13 supportive words of encouragement for moms (that actually help)
Dani Moran
Every mom, from the brand-new one still figuring out the car seat to the veteran wrangling a teenager’s attitude, deserves to hear that she’s doing a good job.
Some days, motherhood feels like running a marathon you didn’t train for—on no sleep, with a tiny human screaming at you about the wrong color cup. We’ve all had those moments where we lock ourselves in the bathroom for 30 seconds of peace or cry in the pantry over something that, in hindsight, wasn’t really about the spilled milk at all.
On those days, the right words of encouragement for moms can shift everything. Not a lecture, not advice, not a Pinterest quote on a sunset background. Just a few honest words from someone who gets it can serve as a reminder that you’re not failing, you’re just in the thick of it.
Maybe you’re searching for what to say to a new mom in your life who looks like she’s barely holding it together (she is, and she’s doing it beautifully). Maybe you’re the one who needs someone to say these things to you. Either way, these are the phrases that actually land and make you exhale instead of cringe.
Because every mom, from the brand-new one still figuring out the car seat to the veteran wrangling a teenager’s attitude, deserves to hear that she’s doing a good job. So here are 13 words of encouragement for moms that we all need on repeat.
1. “You are doing a great job.”
Every mom knows that what we do every day is hard work. Some may argue that it’s the hardest job in the world (it is definitely the hardest job I have ever had). It feels great when someone else recognizes your effort and acknowledges that we are doing it well.
2. “All your kids need is for you to love them.”
There is so much pressure that society puts on mothers and pressure that we put on ourselves, to do everything that our kids need. But the reality is, all our kids really need is for us to love them as best we can. That is it. When you’re having a tough day, don’t worry if you are giving them too much screen time or not enough vegetables, remind yourself that you’re loving them with your whole heart—and sometimes that reminder is enough.
3. “You are doing better than you think you are.”
Everyone has bad days. But even on your worst days, you are most likely handling motherhood way better than you think. Take a step back and just focus on what you are doing, rather than what you feel like you are not doing.
4. “It’s okay if you feel like you’re losing it sometimes.”
Kids will do that to you! There will be moments as a mother when you do not feel particularly proud of your behavior. At times, you may feel like you have no control and it’s normal to feel this way. It happens to the best of us. Use this as your reminder to pause and make sure you are making space for yourself in this busy life.
5. “No one is as perfect as they seem on social media.”
This is a big one for me. While I will admit that I get caught up in the world of social media, it is so important to be able to separate that out from reality. I personally don’t often post those moments when I just yelled at my child or was unkind to my husband for no reason. So why would I assume that anyone else is? Just because we don’t see others having these moments, does not mean they are not happening.
6. “Do you need a break?”
Self-care is essential for everyone, but as a mom, I can’t survive without it. Take a long shower when your partner gets home or when you get home from work, grab a cup of coffee with a friend or go on a date with your spouse. Taking a break from your children will allow you to return to them with a better capacity to give them what they need.
7. “It’s okay if you don’t ‘love every moment.'”
I don’t love the sleepless nights, the fussing and the times that my son looks me straight in the eye and does the exact thing I just told him not to. The list actually goes on and on. This does not make me a bad mom. It makes me human. Same goes for you, mama.
8. “You are not alone.”
One of the best things about motherhood (outside of our extraordinary kids of course) is the community of other moms that exist out there. I think it is pretty safe to say that for everything you have felt as a mom, there is another mother who will be able to relate to it. Knowing that other mamas have walked this exact same path before you is an incredibly powerful tool in getting through those tough moments.
9. “Trust your instincts.”
There are so many conflicting opinions out there about what we should and should not be doing when it comes to raising our children. And while a lot of those opinions are based on research, none of them are based on your child. You know your child better than any expert or professional out there.
10. “You are the exact parent your child needs.”
I read this quote by Rachel Marie Martin of “Finding Joy” that said, “Today in an auditorium full of parents, my son scanned the room looking for me. When he saw me, his face lit up the room. He wasn’t looking for the perfect parent. He was looking for his mom.” It is such an important reminder that our kids do not care one bit about all of the little things that we feel make up the “perfect” parent. They just care that we are theirs.
11. “You don’t have to figure it all out today.”
If you’re wondering what to say to a new mom who’s deep in the fourth trimester fog, this is it. New motherhood comes with a fire hose of decisions—feeding schedules, sleep strategies, pediatrician visits, the seemingly impossible task of keeping another human alive while also remembering to feed yourself. It can feel like you need to have a plan for all of it right now.
You don’t. You really, really don’t. Motherhood is not a test you can cram for. Most of it gets figured out in real time, one messy day at a time, and that’s completely fine. Give yourself permission to not have answers yet. The answers will come, probably at 3 a.m. while you’re Googling something weird, but they’ll come.
12. “You’re not alone in this.”
New motherhood can be shockingly isolating. You’re surrounded by people cooing over the baby, but sometimes it feels like nobody’s checking on you. The 2 a.m. feeds, the worry that you’re doing something wrong, the weird grief you feel for your old life even though you love this new one—all of it can make you feel like you’re the only person on the planet going through it.
You are categorically not. Every single mom you see at the grocery store, at school drop-off, scrolling her phone at the playground has felt some version of what you’re feeling. Every. single. one. The best words of encouragement for moms aren’t always grand or poetic. Sometimes it’s just knowing that the mom next to you in the carpool line has cried in her car too, and she turned out just fine.
13. “Your baby is lucky to have you.”
Not a perfect version of you. Not the version of you that meal-preps on Sundays and always has clean burp cloths. You, right now, exactly as you are. The one who stayed up all night worrying. The one who second-guesses herself at the pediatrician’s office. The one who cried because breastfeeding was harder than anyone told her it would be. That version of you is doing something extraordinary: showing up, every single day, for a tiny person who needs you more than anyone else in the world. Your baby doesn’t need a mom who has it all together. Your baby needs their mom. And that’s you. This is one of the most powerful things you can say to a new mom—or remind yourself on the days when imposter syndrome starts creeping in.
Remind yourself of all the wonderful things you are doing for your children and how important it is that you are in their lives. And if you see a fellow mom struggling—we all know what that looks like because we’ve all been there—pass along some of these words of encouragement for moms. You don’t need a grand gesture. A text, a knowing look in the checkout line, a simple “you’re doing great” to a stranger wrestling a toddler into a stroller. It’s amazing how far a few words can go in shifting someone’s entire day.
A version of this article was originally published on January 24, 2019. It has been updated.
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