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You don't have to do everything yourself. I need this stitched on a pillow strapped to my head so I see it every time I pass a reflective surface. Even though I know the key to overcoming mommy burnout is to share tasks with my teammate husband, I still resist.


It's too hard to explain what needs doing, he won't do it right, it's my job anyway, etc.

The problem is that every time I fail to share the load, I further entrench myself in the role of resident expert. After starting to work from home, I found myself more stressed than ever and resentful that I was working and keeping up all the household management.

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Things had to change. Here's how I learned to do it in a way that keeps my husband and I both happy.

Create a system

I love systems because they allow you to share almost any task with anyone competent. Once someone learns your system, you’re done.

Meal planning used to take me a ton of time. After my husband was forced to eat eggplant three weeks in a row and listen to me complain about how much time the planning was taking up, he asked if we could take turns planning week to week. Great idea honey!

So I developed a meal planning system. I got a great app, Paprika Recipe Manager for iPhone and iPad, to store our favorite recipes. I designated meal themes to different nights of the week. And we share the grocery list on Todoist. This way, if either of us finds ourselves at the store or home early to start dinner, we can just jump in.

Share important information

A big part of my mommy burnout was being the repository for all the household information. So I signed us up for a password management system online (LastPass Password Manager) and created a shared Google calendar for all our family events. Now my husband knows what we’re doing tomorrow and how to pay the water bill without asking me.

Make it a conversation, not an order

Notice that I haven’t used the word “delegate” once? Delegation implies that you are the boss and your spouse is the lowly worker striving for his one chance to prove himself. Feeling like we’re in charge of everything is how mommy burnout happens in the first place!

Start by talking about how you feel, rather than what the other person isn’t doing. “I feel overwhelmed by all that needs to get done before Lucy’s birthday party,” is a good example. Keeping the focus on your feelings keeps your partner off the defensive and more likely to want to help.

Hopefully your partner will jump in with, “How can I help? but in case that miracle doesn’t happen, try asking what they would be able to do to lighten the load. Using the word “would” gives volition back to your partner rather than asking if they “could” do something, which implies they might not be capable of it.

Also, make specific requests. Most of the time our partners 1. don’t know we’re overwhelmed and 2. have no idea how to jump in mid-project to help. Asking “would” they help by picking up the cake since they drive that way home from work gives them the ability to volunteer to help in a specific, manageable way.

Let go of the process and focus on the result

So here’s the thing. Even if you create a perfect system that you think is the best, your spouse may not want to do it that way. Different people work better by doing things in different ways. We’re all individuals with our own best practices. So remember that the process doesn’t matter so much as the result.

If you can’t handle someone messing with your system, then maybe that’s a task you care too much about to have someone else do. Share a different task instead, and keep the one that you enjoy or really need to control.

Play to everyone’s strengths

Do you love spending time in the sun doing yard work? Does your husband enjoy getting the bathrooms sparkling clean? Well, don’t assign him the lawn while you scrub the tile if that’s not what you both enjoy.

Playing to your teammate’s strengths makes for a happier and more efficient team. Some people are not very good at details and some people thrive on them.Knowing your team and accepting your gifts and limitations will serve you both better in the long run.

Compliment and encourage

Acknowledgement is a huge motivator. When tasks go unacknowledged, on the other hand, we start to think they’re not important. Then we either stop doing them, or start feeling resentful that we’re still expected to do them.

So say, “Thank you,” or “Good job,” or “You are so good at that!” Compliments and encouragement will inevitably start flowing your way too, which is a crucial key to preventing mommy burnout (and resentment).

Our babies come out as beautiful, soft and natural as can be—shouldn't their clothes follow suit?

Here are nine of our favorite organic kids clothing brands that prove safe fabrics + stylish designs are a natural fit.

Estella

A brick and mortar store in Manhattan that opened in 2002, Estella is NYC's go-to shop for luxury baby gifts—from sweet-as-pie organic clothing to eco-friendly toys.

