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Talia Goldstein and her oldest (Max) via Facebook
Work + Money

This dating startup founder + new mama is breaking the ‘rules’ and rocking it

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Motherly @ Work features the stories and insights of modern women growing their careers—and their families.

Dating is hard. Like, really hard. Sometimes it seems like you have to suffer your way through a million frogs to find your prince.

Online dating has been around for a while now, and though it provides the means to meet, and date, those who are “compatible” with you, it’s still a slog. Often it takes hundreds of dates to find someone that you really click with. And that can take months, or even years.

What happens when you want to turn dating norms on their head? What if you don’t want to suffer through the awkward beer burpers and too-long huggers?

Enter Three Day Rule, a mix of traditional and algorithm-based matchmaking that believes antiquated notions like the “three day rule” shouldn’t apply today. What does apply today? For the site’s users: A digital matchmaker to help make a human connection behind the online profile.

In 2013, the woman behind the new app, Talia Goldstein, looked around her and realized that she was surrounded by smart, successful, attractive friends who were stumped at how to find love. Even in the world of online dating. Even though they were all “great catches.”

Hearing her tell it, you can almost hear the “ding” of the lightbulb moment. These people needed help. Partnership, love, and the end of pointless blind dates was a dream that shouldn’t be a fantasy. And she would be the one to make it their reality.

Mom to two beautiful children, Max (3) and Eloise (9 months), Talia juggles work and family in the same way she started her company : with ingenuity and grace.

Seen on CNN, Fast Company, Fortune, Good Morning America, Refinery 29, LA Times and the Washington Post (among other), Three Day Rule is taking the dating world by storm, and helping people find love. Now, with 400% revenue growth in 2015, Three Day Rule is launching in its eighth city with the praises of hundreds of successful matches to back them up.

Disrupting an established industry isn’t easy. How did Talia do it?

So, dating sites and matchmakers have been around for a long time. What makes Three Day Rule different?

Talia Goldstein: We’re a unique hybrid of in-person matchmaking, which has been around forever, and a modern, tech-enabled company, so we use a blend of both intuition and data to help our clients find their perfect match. We also work with clients who are actually ready for a real, lasting relationship, so the mindset is quite different from many of the dating sites and apps out there.

We work with men and women who are smart, successful professionals, who simply do not have time to spend on those sites. We provide a concierge service and help people “outsource” their love lives – we spend hours and hours finding their match, so they don’t have to. Additionally, our matchmakers are all incredible people, who have had successful careers and left them to follow their passion for helping people find love. We do this because we genuinely and authentically love to match singles, and we’re really good at it too.

In such an established industry, how did you know that something needed to change?

Talia Goldstein: A few years ago, I started hosting singles events for fun. My first event had about 20 people and within months, the parties grew to 600 people. At one event at The London Hotel in West Hollywood, I looked around and noticed that all of the guests were successful & attractive but, for some reason, were having trouble finding love. It occurred to me that something was missing in the market so I quit my job in television and launched a matchmaking company.

What made you think that you were the one to do it?

Talia Goldstein: I had built a reputation at work for being the office matchmaker. I was setting my co-workers up left and right. My department was in on the secret, and then other departments started appearing at my cubicle for dating advice and to be set-up. After successfully matching a number of couples, I realized that I had a special talent for matchmaking.

Is stepping outside the box scary?

Talia Goldstein: Yes it is. However, I think the reason that I felt comfortable stepping outside the box was because I had a strong support system. I knew that if I failed, I would still be loved.

That sounds simple, but I think that played a big role in my decision to take the leap of faith, quit my job, and start my own business. Nobody judged me or wanted me to fail. Everyone around me rooted for me, would show up at events, and be there for me through thick and thin. Knowing that you can never really fail because you have people who support you is really liberating as a business owner. And best of all, these people are also the ones who continue to motivate me to succeed.

Where did you find your confidence to start your own business, and live life as an entrepreneur?

Talia Goldstein: Growing up, I was never the best at anything. I always had to work harder than others to achieve what I wanted—to make the varsity tennis team, to be student body president, or to learn a language. And because of that, I learned how to hustle in order to see success.

There are a lot of entrepreneurs who have things come easily to them—whether it’s resources or capital or innate skills, but I’m not one of those people. Because I knew that hard work does pay off, I was confident that I could get from point A to B by hustling, and that it would translate into success. That knowledge, combined with the support from my friends and family, gave me the confidence to start my own business.

What has been the response to this new way of finding a partner?

