Divorced parents made one surprising choice—and their kids never had to pack a bag again

When TikTok creator @sparklysusan shared a 30-second video about her unconventional post-divorce parenting setup, she opened a door for a conversation that many families didn’t even know they needed.

“In divorce, we decided to keep the kids in the house and have the parents switch back and forth,” Susan says in the May 29 video. “Every time I pack up my stuff and haul it to the car, I’m so thankful it’s me doing this instead of the kids.”

She and her ex have five children. Rather than have them rotate between two homes—a standard post-divorce custody arrangement—they chose what’s known as birdnesting: the children stay put in the family home while the parents alternate their time in and out.

“It was scary at first,” Susan explains, “figuring out the logistics, each finding a room to rent. But it was also way cheaper than two houses big enough for six people.”

And maybe most importantly, she adds: “Our kids’ lives are far less upset than if they had two rooms, two homes.”

The comment section became a therapy session—for a generation of divorced kids

The video exploded with over six million views and thousands of comments, many from adult children of divorce who shared that they wish someone had made a choice like this for them.

“Growing up with divorced parents and having to pack up and move every 5 days I can honestly say I love this,” @mvh.creations wrote. “I felt homeless as a kid, like I didn’t belong in either house, and what you’re doing for your kids brings my inner kid to tears.”

“As a child of divorce I can’t tell you how much better this would’ve made that transition,” added @Nori.

“This is what my parents did! I’m forever grateful for it,” @humankirk shared. “Being able to hold onto the physical space that was home when the rest of my life felt like it was being ripped apart was huge.”

“This shows the level of maturity between the two parties,” noted @JJEmber.

And perhaps the most direct expression of collective longing came from @BoosBooks:

“I have always thought this is how it should be done! Why should the kids’ lives be uprooted just because parents aren’t meant to be?”

But not everyone thinks it’s sustainable

Mixed in with the praise were questions—some thoughtful, some practical, and some clearly born from hard-earned experience.

“We did this for about a year,” shared @Kelly Carr. “Until I was the only one who cleaned or bought groceries the whole time. Just know, at some point you have to move on. The kids will be ok.”

“This will work until one of you starts dating someone serious,” added @happymelady on June 1.

Translation? Birdnesting can work beautifully—for a while. 

In Susan’s case, she notes in a comment that she and her ex meet once a week to handle “family admin,” and each parent has assigned weekdays (Susan: Monday–Tuesday, Josh: Wednesday–Thursday) with alternating weekends. Whoever spends the night is on morning duty, and handoffs happen after school drop-off.

Related: After getting divorced, two best friends moved in together—to raise six kids under one roof

So… should more families consider this?

Research shows that children thrive on routine—and that strong, ongoing relationships with both parents can be a powerful protective factor after divorce. A 2011 review in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage found that shared parenting arrangements, where kids spend at least 35% of their time with each parent, are often associated with positive emotional, behavioral, and physical outcomes. But those benefits may also depend on other factors, like parental cooperation, income, and home stability.

While birdnesting hasn’t been widely studied on its own, it shares key principles with shared parenting: minimizing disruption, preserving the child’s living environment, and maintaining strong bonds with both parents. 

What makes Susan’s story so resonant is how her logistical choice reflects a deep commitment to minimizing disruption for their kids.

“As someone who felt like they were only ‘visiting’ each house and could never unpack or actually ‘live’ in either house,” wrote @Violet, “YESS your kids will be so grateful (even if they don’t recognize it).”

Related: Gwyneth Paltrow shares thoughtful method she used to prepare her kids for her divorce

In a culture where divorced parents are often expected to “move on” and kids are expected to “adjust,” Susan’s post is a quiet rebellion—one that says: no, the kids shouldn’t have to carry the inconvenience of our choices. We can carry it for them.

Source:

1. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 2011. “Shared Parenting After Divorce: A Review of Shared Residential Parenting Research”