If you're looking for the funniest and most relatable two minutes you'll see all day, look no further than this mom's viral TikTok. Former news reporter Kayla Sullivan shared an extremely entertaining recap of her son's tantrum at Olive Garden earlier in the day, and it's everything.

As we all know, taking a toddler to a restaurant is a special form of masochism. But sometimes we just want to go out to eat! Sullivan puts her reporting skills to good use in her TikTok "report," and it's no wonder everyone is loving it so much. (Bonus points to Sullivan for not exploiting her child's vulnerable moment but providing relatable content in this absolutely perfect way instead. It's *chef's kiss.*)

“Kayla Sullivan reporting live from outside my son's bedroom where he is currently being detained until naptime is over,” Sullivan said, holding a toy microphone in the hallway of her house. “Now this story does involve a minor so I can't release specifics, but what I can confirm is my son is a 2-year-old terrorist who held me hostage at the Olive Garden earlier today.”

@kaylareporting Now accepting donations for babysitters & or take out! Venmo: @Kayla-Sullivan-96 🤣 #NewsVoice #ToddlerMom #EveryKiss #newsvoice #YerAWizard #2022 ♬ original sound - Kayla Marie Sullivan

Sullivan says she went to Olive Garden to meet some friends, and brought all of the necessary "in case of emergency" items that you have to bring when you go anywhere in public with tiny children.

“This is an active investigation but authorities believed the proper precautions were taken,” Sullivan continued. “I brought my son's favorite snacks and even risked judgment from other moms by bringing an iPad. But not even Cocomelon could have stopped this meltdown.”

LOL. It only gets better (or worse, depending on your perspective) from there.

“After several cries demanding, quote, 'chet-chup' a Good Samaritan waitress miraculously understood it as the English word ketchup and brought him a bottle,” Sullivan continues in the TikTok video. “Unfortunately, her good deed was later punished after he threw a ketchup-covered fork at her. Not all heroes wear capes, but this one should have worn an apron.”

And because the internet can be an amazing place, the Good Samaritan himself dueted Sullivan's original video by adding his "witness statement" to the "live report."

@kaylareporting #duet with @cltrxmpls YOU GUYS!!! WE FOUND THE GOOD SAMARITAN!!!😂😂😂😂 #ThankYouForYourService #fyp #funny #NewsVoice #series ♬ original sound - cltrxmpls

Sullivan even gives a shoutout to all the millennial parents who are practicing a more patient, gentler approach to parenting than previous generations. (Which, she surmises, may also be at the root of the tantrum itself. Then again, toddlers are just gonna toddler no matter what. You can't fight City Hall or Mother Nature, amiright?)

“These toddler outbursts are becoming increasingly common as more and more parents try out the new craze 'gentle parenting' and completely suck at it," she concludes. "Back to you."

Though any parent watching that video is probably feeling secondhand anxiety just listening to the Olive Garden story, it's just another reminder that we've all got some common ground in this whole parenting thing.

Now excuse me while I move our own family's bottle of ketchup to higher ground.

Toddlers are the great unifier of us all, aren't they? See the humor in this stage and give yourself a little extra grace, mama. You've got this.

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