The no. 1 way a former nanny gets toddlers to listen
Credit: @everydaycamilla on tiktok
Parents are trying a “gossip voice” script from a 10-year nanny—and experts explain why playful, buddy-style talk can flip toddler resistance into cooperation.
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It starts with a whisper.
In a now-viral TikTok, Camilla (a mother and former nanny with over a decade of toddler-wrangling experience) leans down and lowers her voice like she’s about to spill the juiciest secret:
“Come here… this is so annoying, but we’ve got to clean up this living room. *eye roll* …Let’s see if we can do it really quickly, and then, when we’ve cleaned up, let’s get some juice and go sit on the porch.”
The internet erupted. Parents flooded the comments with promises to try the trick tonight.
Related: Is your toddler’s behavior normal or cause for concern? Here’s how to tell
“You’re literally convincing me to do it lol” – @zinababyy
“Sometimes being honest with your kid and just saying, “Look I don’t want to do this either but it has to be done.” Is the best way to get them to cooperate.” – @the.sam.b
“gonna try this with my husband too 🥲😀🫶🏼” – @cornskki
This simple tweak—switching from a top-down “command” to a side-by-side “confidante voice”—is resonating because it makes kids feel like teammates, not subordinates.
Related: 4 ways to support challenging behavior in kids, from a Speech Language Pathologist
Why the “gossip voice” works
Child development experts say toddlers respond better when they feel connected rather than controlled. Whispering or playful “buddy-style” talk engages curiosity, reduces power struggles, and supports co-regulation, helping children manage emotions while still following directions.
Research on playful parenting and co-regulation shows that using a low-pressure, game-like approach can increase cooperation, reduce tantrums, and strengthen parent-child relationships. By inviting children into a shared activity instead of issuing commands, parents create a sense of partnership that encourages compliance naturally.
Related: Mama’s little helper:How to promote helping behavior in your toddler
For example:
- Connection before direction: Engage first with empathy and play.
- Playful tone: Whisper, confide, or frame tasks as a shared secret.
- Clear, simple steps: Give structure alongside fun to prevent confusion.
This approach is supported by studies in early childhood development emphasizing that emotional regulation and cooperative behavior are more likely to emerge when children feel safe, heard, and included in the process.
Try these “copy-paste” lines at home
Here are a few ways parents are adapting Camilla’s script:
- Clean-up time: “Ugh, the toys are everywhere. Let’s be super fast so we can have snack on the porch.”
- Teeth brushing: “Shhh… pretend we’re spies brushing away the candy bugs before they report back.”
- Leaving the park: “Hey, I’ve got a secret—first one to the car gets to pick the music.
Related: Shaming a child for behavior doesn’t work—here’s what does
The reality check
Of course, no parenting hack works 100% of the time. If your child is overtired, hungry, or overstimulated, no amount of whispered “best tea” will move the needle. Meeting basic needs comes first.
For neurodivergent kids who may struggle with abstract or playful language, experts recommend pairing the playful voice with visual cues (like a picture of teeth for brushing) or clear, concrete steps.
Related: 4 positive parenting choices to make today to prevent ‘bad’ behavior
The Motherly takeaway
Think of it as a formula:
Connection before correction + Make it a secret/game + End with a small reward = smoother transitions, less struggle.
Sometimes, the tiniest script shift is what turns “do it now!” into “let’s do this together.”
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