Print Friendly and PDF

When we're pregnant we're super cautious about everything we do to our bodies. I've been there, in a nurse's office, with three inches of undyed roots, asking if it was safe to use nail polish. We do everything possible to protect the little babies growing within us, so it's understandable that some mothers have been hesitant to get the flu shot while pregnant.

But research is bringing good news as we head into flu season: Getting the flu vaccine while pregnant poses no risk to the baby (and experts say it will even protect them).

A recent study, published in the journal Pediatrics, saw researchers review records of more than 400,000 babies, from birth to six months.

FEATURED VIDEO

“It's a very large study that looks at very many pregnant woman and could not find adverse effects among them, or among their infants," Dr. Elizabeth Barnett, a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Committee on Infectious Diseases and Professor of Pediatrics at Boston University School of Medicine, tells Motherly.

Barnett says she understands how mothers, their partners and their families can feel anxious about vaccines during pregnancy, and hopes seeing this study will put some minds at ease because the flu shot is recommended to protect both mama and baby. “For pregnant women, whenever there's some exposure that's new, or something that you're going to put into your body when you're carrying a baby, everything is thought about in a different way," she explains.

“It is normal to be concerned and interested in whether a vaccine could have an adverse effect, and certainly we do know that there are vaccines that are not recommended during pregnancy, but this is not one of those vaccines. This is a vaccine that's been studied during pregnancy and shown to be effective at reducing flu complications for pregnant women and babies and therefore is not in the same category as unstudied or novel exposures."

Barnett's comments are echoed by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). A representative for the ACOG directed Motherly to a statement that reads, in part:

“ACOG continues to recommend that all women receive the influenza vaccine. This is particularly important during pregnancy. Influenza vaccination is an essential element of prenatal care because pregnant women are at an increased risk of serious illness and mortality due to influenza. In addition, maternal vaccination is the most effective strategy to protect newborns because the vaccine is not approved for use in infants younger than six months."

The ACOG and the CDC both state that while another (CDC-funded) study published last year did show that for women early in their pregnancies who received two consecutive annual flu shots during 2010-11 and 2011-12, there was an increased risk of miscarriage in the 28 days after receiving the second vaccine. The CDC is currently investigating those results further, with the followup results expected this year or next, because the results of that one study conflict with many other studies that have shown women who've gotten the flu shot during pregnancy have not had a higher risk of miscarriage.

That's why the ACOG and the CDC recommend flu shots for pregnant women, because the research shows they are safe, and this new study backs up that previous work. The flu can be pretty serious for pregnant people, and complications can result in hospitalization. Experts say getting the shot is worth it, and that pregnant women don't need to fear it.

“The benefit of getting a flu vaccine during pregnancy is that it protects first, the pregnant woman who can be at greater risk for complications from the flu during pregnancy, and second [it protects] the infant," Barnett explains.

And really, protecting the baby is what all pregnant mamas want.

[This post was originally published March 1, 2018. It has been updated.]

You might also like:



The very best of Motherly — delivered when you need it most.
Subscribe for inspiration, empowering articles and expert tips to rock your best #momlife.

When it comes to holiday gifts, we know what you really want, mama. A full night's sleep. Privacy in the bathroom. The opportunity to eat your dinner while it's still hot. Time to wash—and dry!—your hair. A complete wardrobe refresh.


While we can't help with everything on your list (we're still trying to figure out how to get some extra zzz's ourselves), here are 14 gift ideas that'll make you look, if not feel, like a whole new woman. Even when you're sleep deprived.

Gap Cable-Knit Turtleneck Sweater

When winter hits, one of our go-to outfits will be this tunic-length sweater and a pair of leggings. Warm and everyday-friendly, we can get behind that.

$69.95

Gap Cigarette Jeans

These high-waisted straight-leg jeans have secret smoothing panels to hide any lumps and bumps (because really, we've all got 'em).

$79.95

Tiny Tags Gold Skinny Bar Necklace

Whether engraved with a child's name or date of birth, this personalized necklace will become your go-to piece of everyday jewelry.

$135.00

Gap Brushed Pointelle Crew

This wear-with-anything soft pink sweater with delicate eyelet details can be dressed up for work or dressed down for weekend time with the family. Versatility for the win!

