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A true account of one mama's 'restful' evening

12:45 am—I wonder, when Beyonce gets up with the twins, does Jay-Z get up too?

A true account of one mama's 'restful' evening

Time to take back the night! I thought to myself.


I mean—I love my sweet baby girl, but I really think a good night's sleep is necessary for her. And for me too. I've read the books on sleep by Sears and Ferber (well, okay, I've googled the key points), I have a bedtime routine in motion, and I've consulted my mommy group. We. Are. Ready.

Tonight is officially the night that we feed less and sleep more!

We kicked the night off with a lengthy discussion about the importance of sleep and how we're going to tackle this evening together. My angel may only be 8 months old, but I can tell by the twinkle in her eye and the spit bubbles on her lips that she understands exactly what I'm saying. We've just made a deal that we're going to cut it down to two feeds tonight, max.

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7:35 pm—Baby is sound asleep! She's in her bassinet, just arm's reach from my bed. I'm feeling really good about tonight. During bath time I used organic, hypoallergenic, gluten-free lavender-scented baby wash to help her wind down from our busy day of playing her favorite game of "please don't put that in your mouth."

I read Goodnight Moon twice to enrich her mind and made sure her belly was full before laying her down while drowsy—but still awake. I hear her contented, sleepy breaths and they make my heart so happy. I love her so much! We are doing this!

8:30 pm—She's awake, but that's okay! We only just made this deal today. One wake up is completely understandable. She might not be hungry, but I know she misses me. And, honestly, I miss her too. I'm sure a short cuddle and a little bit of milk will do the trick.

She just needs to know that I'm still here. After this, I bet she'll sleep without any more interruptions until at least midnight.

9 pm—Hmm, she's feeding again... I wonder if maybe my little baby is thirsty because she's too warm... Maybe this sleep sack is too heavy... I think I'll change her into the Zipadee Zip—it's a bit lighter... Maybe I should put the sleep sack with the weighted bean built in on her instead? I am not defeated yet, I still have some tricks up my sleeve…

9:45 pm— She is up again. Maybe she's feeling a little sick? Did I hear her coughing before? I can't remember now. Maybe she had a tickle in her throat and just needed a little bit of milk to soothe the itch. I'm sure she'll sleep soundly now.

She has to, right?

It's okay, she's only going to be this little for only a short amount of time. Every second is precious and I love bonding with her during these nighttime feedings, anyway. We're good. Everything is good.

10 pm—Maybe I've missed a milestone… Or could it be a growth spurt? Let me grab my phone so I can check my Wonder Weeks app. She might need an extra feed or two because it's a new leap! Okay, it's not a leap.

10:45 pm—Maybe I'm doing this all wrong. I mean, she can't be up again because she's hungry. Can she? Is it me? Did I feed her enough before I put her to bed? Was she drowsy enough when I put her down? Or awake enough? Maybe I overstimulated her little brain with that second reading of Goodnight Moon? Or could it be that the body wash had too much lavender and not enough gluten? Is that a thing? Am I losing it?

11:30 pm—Okay, I know! She must be teething? I bet her mouth is bothering her so she needs to feed again to soothe the ache. Or it could be a leap! Wait, did I already check if it was a leap?

12:45 am—I wonder, when Beyonce gets up with the twins, does Jay-Z get up too?

1:30 am—Did I go through this with my firstborn? Did we feed every 45 minutes? Have I forgotten? Did I block it out? I can't remember… Why would I do this again if this is what happened before?

2 am—Maybe this baby doesn't even like me… is that a thing?

2:40 am—I bet if I just put her beside me in bed, she will sleep better. She might just need the smell of her mama to know I'm close by...

3 am—I'm just going to let this baby sleep with my boob in her mouth...

4 am—If she's not hungry, I bet she's awake because she's annoyed by her father's snoring…

5 am—Why aren't wet nurses a thing anymore? Who decided to throw that idea away? I bet it was a man...

6:30 am—Is this kid for real? Now that my older kids are up, this one is sleeping like a rock.

Coffee, here I come.

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