Home / Parenting A parent’s guide to nurturing high achievers Jessica Klaus/Stocksy It's essential to continually remind them that their worth is not solely tied to their achievements or accolades. By Dr. Esther Zeledon March 14, 2024 Jessica Klaus/Stocksy Rectangle Inside this article Encourage activities beyond academics Valuing emotional intelligence alongside performance Fostering individual passions and purpose in high achievers Explore personalized techniques for wellness and well-being Nurture their creativity Be the bedrock of support: Offering unconditional love As a lifelong high achiever, a coach for high achievers and now a parent to high achievers, I’vecome to understand the unique challenges and needs of children who naturally excel inacademic and extracurricular pursuits. These children stand out for their remarkable self-motivation, organization and consistent performance—they are the ones diligently turning inassignments on time, scoring high grades and are often perceived as “perfect” kids. However, this pursuit of excellence can come with its own set of challenges. High achieversoften grapple with perfectionism, people-pleasing and overthinking, frequently suffering insilence. They can easily become entrapped in societal molds, losing sight of their authenticselves and, especially, forgetting to have fun. Related: How to help your child become a healthy achiever—while avoiding ‘toxic achievement culture’ Drawing on my personal journey and professional experience, here are six key strategies forparents to nurture high achievers, ensuring they grow not just in competence, but also inhappiness and health. 1. Encourage activities beyond academics For high achievers, the emphasis on balanced development is crucial. These children, oftenfocused intently on academic success, can inadvertently neglect their personal growth and theimportance of forging meaningful relationships. It’s vital to encourage activities beyondacademics, such as sports, arts or community service. These pursuits not only foster personalgrowth and empathy but also teach valuable life skills like teamwork and resilience. In particular, community service can be profoundly impactful, exposing high achievers to diverseperspectives and instilling a sense of social responsibility and the importance of community andconnection. These experiences broaden their understanding of the world and the role they canplay in it. As parents, guiding your high-achieving child to balance their academic pursuits withthese enriching activities is key to nurturing well-rounded individuals who are prepared for bothpersonal and professional success. Related: How to help your perfectionist child 2. Valuing emotional intelligence alongside performance High achievers are often innately driven to excel, whether in academics, sports or any chosenactivity. This drive to master and perfect their skills is a defining characteristic, as they arenaturally inclined towards high academic performance and intellectual pursuits. However, thissingular focus on intellectual pursuits and tangible achievements can overshadow the equallycrucial aspect of emotional intelligence. Developing emotional intelligence is pivotal for high achieving children, especially as they tendto be their own harshest critics and may suffer in silence. Childhood is the opportune time for parents to guide them in understanding and managing their emotions, building resilience and adopting self-care practices. Engaging in regular, open conversations about feelings, challenges and coping strategies is essential. These discussions can help high achievers navigate their complex inner worlds, making them less prone to depression and anxiety. Emotional intelligence skills are lifelong assets, especially for high achievers who often faceintense scrutiny and high expectations. By balancing academic and performance-focusedpursuits with emotional learning, high achievers can grow into well-adjusted individualsequipped to handle the myriad challenges life presents. Related: Study shows mindfulness apps can reduce kids’ stress 3. Fostering individual passions and purpose in high achievers Supporting a child’s unique passions and purposes is crucial, particularly for high achievers.Often, these children have a wide array of opportunities open to them, making it tempting forparents to steer them towards traditionally prestigious, high-earning careers like medicine, lawor engineering. However, this approach can inadvertently project our unfulfilled aspirations ordefinitions of success onto them, rather than nurturing their individual interests and aspirations. It’s essential to give high achieving children the space to explore and align with their true calling,even if it veers off the conventional path. Encourage them to delve into their interests andengage in open conversations about their career aspirations, focusing on what genuinelyexcites and motivates them rather than societal prestige or parental notions of security. Suchsupport not only paves the way for their success but also ensures their