To the grandparentsâwe miss you *so* much right now

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The connection may be virtual right now, but it's not virtually impossible. Thank you, grandparents, for still supporting our familiesâeven from a distance.
My kids miss their grandparents on a regular basis. Theyâre obsessed with them in this completely beautiful, loving way. One set lives four hours south of us and the other set lives about three hours north. We all frequently talk about how we wished we lived closer so we could see each other more regularly because even though theyâre not super far (thank goodness), it still feels far enough.
Far enough to require planning visits in advance, packing our bags for those visits and sleeping over instead of opportunities for weekly family dinners or sneaking out for a midweek date night, free grandparent-babysitting included.
But even though we donât see each other daily, or weekly even, we all make significant efforts to visit consistently. We always have plans together on the horizon. Birthdays are celebrated in-person, plays or recitals attended and often when our kindergartener has time off from school, we pack up and either go to New York or Vermont to spend our free time with them.
Except right now. Right nowâeven though our kiddos are not going to schoolâwe canât just pack up and head north or south. Which has been confusing, and understandably emotional, for the kids.
Basically a lot of our conversations lately have gone something like this:
Child: âCan we go to Grandma and Grandpaâs house, pleeeeeeease?â
Me: âIâm sorry, honey, we canât right now. Remember how we talked about the germs going around? We have to stay home to keep safe.â
Child: âWell, when are the germs gonna be goneeeeeee?â
Me: âWe arenât sure. We just have to try to be patient.â
Child: âWhy canât we just go to Nana and Poppas nowwww?â
And after I side-step the whining, I want to burst into tears. Because I donât know. I donât know what to tell them exactly. I donât know when weâll see their grandparents again.
I simply donât know when this will be over.
And while the kids are used to frequent FaceTimes with Nana and Poppa to stay in touch and they know they have to go through stretches of time without visits from Grandma and Grandpa, theyâre not used to stretches this long or only having FaceTime as an option for connection.
Even though this is our new (and temporary) normal, it doesnât feel normal. The uncertainty isnât normal. Long periods of isolation isnât normal. Only being around each otherâand no one elseâisnât normal.
Celebrations that were planned and family visits that had been marked down in our calendars have been canceled and crossed out. Baptisms, birthday parties, Easter gatheringsâall gone.
This Easter, a time when we usually gather with at least one set of grandparents, will be celebrated by the five of us, in our home without any extended family members. Weâll still hunt for eggs and eat too much Easter candy, of courseâbut there will be a piece of our puzzle missing in the shape of a chocolate bunny from Poppa and a ricotta pie from Grandma.
We donât know when weâll be together in person again and itâs breaking our hearts.
Because they miss Grandma rubbing their back and earlobes (this is a true request) while she tells them bedtime stories.
They miss going on adventures to the farm with Grandpa.
They miss cuddling up with Nana on the couch for movie time.
They miss going on walks with Poppa to visit the ducks.
They miss smelling Grandmaâs meatballs and sauce cooking in the kitchen.
They miss building blocks with Grandpa in the living room.
They miss painting rocks with Nana at the kitchen table.
They miss Poppa sneaking them M&Mâs.
I canât help but pause and think to myself how lucky they are they get to miss these peopleâas strange as that sounds. Iâm so proud of the relationship they have with their grandparents, how close they all are, and I know this strange period of time could never take that away from them.
The other day, my father-in-law read about five books to my 2-year-old after she grabbed my phone and demanded, âGandma, Gandpa! Read book!â to me while dragging me over to her little fox chair in the corner. She plopped herself downâsnacks includedâand I adjusted the phone so she could see her Grandpaâs face as he started reading. She was proud as a pickle. Happy as a clam.
She knew this was an option, because last week Grandma did it, and the kids loved it.
So for now, weâll have virtual storytime instead of in-person bedtime stories.
Weâll have videos of Nana and Poppa reading and checking in with the kids instead of catching up under a cozy blanket on the couch.
Weâll talk on FaceTime over dinner at two different tables, chatting about our day instead of sharing a meal together at one.
Weâll have a Zoom Easter party virtually connecting under different roofs, instead of celebrating under the same one.
Weâll send colorful pictures or handwritten notes in the mail instead of delivering them with our own two hands.
Weâll figure it out. This is hard. But we can do hard things.
We can still laugh.
We can still see each otherâs faces, hear each otherâs voices.
And we can still stay in touch.
The connection may be virtual right now, but itâs not virtually impossible. Thank you, grandparents, for still supporting our familiesâeven from a distance.