L'ovedbaby

@lovedbaby

We l'oved this collection from the moment we laid eyes on it. (See what we did there 🤣) Free of things harsh added chemicals, dangerous flame retardants, and harmful dyes, this collection is 100% organic and 100% gorgeous. We especially adore their soft, footed rompers, comfy cotton joggers, and newborn-friendly kimono bodysuits.

Looking to stock up? Don't miss Big-Find Thursday every week on their site—a 24-hour flash sale that happens Thursdays at 9 a.m. PST and features a different body style, collection, and discount every week!

Hanna Andersson

@happyhannas

One of our all-time favorite brands for durability, style, + customer service, Hanna Andersson doesn't disappoint in the organic department, either. From an aww-inducing organic baby layette collection all the way to their iconic pajamas, there are so many organic styles to swoon over from this beloved brand. And we swear their pajamas are magic—they seem to grow with your little one, fitting season after season!

Monica + Andy

@monicaandandy

The fabric you first snuggle your baby in matters. Monica + Andy's (gorgeous) collection is designed for moms and babies by moms with babies, and we love it all because it's made of super-soft GOTS-certified organic cotton that's free of chemicals, lead, and phthalates. Newborn pieces feature thoughtful details like fold-over mittens and feet.

Finn + Emma

@finnandemma

"Here boring designs and toxic chemicals are a thing of the past while modern colors, fresh prints and heirloom quality construction are abundant." We couldn't agree more. Made from 100% organic cotton, eco friendly dyes, and in fair trade settings, we love this modern collection's mix of style + sustainability.

We especially love the Basics Collection, an assortment of incredibly soft, beautiful apparel + accessories including bodysuits, zip footies, pants, hats, and bibs, all available in a gender-neutral color palette that can work together to create multiple outfit combinations. The pieces are perfect for monochrome looks or for mixing with prints for a more modern style.

SoftBaby

@littleaddigrey for @softbaby_clothes

You'll come for SoftBaby's organic fabrics, but you'll stay for their adorable assortment of prints. From woodland foxes to urban pugs, there's no limit to their assortment (meaning you'll even be able to find something for the new mama who's hard to shop for). Plus, the name says it all--these suckers are soft. Get ready for some serious cuddle time.

Gap Baby

@gapkids

Organic may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the Gap, but this popular brand actually carries a wide variety of organic (and adorable) baby + toddler clothes. From newborn layette basics to toddler sleepwear—and more—there's something for everyone in this collection. Everything is 100% cotton, super soft + cozy, and perfect for eco-conscious mamas.

Winter Water Factory

@winterwaterfactory

Certified organic cotton with Brooklyn-based swagger? Be still our hearts. Winter Water Factory features screen-printed textiles in bold designs you'll want to show off (get ready for some major Instagram likes). And the husband-and-wife co-founders keep sustainability at the forefront of their brand, meaning you can feel good about your purchase--and what you're putting on your baby.

The company makes everything from kids' clothes to crib sheets (all made in the USA). For even more cuteness, pair their signature rompers with a hat or bonnet.

Under the Nile

@underthenile

Under the Nile has been making organic baby clothes since before it was cool. Seriously, they were the first baby clothing company in the USA to be certified by The Global Organic Textile Standard. They've kept up that legacy of high standards by growing their Egyptian cotton on a biodynamic farm without the use of pesticides or insecticides, and all of their prints are made with metal-free colors and no chemical finishes.

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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How much time our kids spend in front of a screen is something we have almost always been “strict" about in our household.

Generally speaking, we're not big TV watchers and our kids don't own tablets or iPads, so limiting screen time for our children (usually around the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines) has proven to be a reasonable practice for us.

It wasn't until this past summer when I started working from home full time that I found myself stretching an hour to an hour and a half or allowing just one more episode of Pokemon so I could get in a few more emails quietly. (#MomGuilt)

I also realized that I wasn't counting when we passively had the news on in the background as TV time and that we weren't always setting a stellar example for our kids as we tended to use our phones during what should have been family time.

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