15 ways parents can make space (physically and mentally) in the new year
And it has nothing to do with resolutions.
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There’s a natural momentum to a new year that spurs people to hop on their treadmills, clean their closets or finally stop chain-surfing the web until way past their bedtimes. But while the new year naturally helps you think about what you want to add to your life, implementing changes works better if you first close certain experiences and clear space by letting go of the parts of your life that are dragging you down, are sapping your energy or are no longer needed.
It is not just an act of getting rid of things, it’s an intentional practice of brightening energy by making room for the new.
This is a great time for strategically removing from your life all the things that are not working or not flowing. Reflect on the parts of your life that are weighing you down—bad habits, stressful activities, addictions, negative thought patterns, old resentments or things that put you in a sour mood every day. When you declutter your life, you create an invigorating, inviting space for passion, action and creativity to take hold.
Here are a few practices that help parents clear the old to make room for the new:
1. Create closure with gratitude
One of the best ways to achieve closure on the year is by expressing gratitude. Reflect on the few people you’ve been most grateful for during the year and creatively thank them.
One man was grateful to his chiropractor for helping cure his chronic migraine headaches, so he sent her a thank you card stating what her care meant to him. A mom was thankful for the friendly crossing guard who not only helped her kids cross the street every day, but who also greeted them with warm smiles or compliments—sweet and simple gestures that made them feel welcomed onto the school grounds. She thanked the crossing guard with a snuggly scarf for winter, hot chocolate and a card that her kids helped make. One couple was grateful for their reliable, patient and fun-loving babysitter who made it possible for them to enjoy date nights without guilt. They wrote her a letter detailing the positive things they appreciated about her.
Closing with gratitude lets you reflect on the year and sets you up for continued positive experiences in the year to come. As a bonus, research suggests that when you thank others, it creates an enormous increase in your own happiness as well.
Action step:
Think of one person to whom you’re especially grateful toward this past year—such as a friend for listening, a grandparent who helped with child care, a teacher for helping your child, a mentor who gave you new ideas or a boss who treats you great—and write them a detailed thank you card (or bake them cookies).
2. Declutter your To-Do list
Decluttering your To-Do list—especially the tricky stuff—frees up energy for creativity and playfulness. There are To-Dos that all of us get stuck procrastinating on, whether due to an unconscious or conscious “block,” an underlying fear or a timing issue. Create a tiny bit of movement in your most-stuck tasks.
Action step:
Think of at least one thing hanging over your head or causing you stress—that complex medical bill that’s hard to sort out, the enormous pile of socks without matches that stares you down every weekend, an old friend you’ve always been meaning to call—and take a small step toward taking care of it.
3. Declutter your space
Clearing your environment encompasses throwing out expired food from cabinets, decluttering closets, giving away toys or clothes or going through old papers. Research suggests that managing a huge volume of possessions is a “crushing problem” in many homes, which often increases mothers’ stress levels.
One study by Princeton researchers found that physical clutter in your surroundings competes for your attention, resulting in decreased performance and increased stress. Decluttering “stuff” may help kids too. For example, a recent study showed that too many toys actually reduced the quality of toddlers’ play, whereas fewer toys helped toddlers play more creatively and in a more focused way.
Action steps:
- Get rid of 10 toys
- Get rid of 10 pieces of mail
- Get rid of Tupperware without matching lids
- Get rid of 10 things from your garage
- Empty 1 drawer
- Get rid of 10 food items from your kitchen and donate them to a food pantry
- Get rid of 10 pieces of clothing from your closet and donate them
- Clean the papers off your fridge
- Delete 10 old voicemails
4. Declutter your schedule
There is increasing pressure to sign kids up for structured activities such as karate lessons, gymnastics, painting classes, chess clubs, and the like. A Pew Research Center survey showed that a full 31% of parents say they always feel rushed. Constantly running from here to there increases stress levels in both parents and kids. Kim John Payne, author of “Simplicity Parenting,” argues that children experience a “cumulative stress reaction” from too much enrichment, activity and choice.
Decluttering your schedule helps rebuild time for free play, time for connection and cozy time (also known as hygge). Reclaiming children’s unstructured time is especially important, as research consistently finds that children absolutely love free time, especially outside. One survey of mothers in 16 countries found considerable agreement that free time—especially playing outside, at playgrounds, or at parks—was their children’s most enjoyable activity. Backing off a busy schedule also allows children to spend time nurturing natural friendships through imaginative, kid-directed play.
Action steps:
- Remove at least one structured activity from your schedule.
- Take your kids outside for free play over the holiday break, even if it’s cold.
- Remember something you or your kids used to like to do for fun (like snowshoeing, knitting, having dance parties, doing puzzles, or watching animated films) that got edged out of your schedule due to busyness, and make a plan to reintroduce it into your life.
5. Clear a bad habit
Think of one aspect of your parenting you don’t like, are exhausted by, or are tired of and identify one way to clear it by “doing something different.”
One mom hated the way she nagged her daughter to get her socks and shoes on before they went somewhere. She “did something different” by putting a bin of her daughter’s socks and shoes by the door and, if her daughter had them on by the time they left, she played her daughter’s favorite song as soon as they got in the car.