Talia Goldstein: The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Dating has changed so much over the last few years and in many ways has become harder and more confusing. Our clients are so grateful to have a matchmaker by their side. We help people navigate the treacherous dating world as matchmakers, but we are often also coaches, friends, and more to our clients.

Our matchmakers get to know our clients really well, so the clients know their matchmaker has their back. The matchmaker learns what their client is looking for in a match, and the matchmaker goes out and finds that for them. She goes to events, scours our database, and sets up many, many in-person coffee chats to get to know the potential matches before she sets up a client. It’s sort of like having a good friend go on all your first dates for you, and only sending you the best ones.

We save our clients time, energy, and a lot of the emotional exhaustion that goes into finding a match, and they always end up referring their friends to us, so we know they are loving what we do.

Have you had naysayers?

Talia Goldstein: There are people who believe in the traditional way of finding love—meeting at a party or through a close friend. However, the majority of singles these days are open to finding love through online dating or matchmaking. In fact, 1 in 3 marriages in the past five years now come from dating sites and services!

Some people also initially say they wouldn’t pay for matchmaking, but when they find out how incredible our matchmakers are, how wonderful the matches can be, and how simple we make the entire process, they are swayed, and ultimately many of these people end up becoming clients.

Why do you think innovation and ingenuity are important in business?

Talia Goldstein: Matchmaking is an ancient profession and it comes from an innate human need, which means that it’s ripe for innovation.

Technology is important because it helps us streamline something that has historically taken years and years, and it helps us be better at what we do every single day. In the dating industry, you have to keep innovating, because people continue to want to find love, and the competition can be fierce, but at the end of the day, innovation is about keeping things simple—how can we help people find real love in a crazy world—and solving that puzzle is one of the most rewarding challenges in the world.

How does being a mother affect the way you run your business?

Talia Goldstein: Being a mother is a daily inspiration. My children inspire me to succeed because I want to set an example for them. They also give me perspective. Start-up life is a roller coaster ride and on the not-so-great days, my children help lift up my spirits. Having children also gives you a more forward-thinking perspective so that you think about the future a lot more. I find myself asking these types of questions: How can I create a world that I would want my children to live in? How can I leave the world a better place than how I found it?

Is there any one piece of advice you’d give to aspiring lady bosses?

Talia Goldstein: Don’t be afraid to jump off the cliff. Taking risks can be really intimidating, especially for young women, but I wish I had done it sooner. Quitting my traditional job seemed scary at the time, but it really wasn’t. Often we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to take a traditional career path, but if it’s not right, follow your passion. Ultimately, doing what your heart tells you can seem quite risky, but it pays off ten-fold.

What does the word “motherly” mean to you?

Talia Goldstein: Nurturing, gentle, kind and loving. Making someone feel loved no matter what.

To take control of your own love life (or that of a friend!), visit Three Day Rule and connect with one of their matchmakers.

Haley Campbell is the founder of Beluga Baby and creator of the ultimate bamboo baby carrier. She is a regular contributor to Motherly and is an avid advocate for entrepreneurs, and for the new generation of mothers making the world their own.

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We spend a lot of time prepping for the arrival of a baby. But when it comes to the arrival of our breast milk (and all the massive adjustments that come with it), it's easy to be caught off guard. Stocking up on a few breastfeeding essentials can make the transition to breastfeeding a lot less stressful, which means more time and energy focusing on what's most important: Your recovery and your brand new baby.

Here are the essential breastfeeding tools you'll need, mama:

1. For covering up: A cute nursing cover

First and foremost, please know that all 50 states in the United States have laws that allow women to breastfeed in public. You do not have to cover yourself if you don't want to—and many mamas choose not to—and we are all for it.

That said, if you do anticipate wanting to take a more modest approach to breastfeeding, a nursing cover is a must. You will find an array of styles to choose from, but we love an infinity scarf, like the LK Baby Infinity Nursing Scarf Nursing Cover. You'll be able to wear the nursing cover instead of stuffing it in your already brimming diaper bag—and it's nice to have it right there when the baby is ready to eat.

Also, in the inevitable event that your baby spits-up on you or you leak some milk through your shirt, having a quick and stylish way to cover up is a total #momwin.

2. For getting comfortable: A cozy glider

Having a comfy spot to nurse can make a huge difference. Bonus points if that comfy place totally brings a room together, like the Delta Children Paris Upholstered Glider!

Get your cozy space ready to go, and when your baby is here, you can retreat from the world and just nurse, bond, and love.

3. For unmatched support: A wire-free nursing bra

It may take trying on several brands to find the perfect match, but finding a nursing bra that you love is 100% worth the effort. Your breasts will be changing and working in ways that are hard to imagine. An excellent supportive bra will make this so much more comfortable.