$79.95

Gap Flannel Pajama Set

For mamas who sleep warm, this PJ set offers the best of both worlds: cozy flannel and comfy shorts. Plus, it comes with a coordinating eye mask for a blissed-out slumber.

$69.95

Spafinder Gift Card

You can't give the gift of relaxation, per say, but you can give a gift certificate for a massage or spa service, and that's close enough!

$50.00

Gap Stripe Long Sleeve Crewneck

This featherweight long-sleeve tee is the perfect layering piece under hoodies, cardigans, and blazers.

$29.95

Gap Chenille Smartphone Gloves

Gone are the days of removing toasty gloves before accessing our touchscreen devices—thank goodness!

$9.95

Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug

Make multiple trips to the microwave a thing of the past with a app-controlled smart mug that'll keep your coffee or tea at the exact temperature you prefer for up to an hour.

$79.95

Gap Flannel Shirt

Our new favorite flannel boasts an easy-to-wear drapey fit and a flattering curved shirttail hem.

$59.95

Gap Sherpa-Lined Denim Jacket

Stay warm while looking cool in this iconic jean jacket, featuring teddy bear-soft fleece lining and a trendy oversized fit.

$98.00

Gap Crazy Stripe Scarf

Practical and stylish, this cozy scarf adds a pop of color—well, colors—to any winter ensemble.

$39.95

Nixplay Seed Frame

This digital picture frame is perfect for mamas who stay up late scrolling through their phone's photo album to glimpse their kiddos being adorable. By sending them to this smart frame to view throughout the day, you can get a few extra minutes of sleep at night!

$165.00

Gap Crewneck Sweater

Busy mamas will appreciate that this supersoft, super versatile Merino wool sweater is machine washable.

$59.95

This article was sponsored by GAP. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and Mamas.

Our Partners

I feel a twinge of anxiety every time I take my son to the pediatrician. And it's not just over the shots or the probably germ-infested waiting-room toy he's pawing. The stress kicks in once the receptionist hands me the developmental questionnaire, which includes a list of physical, cognitive, and social developmental milestones to tick off.

Does your child respond to their name? (I call my son's name a few times to see. That's a nope.)

Does your child roll? (He's done it, but it didn't seem to be intentional. I consult my husband before checking the "sometimes" box.)

Does your child smile? (Phew. A clear yes.)

FEATURED VIDEO

Each time I hand the sheet over to my doctor, she's quick to reassure me that this is not, in fact, a test and that there is a big range of what's typical. Still, I have to admit, in the absence of concrete feedback about my parenting, I find myself using these milestones to assess not just how my son is doing, but also how I'm doing as a parent. And when it's unclear whether or not my son is "on track," I worry.

A recent survey has confirmed I'm not alone. The results, collected by OnePoll on behalf of Mead Johnson Nutrition, revealed that 54 percent of moms are worried about their babies reaching milestones at the right age.

"In my practice, I get a lot of referrals for evaluating a child's development, and I see such high levels of anxiety among parents," says Mona Delahooke, PhD, child psychologist and author of Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Change Children's Behavioral Challenges. "When you get feedback that your child is delayed in hitting a milestone or is missing a milestone, it can be so anxiety-provoking, but it's really needless because a child's development is always changing."

When you're hunched over that list at the doctor's office, it might be difficult not to see milestones as anything but black-and-white, but experts stress that it's important to read between the lines. Development is dynamic, milestones are variable, and they're unreliable predictors of future success or failure.

Milestones are variable

Developmental milestones are intended to be guidelines interpreted with the understanding that kids develop at variable rates, says Damon Korb, MD, developmental and behavioral pediatrician, author of Raising an Organized Child, and director and founder of The Center of Developing Minds. "They don't predict what will happen later," he says. "They're just an indicator of where we're at now, and that we're moving through the stages and aren't stuck."

The ages associated with milestones merely reflect an average. Take walking, for example. When you hear that a child is "supposed to" take their first steps by a year old, what that milestone really says is: This is the age by which most children take steps. If you pan out, you'll see that "normal" variation ranges anywhere from about 8 to 18 months.

And parents of premature babies should give their children additional leeway. "If your child was born prematurely, apply milestones to the baby's due date, and not the birth date," Korb says. "It would be unfair to hold a 3-months premature baby to the same standard as someone who had an extra 3 months in the womb."