journey is marked byfulfillment and happiness. When high achievers align their endeavors with their personalpassions, they not only excel but also cultivate a deep sense of satisfaction and joy in theirachievements. Related: To the mamas who just want to raise ‘good’ kids 4. Explore personalized techniques for wellness and well-being One of the key aspects of supporting high achieving children is teaching them wellness andwell-being techniques. It’s vital to provide them with a range of tools, such as therapy,mindfulness practices, yoga, journaling or breathwork, to effectively manage stress and preventburnout. These practices foster a crucial balance between striving for excellence andmaintaining mental health. However, it’s essential to remember that there is no one-size-fits-allsolution. Our challenges are just as unique as the methods that effectively address them. The most important factor is to expose high achieving children to various options, allowing themto discover what resonates with them personally. This process of exploration is valuable in itself,promoting a proactive approach to seeking support and trying new strategies. By introducingthem to a spectrum of wellness techniques, we empower them to find their unique pathway tomanage stress and nurture their mental well-being, which is just as important as nurturing theiracademic or professional excellence. 5. Nurture their creativity Encouraging creativity is fundamental for the growth and development of high achievingchildren. It serves as a refreshing break from their usual structured, achievement-focusedactivities. Engaging in creative outlets like painting, music or innovative problem-solvingexercises stimulate their minds in new and exciting ways. Creative endeavors, almost bydefinition, resist the idea of perfection, and for high achievers who so often focus on “getting itright,” engaging their creative sides also promotes a more resilient, growth mindset. Thisfreedom to explore and experiment is crucial as it fosters a sense of innovation and flexibility,traits that are invaluable in both personal and professional spheres. For high achievers, creativity is often the missing piece in a life filled with pursuits of excellence.As adults, they may find themselves with little time for creative endeavors or may not prioritizethem. Thus, it is essential to instill the importance of creativity from a young age. Encouragingthem to set aside time for creative activities can offer a much-needed respite from the relentlesschase for accolades. More importantly, it can lead to long-term satisfaction and fulfillment. Bynurturing their creative skills and interests, parents can help high achieving children develop adiversified personality, ensuring that they grow into adults who value and integrate creativity intotheir lives. Related: How to know when to quit youth sports—from a family therapist 6. Be the bedrock of support: Offering unconditional love One of the most meaningful roles a parent can play in the life of a high achiever is to be theirbedrock of support, offering unconditional love at every turn. It’s essential to continually remindthem that their worth is not solely tied to their achievements or accolades. This unwaveringsupport is the cornerstone of their self-esteem and confidence, both of which are vital for theiroverall growth and success. High achievers often face enormous pressure, whether at work, in academic settings or withintheir social circles. They are frequently judged, hyper-scrutinized and may even experiencebullying. When they turn to you, it’s important to listen empathetically and refrain fromimmediately offering opinions or solutions. There will be times when they might call to sharetheir troubles or anxieties. These moments are crucial; they need you to listen, open your armsand reassure them of their value. Remind them that it’s okay to make mistakes, that they don’tneed to be perfect or please everyone. Your role is to be that safe haven where they arereminded that they are loved and valued for who they are, beyond any achievement or failure. Related: 6 signs it’s time to hire a tutor for your child Nurturing a high achieving child means encouraging more than just academic or professionalexcellence but also supporting their holistic development, ensuring they grow into emotionallyintelligent, resilient and well-rounded individuals. This involves fostering their creativity,teaching them to manage stress effectively and supporting their passions and individualaspirations. Most importantly, it’s about providing a foundation of unconditional love andsupport, reminding them that their worth extends far beyond their achievements. As parents andmentors, our goal should be to help high achievers not only succeed in their endeavors but alsofind joy, fulfillment and balance in their lives. This comprehensive approach ensures they areequipped not just for success in the traditional sense but for a rich, fulfilling life that aligns withtheir deepest values and aspirations. 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