It is crucial to choose a wireless bra for the first weeks of nursing since underwire can increase the risk of clogged ducts (ouch).The Playtex Maternity Shaping Foam Wirefree Nursing Bra is an awesome pick for this reason, and because it is designed to flex and fit your breasts as they go through all those changes.

4. For maximum hydration: A large reusable water bottle

Nothing can prepare you for the intense thirst that hits when breastfeeding. Quench that thirst (and help keep your milk supply up in the process) by always having a water bottle with a straw nearby, like this Exquis Large Outdoor Water Bottle.

5. For feeding convenience: A supportive nursing tank

Experts recommend that during the first weeks of your baby's life, you breastfeed on-demand, meaning that any time your tiny boss demands milk, you feed them. This will help establish your milk supply and get everything off to a good start.

What does this mean for your life? You will be breastfeeding A LOT. Nursing tanks, like the Loving Moments by Leading Lady, make this so much easier. They have built-in support to keep you comfy, and you can totally wear them around the house, or even out and about. When your baby wants to eat, you'll be able to quickly "pop out" a breast and feed them.

6. For pain prevention: A quality nipple ointment

Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt, but the truth is those first days can be uncomfortable. Your nipples will likely feel raw as they adjust to their new job. This will get better! But until it does, nipple ointment is amazing.

My favorite is the Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter. We love that it's organic, and it is oh-so-soothing on your hard-at-work nipples.

Psst: If it actually hurts when your baby latches on, something may be up, so call your provider or a lactation consultant for help.

7. For uncomfortable moments: A dual breast therapy pack

As your breasts adjust to their new role, you may experience a few discomforts—applying warmth or cold can help make them feel so much better. The Lansinoh TheraPearl 3-in-1 Breast Therapy Pack is awesome because you can microwave the pads or put them in the freezer, giving you a lot of options when your breasts need some TLC.

Again, if you have any concerns about something being wrong (pain, a bump that may be red or hot, fever, or anything else), call a professional right away.

8. For inevitable leaks: An absorbing breast pad

In today's episode of, "Oh come on, really?" you are going to leak breastmilk. Now, this is entirely natural and you are certainly not required to do anything about this. Still, many moms choose to wear breast pads in their bras to avoid leaking through to their shirts.

You can go the convenient and disposable route with Lansinoh Disposable Stay Dry Nursing Pads, or for a more environmentally friendly option, you can choose washable pads, like these Organic Bamboo Nursing Breast Pads.

9. For flexibility: A breast pump

Many women find that a breast pump becomes one of their most essential mom-tools. The ability to provide breast milk when you are away from your baby (and relieve uncomfortable engorged breasts) will add so much flexibility into your new-mom life.

For quick trips out and super-easy in-your-bag transport, opt for a manual pump like the Lansinoh Manual Breast Pump .

If you will be away from your baby for longer periods of time (traveling or working outside the home, for example) an electric pump is your most efficient bet. The Medela Pump In Style Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump is a classic go-to that will absolutely get the job done, and then some.

10. For quality storage: Breast milk bags

Once you pump your liquid gold, aka breast milk, you'll need a place to store it. The Kiinde Twist Pouches allow you to pump directly into the bags which means one less step (and way less to clean).

11. For keeping cool: A freezer bag

Transport your pumped milk back home to your baby safely in a cooler like the Mommy Knows Best Breast Milk Baby Bottle Cooler Bag. Remember to put the milk in a fridge or freezer as soon as you can to optimize how long it stays usable for.

12. For continued nourishment: Bottles

Nothing beats the peace of mind you get when you know that your baby is being well-taken of care—and well fed—until you can be together again. The Philips Avent Natural Baby Bottle Newborn Starter Gift Set is a fan favorite (mama and baby fans alike).

This article is sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.


A viral video about car seat safety has parents everywhere cracking up and humming Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

"I like safe kids and I cannot lie," raps Norman Regional Health System pediatric hospitalist Dr. Kate Cook (after prefacing her music video with an apology to her children."I'm a doctor tryin' warn you that recs have changed," she continues.

Dr. Cook's rap video is all about the importance of keeping babies facing backward. It's aptly called "Babies Face Back," and uses humor and parody to drive home car seat recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

"Switching from rear-facing to forward-facing is a milestone many parents can't wait to reach," Dr. Cook said in a news release about her hilarious video. "But this is one area where you want to delay the transition as long as possible because each one actually reduces the protection to the child."

Last summer the AAP updated its official stance on car seat safety to be more in line with what so many parents were already doing and recommended that kids stay rear-facing for as long as possible. But with so many things to keep track of in life, it is understandable that some parents still don't know about the change. Dr. Cook wants to change that with some cringe-worthy rapping.

