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40 things every mom learns in her baby’s first year

You know what you're doing, you really do.

40 things every mom learns in her baby’s first year

The first year in your baby's life is full of exciting changes and growth, which can sometimes be overwhelming for both first-time moms and seasoned ones. At Motherly, we have collectively a gazillion* children so we wanted to share our knowledge with the world, especially to new mamas out there who are wondering if they are doing a good job at this whole raising tiny humans thing (trust me, you are!)

(*A gazillion, approximately. 😆)

Here's what our team learned in their babies' first year:

  1. You need at least one mom friend you can text about literally anything and literally any time of the day or night.
  2. You will talk A LOT about baby poop and even snap photos of it.
  3. You will at least have one call with your pediatrician in the middle of the night for what turns out to be just gas.
  4. You'll know all the most baby-friendly restaurants in the neighborhood.
  5. You'll need to have a canned response to when someone asks you if you are breastfeeding, if you "work or stay home," and all the questions strangers love to ask moms.
  6. Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential.
  7. If you're wondering if it's poop or chocolate, it's definitely poop.
  8. You'll spend way too much time stressing about little things, we've all done it.
  9. How your baby is born is a tiny bleep in comparison to everything else that comes after.
  10. You know your baby better than anyone else.
  11. It is equally important for you to love your child's pediatrician as it is that your child loves them.
  12. Baby smiles make any day significantly better.
  13. It's okay to take your baby to the pediatrician because YOU are worried about something (even when everyone else says it's probably fine).
  14. It's okay to trust your gut. You've got a good gut.
  15. Don't rush crawling or walking. That "potted plant phase" where they can sit up unassisted but also stay put is just so convenient.
  16. There are so many things you can do one-handed.
  17. The internet can be your friend and your enemy, mom groups can be great and Google searches can be evil.
  18. Breastfeeding is hard, period.
  19. Don't feel guilty about not doing "anything" during your baby's nap, you need time off too.
  20. Sometimes, they only want mama.
  21. Babies turn into amazing people.
  22. A family dance party is a cure for most problems.
  23. It gets easier, until it's hard again, only to get easier and hard again.
  24. They will eventually stop napping on you (and maybe you'll miss it.)
  25. Always have your phone charged, your remote near and an empty bladder before sitting on a couch while holding a baby. You might be stuck there for hours.
  26. It's okay to let your partner or a different caregiver do things in their way. It's not wrong, just different.
  27. Know the signs of PPD and PPA, they can show up way after birth.
  28. Babies will sleep through anything, except mom tiptoeing 500 feet away, that will wake them up immediately.
  29. You're capable of doing things you used to think were impossible.
  30. If your baby is crying it's usually because they're hungry, tired or wet/poopy. But also, sometimes babies just cry. And when they do that you can just hold them.
  31. Hard days are temporary.
  32. Always carry extra clothes for you and baby, blowouts can happen anywhere at any time.
  33. It's okay to ask for help.
  34. You can't do it all, nor should you.
  35. It's totally normal to need a break from your baby, you're not a bad mom.
  36. It's possible to get by on two hours of sleep but it's not sustainable.
  37. No one gets it right all the time (not even that "perfect" mom you know)
  38. They don't know what they're doing either. (Even if it seems like they do.)
  39. Your baby thinks you are perfect.
  40. You know what you're doing, you really do.

Here are some of our favorite products that got us through.

BABYBJÖRN Bouncer Bliss

BabyBjorn bouncer bliss

This iconic bouncer from BABYBJÖRN is worth its weight in gold. It let us shower, make dinner and get a break all while providing (quiet!) stimulation for our littles. Bonus: Qhen they outgrow the bouncer phase, you can flip the cover over and use as a toddler chair. Genius!

$250
Buy Now

Echo Art Bindery baby book

Echo Art Bindery baby book

This keepsake baby book is so gorgeous it will be hard to forget to fill it out throughout the year. The best part? The sweet prompts that help capture memories you'd otherwise forget.

$62
Buy Now

The bökee

bokee

This brilliant little product gives you the extra hands you need to prep a bottle while you're juggling a baby. You may start with breast milk transfers or bottle holders for mixing formula, but, before you know it, you'll be placing a sippy cup in your bökee to fill with water so you don't spill all over your toddler's Play-Doh creation on the kitchen table.

