for baby's first year.

We've actually invested in a second one so that we didn't have to keep moving ours from the bedroom to the living room when we change locations.

BABYBJÖRN bouncer bliss

baby bjorn bouncer

The utility of the seat might seem counterintuitive—it has no mechanical parts, so your baby is instead gently bounced by her own movements. In a world where many baby products are touted for their ability to mechanically rock baby to sleep, I get that many moms might not find the "no-motion" bouncer that compelling. But it turns out that the seat is quite reactive to baby's little kicks, and it has helped my kids to learn how to self-soothe.

$200

Lightweight + compact:

The BABYBJÖRN bouncer is super lightweight, and it also folds flat in a second. Because of those features, we've frequently stored it under the couch, in a suitcase or in the back of the car. It folds completely flat, which I love.

Entertainment zone:

Is the toy bar worth it? The toy bar is totally worth it. Not only is the toy bar adorable, but it's one of the first toys that my babies actually play with once they discover the world beyond my boobs. The toys spin and are close to eye level so they have frequently kept my baby entertained while I cook or take a quick shower.

Great style:

This is not a small detail to me–the BABYBJÖRN bouncer is seriously stylish. I am done with baby gear and toys that make my house look like a theme park. The elegant European design honestly just looks good in my living room and I appreciate that parents can enjoy it as much as baby.

It's adjustable:

With three height settings that let you prop baby up to be entertained, or lay back to rest, we get years of use. And the bouncer can actually be adjusted for bigger kids and used from newborn to toddler age. It's that good.

It just works:

I wouldn't be swooning over the BABYBJÖRN bouncer after eight years and four kids if it didn't work. But I have used the seat as a safe space to put baby while I've worked (I once rocked my baby in it with my foot while I reported on a breaking news story for the Washington Post), and as a cozy spot for my second child to lay while his big brother played nearby. It's held up for almost a decade with almost-constant use.

So for me, looking back on what I thought was a splurge eight years ago, was actually one of the best investments in baby gear I ever made.

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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