Home / Getting Pregnant / Infertility The silent grief of infertility Being thrilled when your friends and family are pregnant; but crumbling inside By Elizabeth Wilfong Updated April 15, 2024 Elizabeth Wilfong Infertility is A void An incompleteness A feeling of failure An incomplete family Tears, so many tears Living your life in two week increments Buying the house with an extra bedroom, just in case Peeing in cups and on sticks. So much pee. So many sticks Squinting for that line. There’s never a line. Doctors. Medical tests. Medical bills. Insurance fights. Hoping that pimple is because of pregnancy hormones Praying that your hormones are a mess because you’re pregnant – and not because you’re about to get your period Being thrilled when your friends and family are pregnant; but crumbling inside Pills and shots, sometimes. A lot of times Being sad. So sad. Even though what you really have is so much love that is saved up for a little human. “Does your son want a sibling?” “When are you going to start your family?” Redefining your understanding of family Feeling bad that you want more than what you have If you have a child, not wanting them to think they aren’t enough. They are. But, you have this love to give Saving nursery ideas, just in case That glass or two or three of wine after a negative test So many negative tests Wondering if your dreams have an expiration date Names that go unused Hand me downs that never get handed down Why is this silent? A version of this post was published February 22, 2023. It has been updated.