$20
Buy Now

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this

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The key to breastfeeding success? The right supplies + resources

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When you ask any two mamas to share their experience with breastfeeding, you are bound to get very unique answers. That's because while the act of breastfeeding is both wonderful and natural, it also comes with a learning curve for both mothers and babies.

In some cases, breastfeeding won't be the right path for everyone. But with the right tools, resources and social support systems, we can make progress toward the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation to continue breastfeeding through the first year of a child's life. After all, breastfeeding helps nourish infants, protects them against illnesses, develops their immune systems and more. Not to mention that mothers who breastfeed experience reduced risk for breast and ovarian cancer, type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure.

With National Breastfeeding Awareness Month this month, it's a great time for mamas (and expectant mamas!) to gather the supplies that will support their feeding journey—whether it looks like exclusively breastfeeding, pumping or combo-feeding.

Customflow™ Double Electric Breast Pump

Designed for regular use, this double electric breast pump allows mamas to customize the cycle and vacuum settings that work for them. The 100% SoftShape™ silicone shields on this pump form-fit to a wide range of breast shapes and sizes—which means more comfortable, more efficient pumping. And every pump comes with two complete Dr. Brown's Options+ bottles, giving you everything you need to go from pumping to feeding.

$159.99
Buy Now

Dr. Brown’s™ Breast Milk Collection Bottles

There's no need to cry over spilled milk—because it won't happen with these storage bottles! Make the pump-to-feeding transition simpler with Dr. Brown's Milk Collection Bottles. The bottles adapt to Dr. Brown's electric pumps to easily fill, seal and transport, and they work with Dr. Brown's bottle and nipple parts when your baby's ready to eat. (Meaning no risky pouring from one bottle to another. 🙌)

$9.99
Buy Now

Breast Milk Storage Bags

With an extra-durable design and double zip seal, your breast milk will stay fresh and safe in the fridge or freezer until it's needed. Plus, the bags are easy to freeze flat and then store for up to six months, so your baby can continue drinking breast milk long after you are done nursing.

$9.99
Buy Now

Silicone One-Piece Breast Pump with Options+™ Bottle & Bag

Here's something they don't tell you about breastfeeding ahead of time: While feeding your baby on one side, the other breast may "let down" milk, too. With this one-piece Silicone Breast Pump, you don't have to let those precious drops go to waste. The flexible design makes pouring the milk into a bottle stress-free.

$14.99
Buy Now

Dr. Brown’s® Manual Breast Pump

No outlet in sight? No worries! With this powerful-yet-gentle Manual Breast Pump, you can get relief from engorgement, sneak in some quick midnight pumping or perform a full pumping session without any electricity needed. With Dr. Brown's 100% silicone SoftShape™ Shield, the hand-operated pump is as comfortable as it is easy to use. Complete with Dr. Brown's® Options+™ Anti-Colic Wide-Neck Bottle, a storage travel cap and cleaning brush, consider this the breastfeeding essential for any mama who has places to go.

$29.99
Buy Now

Options+™ Anti-Colic Baby Bottle

With the soft silicone nipple and natural flow design of these bottles, your baby can easily switch between breast and bottle. Clinically proven to reduce colic thanks to the vent, your baby can enjoy a happy tummy after feeding sessions—without as much spit-up, burping or gas! By mimicking the flow and feel of the breast, these bottles help support your breastfeeding experience.

$7.99
Buy Now

This post is sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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7 hacks for simplifying after-school snacks

Prepping delicious and nutritious foods shouldn't take all day.

When you're in the middle of the school year and managing a family, each minute of time becomes very precious. Sometimes that means healthy food choices in the household can take a backseat. But don't stress it, mama. Prepping delicious and nutritious choices for the kids to munch on doesn't need to take all day.

Remember to keep it fun, simple and interactive! Here are tips for simplifying after-school snacks once and for all:

1. Prep snacks on Sunday

This simple trick can make the rest of the week a breeze. Tupperware is your friend here, you can even write different days of the week on each container to give the kids a little surprise every day. I really like storage with compartments for snack prep. Personally, I slice apples, carrots or cucumbers to pair with almond butter and hummus—all great to grab and go for when you're out all day and need some fresh variety.

