I am a proud mom of five, two of whom I have given birth to.

I always knew I wanted a big family, and nine years ago when I had my son after a relatively “easy” and uneventful pregnancy, I assumed conceiving and carrying more babies would be a breeze. Not surprisingly, I was wrong—though I did end up having a positive induction story after my second pregnancy.

But first, I went through six years of unexplained secondary infertility, failed IVF treatments, an ectopic pregnancy, two miscarriages, three surgeries, and a divorce—and had accepted the fact that my dream of having more children, was likely not coming true; at least not biologically.

When I married my now husband and his three children, I could confidently say I had the big family that I always wanted, just not in the way I had hoped. And although I had peace with the fact that this beautiful blended family might be exactly what God had planned for me, the desire to become pregnant again was still there.

So, for two more years, we tried. More treatments, more doctors, more heartache, and more negative pregnancy tests. I even became a step-grandma along the way to a child who we now care for full-time. I was mothering children in every way possible, but still, I longed for more of my own.

Until the day I stood in my bathroom at 6 am and stared down at those two pink lines. I didn’t even have to squint to see them or hold it up to the light.

I was finally pregnant!

The pregnancy and its complications

I wish I could say the next nine months were pure bliss, preparing for the arrival of our miracle baby, but this pregnancy was far from easy. I had hyperemesis gravidarum until week 25, and as soon as that subsided the debilitating migraines kicked in. I then developed symphysis pubis dysfunction, something I had never even heard of until I landed in my OB’s office in extreme pelvic pain at seven months.

This condition (which usually affects second time mothers) is when the ligaments around your pelvis become too relaxed and stretchy providing too little support as your baby grows. I was already carrying low, so the constant unsupported pressure made it somewhat impossible to complete simple tasks such as changing positions in bed or going to the bathroom unassisted without excruciating pain.

But despite the constant struggle, I powered through it as I reminded myself, This is what you’ve always wanted.

At 39 weeks, I could no longer do basic tasks, and I feared that a natural labor wouldn’t be possible given the amount of pain I was already in.

Getting induced at 39 weeks

At our next OB appointment, we were faced with a difficult decision: to induce or not to induce. Because the pain was getting worse and worse, my OB suggested induction. I knew that if I were to wait any longer, labor itself might be unbearable, so I agreed, albeit reluctantly.

Based on my little knowledge of induction and a handful of stories I had heard about from mother’s who had induction stories, I was terrified—I highly suggest NOT googling “induced labor.” Despite my fears, I went ahead with the plan, and we arrived at labor and Delivery the next morning at 7 am, January 3rd. Unfortunately, once we checked in, we were told they were “full,” and we’d have to wait until a room opened up.

We were frustrated because we both didn’t get much sleep the night before and had to get up early to be at the hospital, but we didn’t have much of a choice at that point, so we waited. And waited and waited and waited. By 2 pm, I could barely keep my eyes open and decided there was no way I could go through labor with how exhausted I was feeling.

So that’s when we headed home to take a nap. I closed my eyes for about 45 minutes, and at 4:30 pm, I got a call saying they were ready for us, so we started making our way back to the hospital.

We got into a room at about 6:15 pm, and our nurse started to get things ready. My OB came in to say hello and did an initial cervical check to see where our starting point was. I was already four centimeters dilated and 80% effaced (which can be common for women who have already given birth), so thankfully there was no need for any Cervidil, and we all agreed we could start with the lowest dose of Pitocin.

Our birth: a positive induction story

At about 7:15 pm is when I actually received the first dose, right as my sister arrived at the hospital from the airport. It was just her and my husband with me in the room, and the vibe was relaxed and casual since my contractions started out pretty mellow.

I had expressed to everyone upfront that I wanted to go slow, so the nurse was great at checking in with me every 30 minutes or so to see how I was doing, and if I was comfortable increasing the Pitocin. We continued with a slow increase until about 12 am when she checked me, and I had only progressed to five centimeters.

I was about to ask her to increase at a slightly faster rate, but about five minutes later, I heard a pop and realized my water had just broke (weirdest feeling ever). My contractions quickly intensified. I grabbed my husband’s arm and squeezed him with all my might as each contraction approached quickly.

Despite the fact that my husband and I didn’t make a birth plan, we naturally fell into a rhythm as he synced his breath with mine. It was as if he was transferring his strength to me, and I needed every ounce he had to give. I’ll never forget how connected I felt to him at that moment.

