When you say stay-at-home-moms ‘do nothing’. . . 😭

To some, the daily work of motherhood might be “nothing,” but to me it’s everything.

When you say stay-at-home-moms ‘do nothing’. . . 😭

I’ll never forget the morning at kindergarten drop-off when my jaw hit the playground floor beneath me.

I was going about my chaotic morning as usual. Getting my oldest to her line-up at school, while toting along her two younger brothers and making sure we had all lunches and backpacks.

Once I finally got to school, I ran into a fellow parent in the class, someone I knew was a working mom, who turned to me and said,

“Wow, you have three kids under five! Do you work? Or do you stay home and do nothing?”

Jaw --> floor.

DO NOTHING?! I was too shocked to say much. DO NOTHING?! I thought, my mind reeling from the list of tasks and responsibilities I managed each and every day. DO NOTHING?! I raged inside, wondering if she had ever watched kids all day.

Trying to justify the unwarranted attack on being a stay-home-mom, I replied by referencing my career before kids and how I chose to stay home at this point in my life.

Whether you are a working mother or stay-home, the job of being a mother is one of the toughest things you will ever do. I thought for sure all moms would understand that.

To some, the daily work of motherhood might be “nothing,” but to me it’s everything.

I’m not “doing nothing” when I wake up before dawn with a cranky child, giving up precious sleep that I need to sustain me through a long, solo day.

I’m not “doing nothing” when I make breakfast, followed by a snack, and clean up all said meals and snacks that occur constantly.

I’m not “doing nothing” when I enrich my little people by taking them to local classes, concerts and parks.

I’m not “doing nothing” when I am paying the bills and fixing all the things that keep breaking around the house.

I’m not “doing nothing” when I’m juggling nursing, feeding and napping schedules without feeling trapped at home.

I’m not “doing nothing”when I’m tending to sibling disputes and quarrels. (If only we got paid for every time we say, “Keep your hands to yourself.”)

I’m not “doing nothing” when I make constant, futile attempts to keep the house actually clean and my floors toy-free for more than a few hours.

I’m not “doing nothing” when we’re playing games, trains, puzzles and reading books to keep those small brains engaged.

I’m not “doing nothing” when I’m shuttling kids to and from school, then to dance and music lessons, before squeezing in a quick dinner before a sporting event.

In fact, all day long I am doing the hard work of parenthood.

I am 100% fine that my fellow class mom spends her days at the office supporting her family financially. Some days I might envy her. But instead of attacking or demeaning other mothers, why can’t we mamas simply be supportive of each other?

Aren’t we all in this together, no matter whether you chose to work or stay home?

I have worked paying jobs before, but to be honest, staying home can be HARDER than going to an office with reasonable and well-behaved adults. I mean, how often does a co-worker demand a donut and throw themselves on the ground of a store having a tantrum?

Stay-home-moms do the opposite of nothing. In fact, these moms help keep their households running, create value, often save money and build the foundation of their families by raising their little ones. It’s really no small feat what goes into the everyday of a stay-home-mom.

They might not have a conference call with any Fortune 500 CEOs, but they are leading their families and homes and deserve respect for all they do.

While it may not all be fancy or require work-attire, the daily work of a stay-home-mom should be appreciated and acknowledged, instead of judged and dismissed.

Many working parents may off-load some of these daily tasks with the help of a cleaning lady or meal delivery and that’s great. Mothers need to make life work for them and figure out the best way to get it all done.

To those who pass judgment on those who stay home, please realize: nobody ever really knows the situations and sacrifices that other families make on a daily basis.

Personally, my choice to stay-home comes with the reality of living off one income instead of two, so it also adds to my list finding ways to save money and live economically so I can be home with my kids.

So when I look at each day of my life as a stay-home-mom, I literally can’t tell you the last time I did “nothing.” Instead, I choose to validate my daily contribution as a stay-home-mom as equally important as those of a working mother.

To the mom who wrongly accused me of doing “nothing,” let’s all step back and see that everyone is doing the best they can, through different avenues and choices, but ultimately is doing what’s best for their own families.

Stay-at-home moms included.

10 must-have registry items that will change your life, mama

The baby gear heavy hitters that should be top of your list

Calling all mamas-to-be! It's a fundamental truth of (impending) motherhood that your prepping-for-baby To Do list can feel a mile long, but really the best way to feel organized is to sort out the most important item at the top of your list: your registry. Sure the items you choose to include will end up running the gamut from nice-to-haves to absolutely essential game-changers, but mamas in the know quickly learn one thing: Not all baby gear is created equal.

So while you can and should pepper your registry with adorable inclusions that aren't necessarily can't-live-withouts (go ahead, add 'em!), you should make sure you're ticking the boxes on those pieces of baby gear that can be absolute life savers once you're in full-blown mama mode. From car seats to bouncers and playmats, your play and travel gear will be some of the most obvious important items on your list, but so can unexpected things, like a super comfy baby carrier and a snooze-inducing white noise machine. So to help you sort through the must-have options, we turned to the holy grail of motherhood that is buybuy BABY and handpicked 10 of the very best essential pieces that will change your life, we promise.

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Our Partners

Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Earth Mama: Effective, natural herbal care for mamas and babies

Founded and grown in her own garage in 2002, Earth Mama started as an operation of one, creating salves, tinctures, teas and soaps with homegrown herbs. With a deep desire to bring the healing powers of nature that have been relied on for thousands of years to as many mamas as possible, Melinda Olson's formulas quickly grew into Earth Mama Organics. Since then, the brand has remained committed to manufacturing clean, safe and effective herbal solutions for the entire journey of motherhood, including pregnancy, breastfeeding and baby care, and even the loss of a baby.

Bravado Designs: Soothing sounds for a good night's sleep

With 28 years of serving pregnant and postpartum mamas under their belt, Bravado Designs is a true authority on the needs of changing bodies. It's true that we have them to thank for rescuing us from the uncomfortable and frumpy designs our own moms had to live with. Launched in Canada by two young mamas, they designed the first prototypes with extra leopard print fabric certain that a better bra was possible. Throughout the years they've maintained their commitment to ethical manufacturing while creating long-lasting products that truly work.

The Sill: Instagram-ready potted plants

We've long admired this female-founded brand and the brilliant mind behind it, Eliza Blank. (She even joined Motherly co-founder Liz Tenety on and episode of The Motherly Podcast!) The mission behind the business was simple: To make the process of bringing plants into your home as easy as possible, and as wonderful as the plant themselves. With their in-house, exclusively designed minimalist planters, the end result makes plant parenthood just a few clicks away.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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The 6 biggest lies I believed before having kids

Just about all of us had set assumptions about raising kids before we became parents ourselves.

Just about all of us had set assumptions about raising kids before we became parents ourselves. Some of these ideas might have been based on our own ideas of how we would absolutely do things differently than everyone else. Others, we believed what everyone else told us would happen would apply to our littles, too. But, that's not always the case, mama.

Below are six of the biggest lies I believed before having kids—and the reality of what actually happened for me.

1. Put your baby down drowsy, but awake

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