2. When in doubt, go for fruit

Fruit is always a quick and easy option. I suggest blueberries, clementine oranges, apples, frozen grapes or even unsweetened apple sauce and dried fruit, like mixed fruit. It's fun to put together a fruit salad, too. Simply cut up all the fruit options and let the kids decide how they'd like to compile. Prepped fruit is also great to have on hand for smoothies, especially when it's been sitting in the fridge for a few days—throw it in the blender with some nut milk and voila.

3. Pair snacks with a dip

Hummus is a great dip to keep on hand with lots of versatility or you can grab a yogurt-based dip. Easy and healthy dippers include pre-sliced veggies, baby carrots and multigrain tortilla chips. Plain hummus is a great way to introduce seasonings and spices too—shake a little turmeric, add fresh basil and you'd be surprised what your kids will take to.

4. Have high-protein options readily available

Snacks with high protein, like cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, hard boiled eggs and jerky will fuel kids for hours. One of my favorites is a turkey stick, which is a fun addition to the hummus platter. Just slice into bite-sized pieces. I love cottage cheese because it can go savory or sweet, use as a dip with your prepped veggies, or drizzle pure maple syrup and sprinkle with berries.

5. Always keep the pantry stocked

Monthly deliveries keeps the pantry updated without a trip to grocery store. Many kids are big fans of popcorn, granola and pretzels. We like to DIY our own snack packs with a little popcorn, pretzels, nuts and whatever else is in the pantry so there's always something different!

6. Make cracker tartines

I love the idea of replicating popular restaurant dishes for kids. Here are some of my favorite snack-sized tartines using any crisp bread, or favorite flat cracker of your choice as the base. There are no rules and kids love adding toppings and finding new combinations they love.

  • Avocado crackers: Use a cracker and then layer with thinly sliced avocado, a dollop of fresh ricotta cheese topped with roasted pepitas or sunflower seeds.
  • Tacos: The base for this is a black bean spread—just drain a can of black beans, rinse and place into a wide bowl. With a fork or potato masher, lightly smush the beans until chunky. Spread onto your cracker and top with tomato, cheddar cheese and black olives. Try out a dollop of super mild salsa or some lime zest to introduce some new flavor profiles.
  • A play on PB&J: Smear peanut butter, almond or a favorite sun butter on the cracker. I like to get a mix it up a bit and put fresh fruit (strawberries, blueberries and tiny diced apples) and a little bit of dried fruit sprinkled on top.

7. Pre-make smoothie pops

The easy part about meal prep is the prep itself, but knowing exactly how much to make ahead is tricky. Freeze a smoothie in popsicle molds to have a healthy treat ready-to-go snack. They're super simple to make: Add any fruit (I like apples, berries, pineapples and mangoes) and veggies (carrots, steamed beet and wilted kale) to a blender with your favorite nut milk until you have consistency just a bit thinner than a smoothie. Pour into your trusty reusable popsicle molds and then into the freezer to make an ice pop so good they could eat them for breakfast.

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15 toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

Plan Toys

Keeping kids entertained is a battle for all seasons. When it's warm and sunny, the options seem endless. Get them outside and get them moving. When it's cold or rainy, it gets a little tricker.

So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of the best toys for toddlers and kids that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, many are Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these indoor outdoor toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Stomp Racers

As longtime fans of Stomp Rockets, we're pretty excited about their latest launch–Stomp Racers. Honestly, the thrill of sending things flying through the air never gets old. Parents and kids alike can spend hours launching these kid-powered cars which take off via a stompable pad and hose.

$19.99
Buy Now

Step2 Up and Down Rollercoaster

Step2 Up and Down Rollercoaster

Tiny thrill-seekers will love this kid-powered coaster which will send them (safely) sailing across the backyard or play space. The durable set comes with a high back coaster car and 10.75 feet of track, providing endless opportunities for developing gross motor skills, balance and learning to take turns. The track is made up of three separate pieces which are easy to assemble and take apart for storage (but we don't think it will be put away too often!)