Progress isn't always linear

Typical development also isn't a straight line. While the word "milestone" implies a step-by-step progression with a neat path connecting point A to point B, experts have found that's simply not how the brain works.

"Developmental theory is moving toward seeing development as happening in cycles rather than in a straight line," Delahook says. " I don't even use the word milestone anymore because I feel that they are so dynamic and shifting. I call them processes."

As children make leaps, they'll simultaneously experience small regressions. "You may see children who have a burst of language development and get clumsy for a month or two. Or the opposite," Korb says. "Uneven growth in one area of the brain can overwhelm growth in the other temporarily."

Learning to walk is a microcosm of this back-and-forth process. "When toddlers learn to walk, they don't learn all at once," Delahooke says. "You walk, then you fall. Over time those motor skills develop through a few steps forward, and a few steps backward. It doesn't happen all at once."

Likewise, it's not uncommon to see a child who is early to walk, but late to talk, or vice-versa. "While kids can do a whole bunch of things at one time, sometimes they can only truly advance their milestones one at a time while the others lag," says Katherine Williamson, MD, FAAP, a California-based pediatrician and media spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Step away from the milestone to view the big picture

Developmental questionnaires aren't pass/fail tests — there's only so much a single milestone can tell us. Your doctor collects this information so they can evaluate milestones in the context of a child's overall development.

"If I have a patient who was hitting all their milestones until 6 or 9 months and then slows down, I'm looking for something new," Williamson says. "If I have a kid who is always a little late to roll, crawl, and walk, but they get there, I sort of know their pattern. That's a kid who might be putting their focus more on social cues than physical development."

Look at each milestone as one piece of the puzzle. Without considering your child's development as a whole, examining one tiny part won't tell you much about where they stand. And myopic focus on each small piece can prevent you from seeing what's really important.

For instance, rather than tallying up each word your toddler says, consider the many ways your child communicates. Even if a child doesn't talk at all, ask yourself whether or not they're communicating through gestures, pointing, or facial expressions. "Step back to see if your kid is engaging, if they understand a lot of what you're saying, and if they're starting to learn new words — even if the kid next door is the same age and is speaking full sentences, because that doesn't necessarily mean anything," Williamson says.

Early developmental achievements ≠ future success

We've all probably heard stories of the babies who rattle off whole paragraphs before they turn one or break into a full sprint at 8 months. It can be tempting to look at a child who's ahead on milestones (especially if they're your own) and wonder if they might be destined to become the next Steve Jobs or Serena Williams.

While it's entirely possible you have a budding brainiac or a future Olympian on your hands, the age at which your child hits milestones won't necessarily predict it. "It's a misconception that if your kid talks at 10 months, they're a genius," Korb says. "It just means his development was more uneven."

As with developmental lags, it's best to look at leaps in the context of the child's overall development. "The fact that someone reads early is not predictive," Korb says. "But if they read well and have good communication skills and are good at figuring out puzzles, you can say that this guy is an effective thinker."

Some milestone delays do require intervention

Though milestones may be unreliable markers of future genius, doctors do rely on them to help identify developmental challenges. In some cases, significant ongoing developmental delays will require an intervention or additional diagnosis, as they can be symptomatic of a learning or developmental disability.

If your child is not reaching milestones within the suggested range, don't worry, but do check in with your pediatrician, Williamson urges. "It's good to have them take into the context to see if intervention is necessary," she explains. "This is where we want parents to want to rely on their pediatrician and not put it on them to self-diagnose their children."

The good news for parents is that there are many ways to support developmental delays. "We can support a child if they happen to have areas of challenge. We know how to do that," Delahooke says. "It's super hopeful. It's not fixed."

Instead of thinking about milestones as scrawled in permanent ink, try thinking of them as sketched in pencil, as alterable markings that provide guidance, rather than a definitive letter grade assessing your child — or your parenting.

"We have enough to worry about as parents," Delahooke says. "If we recognize how dynamic development is, we'll have more compassion for not only for our kids, but also for ourselves."