The AAP recommends:

  • Babies and toddlers should ride in a rear-facing car safety seat as long as possible, until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their seat.
  • Once they are facing forward, children should use a forward-facing car safety seat with a harness for as long as possible. Many seats are good up to 65 pounds.
  • When children outgrow their car seat they should use a belt-positioning booster seat until the vehicle's lap and shoulder seat belt fits properly, between 8 and 12 years old.

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[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

Suicide rates for girls and women in the United States have increased 50% since 2000, according to the CDC and new research indicates a growing number of pregnant and postpartum women are dying by suicide and overdose. Suicide rates for boys and men are up, too.

It's clear there is a mental health crisis in America and it is robbing children of their mothers and mothers of their children.

Medical professionals urge people to get help early, but sometimes getting help is not so simple. For many Americans, the life preserver that is mental health care is out of reach when they are drowning.

Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg just released a plan he hopes could change that and says the neglect of mental health in the United States must end. "Our plan breaks down the barriers around mental health and builds up a sense of belonging that will help millions of suffering Americans heal," says Buttigieg.

He thinks he can "prevent 1 million deaths of despair by 2028" by giving Americans more access to mental health and addictions services.

In a country where giving birth can put a mother in debt, it's not surprising that while as many as 1 in 5 new moms suffers from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, more than half of new moms who need mental health treatment don't get it. Stigma, childcare and of course costs are factors in why women aren't seeking help when they are struggling.

Buttigieg's plan is interesting because it could remove some of these barriers. He wants to make mental health care more affordable by ensuring everyone has comprehensive coverage for mental health care and by ensuring that everyone can access a free yearly mental health check-up.

That could make getting help more affordable for some moms, and by increasing reimbursement rates for mental health care delivered through telehealth, this plan could help moms get face time with a medical professional without having to deal with finding childcare first.

Estimates from new research suggest that in some parts of America as many as 14% or 30% of maternal deaths are caused by addiction or suicide. Buttigieg's plan aims to reduce those estimates by fighting the addiction and opioid crisis and increasing access to mental health services in underserved communities and for people of color. He also wants to reduce the stigma and increase support for the next generation by requiring "every school across the country to teach Mental Health First Aid courses."

These are lofty goals with a lofty price tag. It would cost about $300 billion to do what Buttigieg sets out in his plan and the specifics of how the plan would be funded aren't yet known. Neither is how voters will react to this 18-page plan and whether it will help Buttigieg stand out in a crowded field of Democratic candidates.

What we do know is that right now, America is talking about mental health and whether or not that benefits Buttigieg's campaign it will certainly benefit America.

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[Editor's Note: Welcome to It's Science, a Motherly column focusing on evidence-based explanations for the important moments, milestones, and phenomena of motherhood. Because it's not just you—#itsscience.]

If you breastfeed, you know just how magical (and trying) it is, but it has numerous benefits for mama and baby. It is known to reduce the likelihood of developing cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis, and cuts the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by half.

If this wasn't powerful enough, scientists have discovered that babies who are fed breast milk have a stomach pH that promotes the formation of HAMLET (Human Alpha-lactalbumin Made Lethal to Tumor cells). HAMLET was discovered by chance when researchers were studying the antibacterial properties of breast milk. This is a combination of proteins and lipids found in breast milk that can work together to kill cancer cells, causing them to pull away from healthy cells, shrink and die, leaving the healthy cells unaffected.

According to researchers at Lund University in Sweden, this mechanism may contribute to the protective effect breast milk has against pediatric tumors and leukemia, which accounts for about 30% of all childhood cancer. Other researchers analyzed 18 different studies, finding that "14% to 19% of all childhood leukemia cases may be prevented by breastfeeding for six months or more."

And recently, doctors in Sweden collaborated with scientists in Prague to find yet another amazing benefit to breast milk. Their research demonstrated that a certain milk sugar called Alpha1H, found only in breast milk, helps in the production of lactose and can transform into a different form that helps break up tumors into microscopic fragments in the body.

Patients who were given a drug based on this milk sugar, rather than a placebo, passed whole tumor fragments in their urine. And there is more laboratory evidence to support that the drug can kill more than 40 different types of cancer cells in animal trials, including brain tumors and colon cancer. These results are inspiring scientists to continue to explore HAMLET as a novel approach to tumor therapy and make Alpha1H available to cancer patients.

Bottom line: If you choose to breastfeed, the breast milk your baby gets from your hard work can be worth every drop of effort.

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