$139
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Secret Agent play set

Plan-Toys-Secret-agent-play-set

This set has everything your little secret agent needs to solve whatever case they might encounter: an ID badge, finger scanner, walkie-talkie handset, L-shaped scale and coloring comic (a printable file is also available for online download) along with a handy belt to carry it all along. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40
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Stepping Stones

Stepping-stones

Kiddos can jump, stretch, climb and balance with these non-slip stepping stones. The 20-piece set can be arranged in countless configurations to create obstacle courses, games or whatever they can dream up.

$99.99
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Sand play set

B. toys Wagon & Beach Playset - Wavy-Wagon Red

For the littlest ones, it's easy to keep it simple. Take their sand box toys and use them in the bath! This 12-piece set includes a variety of scoops, molds and sifters that can all be stored in sweet little wagon.

$17.95
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Sensory play set

kidoozie-sand-and-splash-activity-table

Filled with sand or water, this compact-sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$19.95
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Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121
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Foam pogo stick

Flybar-my-first-foam-pogo-stick

Designed for ages 3 and up, My First Flybar offers kiddos who are too young for a pogo stick a frustration-free way to get their jump on. The wide foam base and stretchy bungee cord "stick" is sturdy enough to withstand indoor and outdoor use and makes a super fun addition to driveway obstacle courses and backyard races. Full disclosure—it squeaks when they bounce, but don't let that be a deterrent. One clever reviewer noted that with a pair of needle-nose pliers, you can surgically remove that sucker without damaging the base.

$16.99
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Dumptruck 

green-toys-dump-truck

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyard or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? It's made from recycled plastic milk cartons.

$22
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Hopper ball

Hopper ball

Burn off all that extra energy hippity hopping across the lawn or the living room! This hopper ball is one of the top rated versions on Amazon as it's thicker and more durable than most. It also comes with a hand pump to make inflation quick and easy.

$14.99
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Pull-along ducks

janod-pull-along-wooden-ducks

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$16.99
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Rocking chair seesaw

Slidewhizzer-rocking-chair-seesaw

This built-to-last rocking seesaw is a fun way to get the wiggles out in the grass or in the playroom. The sturdy design can support up to 77 pounds, so even older kiddos can get in on the action.

$79.99
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Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$79.99
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Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$24.75
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Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40
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We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Even 5 hours of screen time per day is OK for school-aged kids, says new study

Researchers found screen time contributes to stronger peer relationships and had no effect on depression and anxiety. So maybe it isn't as bad as we thought?

MoMo Productions/Getty Images

If you've internalized some parental guilt about your own child's screen time usage, you're not alone. Numerous studies have shown that exposure to significant amounts of screen time in children leads to an increased risk of depression and behavioral issues, poor sleep and obesity, among other outcomes. Knowing all this can mean you're swallowing a big gulp of guilt every time you unlock the iPad or turn on the TV for your kiddo.

But is screen time really that bad? New research says maybe not. A study published in September 2021 of 12,000 9- and 10-year-olds found that even when school-aged kids spend up to 5 hours per day on screens (watching TV, texting or playing video games), it doesn't appear to be that harmful to their mental health.

Researchers found no association between screen usage and depression or anxiety in children at this age.

In fact, kids who had more access to screen time tended to have more friends and stronger peer relationships, most likely thanks to the social nature of video gaming, social media and texting.

The correlations between screen time and children's health

But those big social benefits come with a caveat. The researchers also noted that kids who used screens more frequently were in fact more likely to have attention problems, impacted sleep, poorer academic performance and were more likely to show aggressive behavior.

Without a randomized controlled trial, it's hard to nail down these effects as being caused directly by screens. The study's authors analyzed data from a nationwide study known as the Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development Study (ABCD Study), the largest long-term study of brain development and children's health in the country. They relied on self-reported levels of screen time from both children and adults (it's funny to note that those reported numbers differed slightly depending on who was asked… ).

It's important to remember that these outcomes are just correlations—not causations. "We can't say screen time causes the symptoms; instead, maybe more aggressive children are given screen devices as an attempt to distract them and calm their behavior," says Katie Paulich, lead author of the study and a PhD student in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience. Also worth noting is that a child's socioeconomic status has a 2.5-times-bigger impact on behavior than screens.