A dad got tired of yelling at his sons to go to bed, so he “did something different” by adding a few extra rituals into the bedtime routine—some time for playfulness, some time to talk about their day—and giving them 10 minutes to read or look at books before turning off the lights.
Action step:
Identify one thing you dislike that you do as a parent and get specific about how you’ll “clear it” by handling things differently. The more you clear and work toward closure, the more you make space for all the good waiting for you around the corner in the new year.
6. Clear digital clutter to protect your attention
Our phones and devices can quietly drain far more space than we realize. Between endless notifications, overflowing photo libraries, and apps we don’t use, digital clutter eats away at our focus and increases stress. Research has shown that excessive digital distractions can reduce productivity and worsen anxiety, especially for already-stretched parents. Clearing digital noise helps free up mental space for more intentional connection and calm.
Action step:
Delete five apps you haven’t used in months, unsubscribe from ten marketing emails, or create a “Do Not Disturb” window each evening to reclaim your attention.
7. Create micro-boundaries around your time
Parents often give away their time in tiny, invisible ways. Saying yes to favors, responding to messages instantly, or absorbing others’ emotional loads can leave you depleted by the end of the week. Even the smallest boundaries can create huge shifts in available energy, allowing you to protect the parts of yourself that need rest, creativity, and quiet.
Action step:
Choose one simple boundary to start with, like not responding to texts after a certain hour or declining one additional responsibility this month. Let that small shift create more breathing room.
8. Declutter mental load by sharing tasks
Many parents carry an invisible weight of remembering appointments, planning meals, tracking school forms, and anticipating everyone’s needs. Offloading some of this mental load (also called cognitive labor) can dramatically reduce stress. Studies have shown that mothers in particular often carry more of this “invisible work,” and distributing it more evenly helps create a calmer, fairer rhythm at home.
Action step:
Choose one recurring task (think: packing lunches, handling doctor appointments, or managing sports gear) and delegate it fully to a partner or older child for the month.
9. Refresh your home’s energy with a small ritual
Letting go doesn’t always have to involve throwing things out. Sometimes a small ritual helps symbolize emotional closure and a fresh start. This might mean lighting a candle each night after the kids go to bed, opening the windows for a few minutes in the afternoon, or rearranging a corner of your home over the weekend. These simple shifts help reset the energy in your environment and cue your brain that you’re entering a lighter season.
Action step:
Pick one room (even the smallest one) and give it a five-minute refresh by swapping a blanket, opening a window, clearing a surface, or adding a plant or photo that brings you joy.
10. Make space by reclaiming a hobby
Parents often lose parts of themselves under the weight of caregiving, logistics, and urgency. Picking up a forgotten craft, movement practice, or creative outlet can be a powerful way to invite the “new” back in. Research consistently shows that hobbies reduce stress and increase well-being, acting as a buffer against burnout. Reclaiming even a small piece of yourself can open mental and emotional space you didn’t realize you were missing.
Action step:
Choose one small hobby you used to love, like reading mysteries, sketching, baking, or journaling, and set a ten-minute window this week to return to it, just for you.
11. Release expectations that no longer serve you
Many parents carry quiet expectations about how they should feel, how their kids should behave, or what family life is supposed to look like. When reality does not match those expectations, frustration and guilt can pile up. Letting go of outdated or unrealistic expectations can create emotional relief and make room for more acceptance and ease.
Action step:
Identify one expectation you have been holding onto that causes stress, such as how mornings should go or how productive you should feel, and consciously give yourself permission to loosen it.
12. Create a simple end-of-day reset
Mental clutter often builds overnight when days end abruptly with exhaustion. Creating a small, repeatable closing ritual helps your brain transition out of constant problem-solving mode. This does not need to be elaborate to be effective. Even a brief reset can help signal closure and improve sleep and emotional recovery.
Action step:
Choose one small habit to do at the end of each day, such as writing down tomorrow’s top priority, tidying one surface, or taking three slow breaths before bed.
13. Clear unfinished emotional loops
Unspoken conversations, lingering resentments, or unresolved moments can quietly take up a surprising amount of mental space. Clearing does not always mean confronting or fixing everything. Sometimes it means acknowledging what you are holding and choosing how much energy it deserves moving forward.
Action step:
Think of one situation or interaction that keeps resurfacing in your thoughts and decide on one form of closure, such as writing a letter you do not send, talking it through with a trusted friend, or consciously choosing to let it rest.
14. Simplify decision-making where you can
Parents make hundreds of decisions each day, many of them small but draining. Reducing the number of daily choices can lower cognitive fatigue and free up energy for what matters most. Even minor simplifications can add up to meaningful mental relief.
Action step:
Pick one area to simplify, such as rotating a short list of meals, choosing a standard outfit formula, or setting a default answer for certain requests.
15. Make space for quiet connection
Connection does not always require conversation, activities, or productivity. Shared quiet moments can be deeply regulating for both parents and children. Allowing space for calm presence helps clear overstimulation and strengthens emotional bonds without adding to your to-do list.
Action step:
Set aside ten minutes to sit with your child or partner without phones or plans, whether that means reading side by side, watching the sky, or simply being together in silence.
A version of this post was published January 2, 2020. It has been updated.
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