After seeing how much pain I was in, but knowing I didn’t want an epidural, he suggested nitrous oxide (laughing gas), which we had discussed previously as an option to take the edge off. I had a great experience with this as a way to manage the pain and help regulate my breathing—while it didn’t mask the pain, it did make it easier to breathe and relax in between contractions. I think I even cracked a joke at one point about my husband’s coffee breath.

At 1:30 am, I felt the strong urge to push, so the nurse got my doctor and everything ready for delivery. I pushed for about 15 minutes, which felt like the longest 15 minutes of my life. There were a few moments I thought I wasn’t going to be able to get through it, and it felt so different from the pain I remember with my first.

But I distinctly remember in those moments when it felt impossible to go on, reminding myself that this is a moment in time. Not only was my body designed to do this, but it was doing it whether I liked it or not and would continue to do it until I had my baby in my arms.

We had a brief scare towards the end when my doctor told me to stop pushing because the cord was wrapped around her neck (although thankfully, he did not tell me this). He asked me to wait to push with each contraction and was able to cut and release the cord before she was all the way out.

Meeting our miracle baby

Our sweet miracle baby, Emberly Olive, was born at 1:48 am Friday, January 4th, after about six hours of labor and just over one hour of active labor. Although I was shaking a lot (which is normal right after birth due to the hormones and fluid shifts), and a little bit stunned from the pain I had just experienced, I was so overcome with emotion that I was able to block out the negative and focus on my sweet baby.

We got to enjoy her for a full hour, skin-to-skin before the staff cleaned her up and weighed her.

As I process this birth story and the journey that led to this moment, I feel so much gratitude for every struggle that I experienced along the way. Not only did it teach me many valuable lessons, but it gave me the strength and determination to (literally) push through what felt like an impossible situation.

There was something about feeling every moment of bringing this child into the world that was really important to me. I’m not sure I can explain why it just was. And looking back I surprised myself in so many ways (I mean, I can barely handle a paper cut so unmedicated labor wasn’t something I thought would ever happen).

I understand this isn’t everyone’s experience and I genuinely believe that no matter how you arrive at motherhood, it is a miracle.

So, if you are fearful of the process, try to embrace even those hard moments. If you are longing, hoping, wishing for a child, don’t give up, but also remember to give yourself a break. And If you are worried about the way your birth will happen, I encourage you to voice that to your team, but to give yourself permission to deviate from that plan if needed.

This was my path to motherhood, and it was far from what I had “planned,” but exactly as I had dreamed it would be.

To learn more about inducing labor, check out this article: Review of Evidence-Based Methods for Successful Labor Induction – PMC (nih.gov)

Debunking the Myth: Induction and C-Section

One of the most prevalent fears surrounding induction of labor is the belief that it leads to an increased risk of cesarean section (C-section). However, recent studies have challenged this notion, highlighting that induction does not necessarily equate to a higher likelihood of a C-section. In fact, research conducted by the Mayo Clinic found that 75% of individuals who underwent labor induction delivered vaginally[^1]. Another study conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) suggested that elective induction at 39 weeks may actually reduce the likelihood of a C-section[^2]. It’s important to remember that the decision to induce labor is based on medical indications and individual circumstances, and the risks and benefits should be carefully assessed by your healthcare provider.

The Importance of Timing

Timing plays a crucial role when it comes to induction of labor. Waiting for spontaneous labor to occur naturally is ideal, but it’s important to understand that the baby doesn’t have control over when they are ready to come into the world. Going significantly beyond the due date can pose risks to both the mother and the baby. As the pregnancy progresses, the placenta may become less efficient, increasing the chances of complications such as hypertension and preeclampsia. Additionally, the baby may experience reduced oxygen supply, increasing the risk of stillbirth. While some healthcare providers may allow pregnancies to go up to 41 weeks, it’s generally recommended to proceed with induction before 42 weeks to mitigate the risks associated with postmaturity syndrome[^2].

Addressing the Fear of Pain

Labor is often associated with pain, and the fear of intensified pain during an induced labor is a common concern. It’s important to acknowledge that all labor, whether spontaneous or induced, involves some level of pain. The perception of pain can vary from person to person, and each labor experience is unique. While some individuals may argue that the use of Pitocin in induced labor can intensify contractions, it’s crucial to understand that Pitocin is typically administered when natural labor is not progressing adequately. In such cases, stronger and more frequent contractions may be necessary to facilitate the progression of labor. It’s worth noting that pain relief options, such as epidurals, are available to help manage discomfort during labor.