Life

For parents of babies and toddlers, diapers are a big expense that can represent a substantial portion of a family's monthly grocery budget, but when families fall on hard times and get support paying for groceries, diapers aren't covered. Programs like the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) are meant to fill families nutritional needs, not hygiene needs, so you can't buy diapers with a SNAP card (also known as food stamps).

This week San Fransisco county became the first county in America to offer free diapers to families who use SNAP, (known at the state level as CalFresh). Starting this month, parents in San Fransisco who use CalFresh qualify for a free monthly supply of diapers thanks to the San Francisco Diaper Bank, a partnership between the Human Services Agency (HSA) and Help a Mother Out (HAMO). This is made possible by a $2.5 million grant from the California Department of Social Services.

FEATURED VIDEO

It's good to see communities recognizing that diapers are as necessary as food. Studies indicate that when mothers don't have the diapers they need for their babies their mental health suffers, but that an "an adequate supply of diapers may prove a tangible way of reducing parenting stress, a critical factor influencing child health and development"

"It costs like $25 for one box of diapers. I remember the time when I had to decide between buying milk and buying diapers. No parent should have to go through that. You have no idea what this program has meant for me," San Francisco Diaper Bank participant Hanen Bouzidi explains.

Without the extra help, parents like Hanen end up at the mercy of convenience stores that separate the large boxes of diapers to sell them individually. It's one of those times when being poor means you have to spend more money: You can't afford a $25 box containing 96 diapers, so you have to spend $1 on one individual diaper at the corner store just to get your baby through the day.

And while many people are quick to suggest low-income parents take up cloth diapering, it is not practical for every family. If the only laundry machines you have access to are coin-operated and outside your home, you may not have the money or the time to launder them. Plus, most laundromats won't let you wash them and some childcare providers will only take kids who are wearing disposables. In short, cloth diapers are a wonderful solution for many families, but they are not a practical solution many families using SNAP cards. That's why San Fransisco's move to provide free diapers is so important.

Some lawmakers in other parts of the country are trying to introduce legislation to provide free diapers to families who need them, so we could see other areas following San Fransisco's lead in the coming years. This is important because no child should be at risk for the physical problems that can happen when parents feel they have no choice but to reuse or overuse diapers, and no mother should be forced to carry the weight of the guilt of diaper need.

Providing diapers to families who desperately need them improves the health of moms and babies, and removes a barrier that keeps moms from accessing childcare and early childhood education programs.

News

This week marked World Kindness Day, but in Pittsburgh, PA the hometown of the late Mr. Rogers, it was also Cardigan Day—a chance to celebrate an icon of kindness and his iconic knitwear.

That's what staff at UPMC Magee-Womens Hospital were doing when they dressed all the babies like Mr. Rogers in hand-crocheted cardigans and sneaker-style booties made by nurse Caitlin Pechin.

Pechin says crocheting is something she does for fun and while making all the little outfits took several hours, she "really enjoy[s] making things for all the babies because they look so cute in them."

They absolutely do!

😍😍😍

The sweetest little neighbors

The babies looked so cozy and cute and they even got a visit from the woman who was closest to Mr. Rogers, his widow, Joanne Rogers. "She was so sweet and so sincere and just wished us the best of luck as new parents," Kristen Lewandowski, whose first child, Mary Rose, was among the cardigan-wearing newborns, told Good Morning America.

"She told us to support one another and we thought that was great advice," Lewandowski explained.

Mr. Rogers died in 2003 but his legacy lives on

The new movie about Mr. Rogers—A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, starring Tom Hanks—hits theaters on November 22. Mr. Rogers has been gone for 16 years, but the new film and the way we talk about kindness today proves that his legacy lives on in 2019.

"When I was little, I watched Mister Rogers' Neighborhood with my grandmother, my grandma Mary, who we named our [daughter] Mary after," Lewandowski's partner, Michael, explains.

Mrs. Rogers reportedly loved getting to meet little Mary Rose and the other babies and told their parents she was sure her husband would have loved to meet them, too.

A Mr. Rogers sweater for Mrs. Rogers

The babies weren't the only ones donning cardigans at the event. Mrs. Rogers wore a cardigan that belonged to Mr. Rogers, and the nursing staff wore t-shirts designed to mimic the tie-and-cardigan look Mr. Rogers was known for.

