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I didn’t know everything would change—but I don’t miss the old me

I stopped missing the old me and embraced the new me.

I didn’t know everything would change—but I don’t miss the old me

"I'm having a baby, not a lobotomy," I said, feeling very clever as my friends chuckled. I was the first pregnant friend in our group, trying to reassure everyone, but especially myself, that despite the ever-expanding baby bump, inability to stay up past 10 pm, and the La Croix in my hand, nothing much was going to change.


I would have a baby, obviously, but I would remain pretty much the same.

I was uncomfortable at the idea of being "mom," picturing a lopsided mom bun, graham cracker crumbs ground into my Anthropologie sweaters, and being thought of as boring. I assumed my baby would comfortably slide into mine and my husband's lives while we remained us, with almost the same schedule and activities, plus a snuggly baby.

Then I found myself, a few days after a very long, decently-traumatizing labor, holding my teeny, tiny son, tears running down my face, so tired I could barely see straight.

My entire world had been turned inside out, shaken around, and given back to me, and I was trying to make sense of it on scant 30 minute stretches of sleep.

Everything had changed. I hadn't fully understood that through the birth of my child, my old self would have been left behind, sacrificed in the creation of this new life.

Instead, along with my new son, a new mother had been born, and we were both blinking in confusion at the light of day, startled to have left the warm and cozy embrace of what was before.

When he learned how to eat, I learned how to feed him. As he cried, I learned how to comfort him.

YouTube became my teacher, yoga videos replaced by tutorials on stroller folding frantically watched in parking lots, or baby burping how-tos hurriedly watched and rewatched. “Newborn baby day night confusion,” I googled. “Newborn baby breathing patterns?” “Newborn baby hates carseat?” “Newborn baby only sleeps on me?”

The young woman I was before had gone. Caught up in the relentless care of a newborn, I didn't notice her leaving until I was back at work 12 weeks later, sobbing at my desk, longing for my baby.

Everything had been utterly changed and I was wholly unprepared for it. I had read the books, but Bringing Up Bebe and Happiest Baby on the Block didn’t tell me that along with the new baby would be a new me.

And, to my surprise, as the weeks wore on, I stopped missing the old me and embraced the new me.

The old me was indecisive. The new me had to learn to make quick decisions with confidence.

The old me was worried she wasn't capable. The new me found that I could handle almost anything thrown at me (Crying! Diaper Blowouts! Stranded in a broken-down car with a 7-week-old!) even if there were some tears along the way.

The old me worried about making everyone happy and what everyone else thought. The new me focused on what her baby needed, and realized the freedom of letting the opinions of others go.

The old me had no idea how having a baby would turn my entire life and our priorities upside down. We've lived in Washington DC for 10 years, but are packing up to move back closer to family. Where I was full speed ahead in my career, I'm taking a step back to spend more time with my son.

And, to my pleasant surprise, embracing the new me—motherhood in all its messy, undone, baby-giggles glory—hasn’t entirely erased the old me.

I still appreciate thoughtful books, even if they’re read in fits and starts.

I still take pleasure in making delicious food, even if it might look like a slow-cooker meal and baby puree.

I haven’t quite gotten back to daily hot yoga, but there’s a lifetime for that.

When I was pregnant and contemplating changing everything for my baby I had only fear of change.

Instead, now I feel, through these difficulties and changes, I have found who I am at my core. And motherhood has revealed the woman I always wanted to be.

With the fear stripped away I am left with only myself, old and new parts, in striking clarity.

14 outdoor toys your kids will want to play with beyond summer

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$30

Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!

$75

Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

$120

Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

$30

Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$100

Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40

Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121

Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.

$100

Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.

$45

Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.

$179

Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.

$100

Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$33

Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$88

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Motherly editors’ 7 favorite hacks for organizing their diaper bags

Make frantically fishing around for a diaper a thing of the past!

As any parent knows, the term "diaper bag" only scratches the surface. In reality, this catchall holds so much more: a change of clothes, bottles, snacks, wipes and probably about a dozen more essential items.

Which makes finding the exact item you need, when you need it (read: A diaper when you're in public with a blowout on your hands) kind of tricky.

That's why organization is the name of the game when it comes to outings with your littles. We pooled the Motherly team of editors to learn some favorite hacks for organizing diaper bags. Here are our top tips.

1. Divide and conquer with small bags

Here's a tip we heard more than a few times: Use smaller storage bags to organize your stuff. Not only is this helpful for keeping related items together, but it can also help keep things from floating around in the expanse of the larger diaper bag. These bags don't have to be anything particularly fancy: an unused toiletry bag, pencil case or even plastic baggies will work.

2. Have an emergency changing kit

When you're dealing with a diaper blowout situation, it's not the time to go searching for a pack of wipes. Instead, assemble an emergency changing kit ahead of time by bundling a change of baby clothes, a fresh diaper, plenty of wipes and hand sanitizer in a bag you can quickly grab. We're partial to pop-top wipes that don't dry out or get dirty inside the diaper bag.

3. Simplify bottle prep

Organization isn't just being able to find what you need, but also having what you need. For formula-feeding on the go, keep an extra bottle with the formula you need measured out along with water to mix it up. You never know when your outing will take longer than expected—especially with a baby in the mix!

4. Get resealable snacks

When getting out with toddlers and older kids, snacks are the key to success. Still, it isn't fun to constantly dig crumbs out of the bottom of your diaper bag. Our editors love pouches with resealable caps and snacks that come in their own sealable containers. Travel-sized snacks like freeze-dried fruit crisps or meal-ready pouches can get an unfair reputation for being more expensive, but that isn't the case with the budget-friendly Comforts line.

5. Keep a carabiner on your keychain

You'll think a lot about what your child needs for an outing, but you can't forget this must-have: your keys. Add a carabiner to your keychain so you can hook them onto a loop inside your diaper bag. Trust us when we say it's a much better option than dumping out the bag's contents on your front step to find your house key!

6. Bundle your essentials

If your diaper bag doubles as your purse (and we bet it does) you're going to want easy access to your essentials, too. Dedicate a smaller storage bag of your diaper bag to items like your phone, wallet and lip balm. Then, when you're ready to transfer your items to a real purse, you don't have to look for them individually.

7. Keep wipes in an outer compartment

Baby wipes aren't just for diaper changes: They're also great for cleaning up messy faces, wiping off smudges, touching up your makeup and more. Since you'll be reaching for them time and time again, keep a container of sensitive baby wipes in an easily accessible outer compartment of your bag.

Another great tip? Shop the Comforts line on www.comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices. Or, follow @comfortsforbaby for more information!

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that supporting Motherly and mamas.

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The 6 biggest lies I believed before having kids

Just about all of us had set assumptions about raising kids before we became parents ourselves.

Just about all of us had set assumptions about raising kids before we became parents ourselves. Some of these ideas might have been based on our own ideas of how we would absolutely do things differently than everyone else. Others, we believed what everyone else told us would happen would apply to our littles, too. But, that's not always the case, mama.

Below are six of the biggest lies I believed before having kids—and the reality of what actually happened for me.

1. Put your baby down drowsy, but awake

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