The Role of Communication and Informed Decision-Making

Throughout your pregnancy journey, open communication with your healthcare provider is crucial. If your provider suggests an induction, it’s important to have a clear understanding of the reasons behind their recommendation. Don’t hesitate to ask questions and seek clarification. Being well-informed empowers you to make decisions that align with your values and priorities. It’s advisable to consider the risks, benefits, and alternatives before making a decision. While seeking information online or discussing with friends and family can be helpful, it’s important to remember that each pregnancy is unique, and decisions should be based on professional medical advice.

Embracing the Journey

As the day approaches for the birth of your baby, it’s natural to experience a mix of emotions, including excitement, nervousness, and even fear. Remember that the process of induction, when medically indicated, is undertaken with the well-being of both you and your baby in mind. By staying informed, communicating openly with your healthcare provider, and understanding the facts surrounding induction of labor, you can approach the experience with confidence, embracing the journey into parenthood.

Q&A Section:

Q1: Can you share your experience with secondary infertility and the challenges you faced?

A1: Certainly. After an “easy” first pregnancy, I experienced six years of unexplained secondary infertility, multiple failed IVF treatments, an ectopic pregnancy, two miscarriages, three surgeries, and eventually a divorce. It was a challenging period where I had to accept the possibility that my dream of having more children might not come true biologically.

Q2: How did your blended family with your now-husband and his three children impact your desire for more children?

A2: Marrying my now-husband, who had three children, gave me the big family I desired, albeit not in the way I initially hoped. While I found peace in this blended family, the desire to become pregnant again remained. We continued trying for two more years, facing more treatments and heartaches, until the day I discovered I was finally pregnant.

Q3: Can you elaborate on the complications you faced during your pregnancy?

A3: Despite the joy of being pregnant, it wasn’t an easy journey. I experienced hyperemesis gravidarum until week 25, followed by debilitating migraines. Additionally, I developed symphysis pubis dysfunction, causing extreme pelvic pain. These complications made the pregnancy challenging, but I powered through, reminding myself that it was what I always wanted.

Q4: Why did you decide to undergo induction at 39 weeks, and how did you feel about it?

A4: At 39 weeks, the pain became unbearable, and facing a choice to induce or not, my OB suggested induction. Reluctantly, I agreed, fearing the unknown and the horror stories I had heard about induced labor. Despite my fears, we proceeded, and it turned out to be a positive experience.

Q5: Can you describe your induction process and the decision-making involved?

A5: We arrived at the hospital at 7 am for the induction, but due to a full labor and delivery unit, we had to wait until a room became available. Frustrated and exhausted, we decided to go home for a nap. We returned at 6:15 pm, started the induction process, and gradually increased Pitocin. Despite initial concerns, the labor progressed naturally, and I chose to go unmedicated.

Q6: What was your experience with pain management during labor?

A6: As my contractions intensified, my husband suggested nitrous oxide (laughing gas) as an alternative to an epidural. It helped manage the pain and regulate my breathing, making it easier to endure contractions. Although it didn’t mask the pain entirely, the support from my husband and the use of nitrous oxide created a positive and connected birthing experience.

Q7: Were there any unexpected challenges during labor, and how did you overcome them?

A7: Towards the end of labor, there was a brief scare when the doctor discovered the cord wrapped around the baby’s neck. Despite the momentary worry, the doctor handled the situation, and I successfully delivered our baby girl. The experience reinforced my belief in the strength of my body and its ability to overcome challenges.

Q8: How did you feel when you finally met your miracle baby, Emberly Olive?

A8: Meeting Emberly Olive was an overwhelming moment of joy and emotion. Despite the challenges throughout the pregnancy and labor, the gratitude for every struggle and the realization of becoming a mother again overshadowed the difficulties. Holding her skin-to-skin after delivery was a cherished experience.

Q9: What message do you have for others facing challenges on their path to motherhood?

A9: If you are facing challenges on your path to motherhood, whether through infertility, treatments, or unexpected turns, my message is not to give up. Embrace the hard moments, seek support, and remember that the journey to motherhood is unique for everyone. It might not follow the plan, but it can still be a miracle in its own way.

Q10: How do you address the common fear surrounding induction and its supposed association with a higher risk of C-section?

A10: The fear of induction leading to a higher risk of C-section is a common concern. However, recent studies challenge this notion, emphasizing that induction does not necessarily increase the likelihood of a C-section. It’s essential to communicate openly with healthcare providers, understand individual circumstances, and make informed decisions based on professional advice rather than solely relying on general fears or anecdotes.

A version of this story was first published August 22, 2019. It has been updated.