Live to work or work to live? How I put my career in perspective
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Want to make work feel a little more like play, mama? We feel you.
Dreams change.
Individuals
evolve. Our priorities and values change, our inner circle changes, and of
course, the world around us changes.
These
changes make it nearly impossible for our callings, passions, and purposes in
life to stay the same.
This
constant evolution is perfectly normal.
Although we need some amount of focus and a few core tenets to concentrate on,
their manifestation may not always be linear.
The idea of a career “destination” is fluid.
My
friend and I were recently having a conversation about careers and she said
something that struck a deep chord.
“What
if I never have all the answers? What if I get somewhere and realize that’s
not what I want? What if I get the dream job only to realize that my boss left
the company and the new one isn’t letting me bring my new ideas to fruition?”
There is no escape from the very real
possibility that our dream job “destination” may be fleeting. That’s what makes
it so important to live for the journey
that our careers will take us on.
The journey must come before the destination.
What
we see on someone’s LinkedIn profile, magazine cover, or Facebook page is often
missing the back story. What went into that glowing résumé or profile? Sacrifice, tears, fears, doubts, and, undoubtedly,
someone’s inner critic.
There
are no short cuts to success.
Experimentation and tinkering are fun, yet scary,
but the time will most likely come when you begin to look back rather than
continue looking forward.
There is much more inner growth to be found if we can
embrace our personal journey to fulfillment; if we can embrace the chaos and
learn to sail with it instead of racing
ahead to the end.
A “career” can be different from “work.”
We
often used these terms interchangeably but they are not always the same.
For
the purpose of this conversation, I’d say a career (or job) is an activity that
you engage in as a form of vocation, for which you may be compensated with some
form of payment.
But
we do many different kinds of
work in our lives—at a job, at home, or in our community.
I have to greatly thank Pamela Slim for
introducing me to Body of Work, which, among
other things, expresses the value of making connections among our diverse set
of accomplishments.
Social circles matter.
When
trying to answer big career questions (that don’t always have one straightforward
answer), a support system is key.
In
addition to a positive circle of social support, there may still be a few
around us who think we are crazy, undecided, unfocused, unhappy, and dissatisfied.
They may do their best to continuously remind us of it.
The
important thing is to face this criticism with a smile (even if it’s just a
sarcastic emoji ☺),
receive the feedback, and stay true to what’s important.
Excessive planning isn’t always the answer.
Spreadsheets,
journals, therapists, and coaches can be part of the solution, but sometimes we
have to surrender and trust that the universe has a plan.
As
a coach once reminded me, “We are cooking a delicious stew in a crock-pot,
adding the ingredients we think will add flavor. But, we aren’t sure what the
dish is going to look and taste like!”
Sometimes, letting go of the final plan can lead to happy serendipity at work and at home.
I am a big believer that work can be
a source of meaning, inspiration and purpose. It can be more than a paycheck
and something that fulfills our soul…
…yet, I have also come to realize
that it can be more complex and nuanced than just following your passion, your
calling, or doing what you love. The internet is abound with blogs and articles
that keep giving us these messages and for many of us who may have not fully
realized that dream, we can feel as if we are failing and that so many others
have figured it out (which may not always be true).
As a working mom who practices (and teaches) mindfulness to others, here’s what I have learned about finding meaning at work—
Fulfilling work is a privilege.
Whether
you are a SAHM, a full-time office mama, or somewhere in between, it is an incredible
privilege to have the time to reflect and make choices that can make work and
life more meaningful.
There
are so many of us mothers who are in search of career or family fulfillment, still
trying to find the optimal work/life balance, or simply struggling to put food
on the table each day (either because of financial or time constraints).
Even if we are still looking for our groove, we
must try not to lose sight of the many amazing gifts we have in this life. I know I won’t.
Work cannot solve everything.
What are our goals? For me, it’s about living a meaningful life
with work being a part of it (not the other way around).
I
may do a variety of things in a given week that feed different parts of my soul.
Work doesn’t need to satisfy all parts
of me at the same time.
In
fact, many times having more than one career may be an optimal solution for
some of us.
Although I may sometimes aspire for work to fuel
all (or at least most) of my being, setting realistic expectations can be a
huge relief.
Work and life can be integrated when we see the big picture.
Finding
work that can be fulfilling and still integrate other core life values can be difficult,
but it is incredibly important for sustained satisfaction and joy.
A
rewarding job that includes a 3 hour commute with 2 young kids may be less
appealing (for some) than a less fulfilling job that is 5 minutes away from
home that allows more time for the kids and a home-cooked dinner every night.
When
we look at a job in isolation, we don’t always see the whole picture.
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