4 reasons your call to a stay-at-home mom goes to voicemail

No, I don’t have a job, and no, I can’t pick up your phone call. Just text me. Ya feel me?

“Who are you, the president?”

It was my dad’s joking retort.

I’d just told him I had seven minutes to talk. I was about to turn into preschool car line, and I could tell he was about to launch into a long story.

“No,” I laughed. “But I can’t talk long!”

No, I don’t have a job. But no, I’m not always able to talk on the phone. My dad understands, but his silly remark made me think about it a little more.

And the more I thought about it, I realized it’s probably puzzling and maybe even downright annoying, those who don’t have young kids.

Why can’t you call me when you don’t even have a job? I’m sure they wonder.

And so, I’ll tell you.

1. It is loud around me ALL THE TIME.

Even during car rides, when all the kids are restrained. There are questions, requests, spills and fights. I can barely hear myself think, let alone form a sentence. I’ll text you. During nap time.

2. I’m not going to remember what we talk about.

This is why when our banker or realtor or accountant asks if they can call me back, I simply say, “Email is best for me. Can you email me instead?” I used to offer an explanation, but now I just don’t. And they email and then I save brain cells.

3. We will be interrupted every 30 seconds.

It’s not that my kids aren’t self-sufficient. In fact, for your information, they are actually quite independent for their ages. Our 11-month-old crawls to his favorite toys, our 2-year-old goes to the bathroom by himself and our 4-year-old can get his own water and snacks (thanks to my cupboard hack).

But still, they are all 4 years old and under. And so, they need a lot of assistance. Thus, phone convos with me will suck.

4. When I am alone, I don’t want to talk.

There is so much talking around me all day long. I explain. I teach. I correct. I encourage. And, I answer impossible questions, like “Is there grass in heaven?”

And so, in the rare (very rare) moments that I’m alone, I’m not going to be talking. I’m going to bathing in the luxurious, decadent, rich sound of nothingness. Silence. Quiet. Peace. (Either that or binge on Real Housewives. Either way, please text me.)

This is why I can’t call you. Even though I don’t have a job outside of wiping butts, making dinner and shaping lives. I’m just a stay-at-home mom who savors silence and whose short-term memory is shoddy at best.

You’re right, I don’t have a 9-to-5 job, and I’m not the president.

But I am the boss of three young kids who need a lot of assistance, and I happen to be the appointed official tasked with keeping them alive.

If you want to call me The Queen, that’s fine.

But just do it through text.

And I’ll send a heart-eyed emoji back at ya. ?

This article was originally published on She Just Glows.

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When expecting a baby, there is a lot you can test-run in advance: Take that stroller around the block. Go for a spin with the car seat secured in place. Learn how to use the baby carrier with help from a doll. But breastfeeding? It's not exactly possible to practice before baby's arrival.

The absence of a trial makes it all the more important to prepare in other ways for breastfeeding success—and it can be as simple as adding a few of our lactation aiding favorites to your registry.

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MilkBliss lactation cookies

Studies have shown the top reason women stop breastfeeding within the first year is because they are concerned about their milk supply being enough to nourish baby. Consider MilkBliss Lactation Cookies to be your secret weapon. Not only are they wholesome and delicious, but they were formulated specifically for breastfeeding moms based on the science of galactagogues—also known as milk boosters. They also come in peanut butter and wild blueberry flavors.


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Belly Bandit bandita nursing bra

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Boob Ease soothing therapy pillows

For nursing moms, duct can quickly become a four-letter word when you suspect it's getting clogged. By keeping these soothing breast pillows in your breastfeeding arsenal, you can immediately go on the defense against plugged milk ducts by heating the pads in the microwave or cooling them in the freezer.


Belly Bandit perfect nursing tee

Belly Bandit perfect nursing tee

A unfortunate reality of nursing is that it can really seem to limit the wardrobe options when you have to think about providing easy, discrete access. But by adding functional basics to your closet, you can feel confident and prepared for breastfeeding on the go.


Bebe au Lait premium cotton nursing cover

Bebe au Lait cotton nursing cover

Nursing in public isn't every mama's cup of tea. But babies can't always wait until you've found a private place to get down to business if that's your preference. That's where a nursing cover comes in handy. This one is made from premium cotton and features a patented neckline that allows for airflow and eye contact even while you're covered.


Lactation Lab basic breastmilk testing kit

Lactation Lab breastmilk testing kit

Curious to learn more about the liquid gold you're making, mama? The testing kit from Lactation Labs analyzes your breast milk for basic nutritional content like calories and protein, as well as vitamins, fatty acids and environmental toxins to help boost your breastfeeding confidence.


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Why do all of my good parenting or baby-focused inventions come after they've already been invented by someone else? Sigh.

Like the Puj hug hooded baby towel, aka the handiest, softest cotton towel ever created.

Safely removing a wet, slippery baby from the bath can be totally nerve-wracking, and trying to hold onto a towel at the same time without soaking it in the process seems to require an extra arm altogether. It's no wonder so much water ends up on the floor, the countertops, or you(!) after bathing your little one. Their splashing and kicking in the water is beyond adorable, of course, but the clean up after? Not as much.

It sounds simple: Wash your child, sing them a song or two, let them play with some toys, then take them out, place a towel around them, and dry them off. Should be easy, peasy, lemon squeezy, right?

But it hasn't been. It's been more—as one of my favorite memes says—difficult, difficult, lemon difficult. Because until this towel hit the bathtime scene, there was no easy-peasy way to pick up your squirming wet baby without drenching yourself and/or everything around you.

Plus, there is nothing cuter than a baby in a plush hooded towel, right? Well, except when it's paired with a dry, mess-free floor, maybe.

Check out our favorites to make bathtime so much easier:

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