An open letter to Joanna Gaines—from a fellow mother of 5

Is it always easy? You know it isn’t. But is it worth it? You know it is.

An open letter to Joanna Gaines—from a fellow mother of 5

Dear Joanna,

We didn’t get to see you blossom with pregnancy and ogle at baby pictures since your other children were all pre-Fixer Upper, but the world is beyond excited for this new little Gaines member!

And let me say, just one Instagram post into getting to watch your journey and we can already tell how adorable you will be rocking that baby bump. We are obsessed. In the absolute best way possible.

I thought I’d write, heart-to-heart, as a mom of five myself, about what to expect when baby Gaines arrives.

To others, having four children seems like a normal “big” family size, and then by having a fifth—people may wonder if we are a tad bit crazy to add another.

Maybe we are, maybe we’re not. Where many stop, we dare to keep going. And it can definitely be wild and loud and hectic. But the little known truth is that having five children is magical.

For me, number five brought about another layer of confidence and grace—even if that means the confidence to ask for help when I need it.

The truth is, mothering five is not much different than four.

Take what you are doing now and just add another plate at your farmhouse table, another car seat in the van and another sweet voice that calls you "Mommy." There's magic in the fact that we're well seasoned at this calling and not much can throw us off our motherhood game.

We’ve done the sleepless nights, the sickness rounds and figured out how to balance the needs of the various (and often simultaneous) cries. Most importantly, you know how to reach deep for that extra dose of patience when the crew gets rowdy (including Chip!).

Is it always easy? You know it isn’t. But is it worth it? You know it is.

Four kids is loud, five is another notch higher. It can be pure chaos sometimes, as you already know, but that noise is also evidence of the abundant blessings running through your home. It is all about the perspective we take.

It may blow some people’s minds that you want to add another to your family, trust me, I know not everyone will understand. I get the comments at every grocery store line, too. While you have a gaggle of humans around your shopping cart, people can’t resist the urge of saying how full your hands are. And they are! But in the best way possible, filled with tiny fingers and hands to hold.

It is such a blessing to be able to experience this motherhood season over and over again.

Getting to pull out old baby clothes that once fit your oldest (unless you cleverly packed them all away!), feeling the familiar butterfly kicks once more, the excitement of the new baby’s arrival and seeing which sibling they may favor most. The real magic, though, is watching the siblings bond with the baby.

There is nothing like watching your 11-year-old care for the baby almost as if he's their own. Or, the way your 7-year-old can make the baby laugh like no other! The moments of them caring for one another, the sparkle in their eyes as they play and watching your them build a solid relationship foundation make all the chaotic moments worth it.

These are little glimpses of perfection and a true gift—these moments are there to remind us why we have the big family that we do.

And your other children will love being helpers.

I hear families with large age gaps may feel like they are “starting all over” in a sense, but you've got the wonderful advantage of having many big helper siblings this time around. I just know your children’s excitement and your family's value of working together will make your transition to a family of seven an easy one.

One of my favorite parts of mothering five children, is training and watching my children become a team to accomplish something together—and we’ve seen how you instill that in your children, too. (Now, just make sure they take care of their mama, too, so you can get some rest after birth!)

You, Joanna, have shown the world how amazing you are at balancing family life and your (amazing) work, or knowing when to step back. And while we are on the topic of work—remember to keep holding onto the pieces of you that make you unique and that bring you fulfillment—the parts that hold your creativity and joy.

Mothering five is true magic—which may not logically make sense to some because we’re continually giving more of ourselves (and our money, people always ask about the money!) away to little people around us—we are actually gaining even more in return.

While raising a big family is extremely hard work and, at times, extremely loud with the squabbling or squealing—it is beyond fulfilling and joyful. It is much like having four children, but there is just more of everything. More laughter, more work, more tears, more laundry, more messes, more happiness, and of course, lots more love.

I, along with the rest of the world, are rooting for you and excited for you to embark on this continuation of your motherhood journey.

You’ve got this.


A fellow mama of five

A very important letter for new mamas

Listen, mom-guilt is a dirty liar. Yes, it's your job to fill your little human's needs, but you matter too. Don't forget to take care of yourself. Hang out with friends, take a drive blaring 90's hip hop or shower without interruptions—trust me, you'll be a better person (and mom) because of it.

Dear new mom,

You will shave again someday. Today is not that day.

Set expectations low, my friend, and set your partner's lower—at least where body hair and overall hygiene are concerned.

That conversation could go something like this: “From now on let's not consider shaving a “standard," but more like a gift that happens on birthdays and the first day of summer."

Voila, you are a gift-giving genius. You know what else is a gift? Shaving the inch and a half of skin that is between your skinny jeans and your boots. You're welcome world.

You will not be perfect at parenting.


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