Weighing the benefits with the risks will be up to you as the parent, who knows your child best. And because we live in a digital world, screens are here to stay, meaning parents often have little choice in the matter. It's impossible to say whether recreational screen time is fully "good" or "bad" for kids. It's maybe both.

"When looking at the strength of the correlations, we see only very modest associations," says Paulich. "That is, any association between screen time and the various outcomes, whether good or bad, is so small it's unlikely to be important at a clinical level." It's all just part of the overall picture.

A novel look at screen time in adolescents

The researchers cite a lack of studies examining the relationship between screen time and health outcomes in this specific early-adolescence age group, which is one of the reasons why this study is so groundbreaking. The findings don't apply to younger children—or older adolescents, who may be starting to go through puberty.

Screen time guidelines do exist for toddlers up to older kids, but up to 1.5 hours per day seems unattainable for many young adolescents, who often have their own smartphones and laptops, or at least regular access to one.

Of course, more research is needed, but that's where this study can be helpful. The ABCD study will follow the 12,000 participants for another 10 years, following up with annual check-ins. It'll be interesting to see how the findings change over time: Will depression and anxiety as a result of screen time be more prevalent as kids age? We'll have to wait and see.

The bottom line? Parents should still be the gatekeepers of their child's screen time in terms of access and age-appropriateness, but, "our early research suggests lengthy time on screen is not likely to yield dire consequences," says Paulich.

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The potty training hack Kristen Bell used to help her 5-year-old out of diapers

No more night diapers 🎉

Kristen Bell

A couple of months ago Kristen Bell practically broke the internet when she publicly shared that her 5-year-old daughter was still wearing diapers at night. As Motherly reported at the time, every kid is different and every potty training experience is different, but the internet did what it does and a controversy was born.

People chimed in with all sorts of parenting and potty training tips for Bell, but in a recent interview with Today's Parent, the celebrity mama and her husband, Dax Shepard, explained that their youngest is now done with diapers at night—so now the tables have turned and they've got a parenting hack to share back to the internet.

"You know what we have to do? We wake her up at about 11 p.m. when she's like a zombie and put her on the toilet," Bell told Today's Parent.

Shepard added: "Yeah, we put a wet spaghetti noodle on the toilet once a night."

According to the couple, their youngest was out of diapers a couple of weeks after the whole internet controversy, but not because of so much unsolicited advice. It was simply because she was ready.

"The Twitterverse was kind of mom-shaming me, which I'm not interested in," said Bell. "So I kept responding with the same thing: 'Every child is different,' which they are. And yes, I have a five-and-a-half-year-old who still sometimes wets the bed and that's OK! But she's getting there."

She continued: "I think it's really normal and no one should feel ashamed if their kid has an irregular pattern for potty training. And if you want to try this 11 o'clock make-them-pee trick, great, there's no shame in any of it. Sometimes it takes kids until they're even older than five! But I've never met a high-schooler who pees their pants all day. It's going to stop at some point."

Experts agree. "In preschool, about 20% of children have daytime incontinence. But, only 5% of teenagers have these symptoms," says pediatric nephrologist Dr. Charles Kwon of the Cleveland Clinic.

But before you decide if Bell's trick will work for you it is worth seeking the advice of a medical professional, because according to Kwon and pediatric urologist Dr. Audrey Rhee, waking up children to urinate at night is not recommended.

These Cleveland Clinic specialists say, "Randomly waking up a child at night and asking them to urinate on demand isn't the answer...It will only lead to more sleeplessness and frustration."

So what is the answer? Here are the potty-training tips Kwon and Rhee recommend:

  • Try an earlier bedtime... your child may be such a deep sleeper because they are not getting enough sleep.
  • Schedule a bathroom break right before they go to bed.
  • Figure out if your child is constipated. According to the Cleveland Clinic, about 33% of kids who wet the bed are actually constipated (the rectum is right behind the bladder so constipation can seem as a bladder problem) but they are unable to identify that as the source of their issue.

Whatever you do, remember that Kristen Bell is right about all kids being different. Your doctor can make recommendations to help, but there is no set schedule for ending bed-wetting or getting out of diapers. It could happen today, or (like in Bell's case) two weeks from now. But have hope, mama. They will get this.

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