The whole event was absolutely adorable and has us thinking a lot about the lessons Mr. Rogers taught us (and looking forward to seeing another beloved icon, Tom Hanks, play him.)

The movie hits theaters this Thanksgiving 

The reason why people are dressing babies up as Mr. Rogers 16 years after his passing is the same reason why Tom Hanks wanted to play him: He was the personification of kindness in a world that needs more of it. He brought love and empathy to a medium that is usually used to sell breakfast cereals and plastic toys. But Mr. Rogers wasn't pushing artificial ingredients and consumerism: He just wanted us kids to love each other and ourselves.

"I think that, when Fred Rogers first saw children's programming, he saw something that was cynical," Hanks said at the Toronto Film Festival, explaining why he wanted to take on this role.

"And why in the world would you put a pipeline of cynicism into the minds of a 2 or 3-year-old-kid? That you are not cool because you don't have this toy, that it's funny to see somebody being bopped on the head, that hey, kids be the first in line in order to get blah, blah, blah. That's a cynical treatment of an audience, and we have become so inured to that that when we are met with as simple a message as hey, you know what, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, [it's a reminder] that we are allowed...to start off feeling good," Hanks shared.

Mr. Rogers was a pioneer in using screen time to raise empathetic and kind kids and he made an impact on a generation.

Let's all take a look at these little neighbors and feel good today

There is something so pure about Mrs. Rogers visiting these babies, who are dressed like her husband because of the kindness of a maternity ward nurse. In a world where there is so much bad, let's look at all this good—and all these adorable babies who could become the next icon of kindness.

News

American humorist Josh Billings said something over a century ago, and it still remains today: "Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take." Advice is hard to take, but so easy (and often fun) to give. But, when it comes to parenting advice, most mamas are all ears. We're always ready to get the best tips on how to raise happy, successful humans.

That's why we looked to the parenting threads on Reddit where mamas discuss their cures for mom burnout.

Here's the best parenting advice Reddit mamas swear by to cure burnout:

1. Hire help

"Get yourself a mother's helper. They're someone who's there when you are for the most part. They can supervise, play with the kids, take to the park, make lunch, help with chores and sometimes if they're old enough watch them while you shop/run errands. I used to find them at the high school in my area that ran a child development class, they had background checks and training in child development. You could also try local daycares to see if anyone wanted hours outside of those. Everyone needs a break sometimes." — Mudd82

2. Don't be afraid to do nothing

"You need the time to rest in the evenings. After kid goes to bed, take a bath. Run an errand if you need to. Maybe husband can take over bedtime and bath every other day so you get to sit on the sofa and do nothing." — KatesDT

3. Share the load

"My wife and I go every other night with the toddler. I do bed time one night and she does bed time the next night.

Gives a few hours of alone time."— jonahsnarc

4. Take advantage of nap time

"During his nap time, try to do things that will help you recharge. Reading, a long shower, painting, gardening, whatever hobby you have that is fulfilling for you. I know for me that nap time is valuable time for chores or sleeping." — etherealbadger

5. Have a baby proofed room

"Aggressively baby proof one space in your house just for the kiddo. Get rid of all chokeables, protect the outlets, anchor the furniture. Having a room where the worst that can happen is they fall over of their own accord can give you a little mental peace." — avesmaria

6. Drink water

"Drink water. The health and beauty benefits are totally worth having to pee." —apotatopirate

FEATURED VIDEO

7. Encourage independent play

"Start teaching your child how to play alone. Maybe with a kitchen timer and start with small increments of time. They can play by themself for X minutes and then when the timer goes off, you play with him a little. Gradually increase the amount of time as you go. While they are playing, do something for yourself." —Domina_Mollia

8. Take a shower—alone

"My self-care consists mainly of uninterrupted showers! My husband knows that's my tiny slice of sanity." —moondruidmum

9. Find a quiet place

"Sometimes my self-care is as simple as going through the drive through at Starbucks, parking on a quiet street somewhere and watching Netflix on my phone while I drink it. I also enjoy baking, walking around places like Hobby Lobby or Target, or just taking a long bath." —MrFoxSox

10. Put on some music and let go

"I like to turn on Beyoncé and bake cookies while dancing and singing along." —MollyStrongMama


Life
Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our  Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.