Okay. Look. I know what I said.

I told everyone that this summer would be the “summer of all summers.” The greatest one yet. I promised to live my life to the fullest and embrace the short, sunny season with my three beautiful kids.

Full of enthusiasm I rejoiced in my love for my babies while lamenting how the time passes so fast. I swore I would be more present in their lives. From early evening bike rides for an icy treat to happily running through the sprinkler on a hot summer day, I was determined to live like a kid again. Carefree and ready for fun, I would embrace all that summer had to offer. I would reclaim my youth and be an active participant in my kid’s childhood.

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And you know what? I did it. All of it.

I know what you’re thinking, she couldn’t have possibly done everything she set out to do. Why it’s only mid-August, how could she have made so many memories already?

I played soccer with my children (and got accidentally kicked in the face with a soccer ball while my little angels laughed hysterically). When my kids had a water balloon fight, I laughed when they surprised me and pelted me with a few from behind (and only yelled ONCE when they narrowly missed my phone).

I jumped through the waves at the pool while frantically grabbing onto my kids and my swimsuit. And when my son requested my participation in five (hundred) rounds of a game he invented where I shake my booty and he bounces off of it, I shook until I could shake no more.

(Yes, it’s as hilarious as it sounds and let’s just say any neighbors who happened to be walking by my house during those moments got an eyeful—you’re welcome.)

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Maybe I aimed a little low? I’m not sure. But trust me when I say I did it all.

And I am over it.

Turns out, making the most of summer doesn’t ACTUALLY take all summer. One and a half months probably would have been fine. Especially with kids like mine who apparently need to do approximately five activities within a half hour (my kid’s teachers deserve a raise).

I might anger a few parents by saying this but I’m going to say it anyway:

I love my children but I’m ready for summer break with my kids to be over.

I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone since the summer solstice.

I love the long summer nights, the lazy mornings, and the ability to sleep in but I miss our school routine. I know when I’m in the thick of the school year I’ll regret saying this but, right now, I miss having scheduled wake-ups, drop-offs, and pick-ups.

I know that I’m fortunate to be home with my kids right now but I had no idea how close to impossible it is to get any work done with three kids around all day (again, give teachers a raise).

My understanding of how much my kids would yell, sing, chat, and babble during one 24-hour period was way off. Maybe it’s all the YouTube they’ve watched but it’s as though they think we’re being filmed on a live-stream reality show and they’re all trying to guarantee they’ll get the most airtime. Oh, in case I didn’t mention it—my kid’s teachers, educators and caregivers all deserve a raise.

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I miss being able to think of a complete sentence and having the chance to say it out loud before being interrupted. Without a school or preschool, I’m forced to wait until all three kids are in bed to get any coherent sentences out of my brain and onto a piece of paper. (School, I took your schedule for granted. I’m sorry.)

I am OVER being interrogated by my children every day as to what we are going to do. First, are we supposed to do things every single day? Second, who is paying for all of these things? Third, how many times in one day do I have to tell my kids to figure out how to entertain themselves and then threaten—I mean calmly advise—that they clearly do not need the bazillion toys in our home since they obviously do not use them.

Thank you, school, for planning field trips, activities, extracurriculars, and events that keep my children occupied, happy, and out of my hair (and wallet).

I miss actually missing each other every day. I know I’m lucky to be at home with my kids right now and please, believe me, I am grateful, but dang, can a girl get some personal space? I haven’t gone to the bathroom alone since the summer solstice.

I love my kids. And I’m so thankful for the life I have with them.

Now, let’s go buy some school supplies because this mama is done with the “summer of all summers” and ready for the best school year yet.

A version of this post was published August 14, 2019. It has been updated.