Can I be honest guys? I want to talk about the first few weeks of postpartum. The breastfeeding, the connection to your baby, the new life you enter… Not the beautiful parts, but the ugly.

The media shows mothers after birth as fully groomed, well-rested, happy as ever with their new baby and their new perfect life. But that isn’t the case for most moms. I imagined the second time around would be easier but it was actually harder. Labor was longer with excruciating pain, my body took longer to heal, breastfeeding the second time around was more painful than I could ever imagine and the connection to my baby was faint.

This is a picture of me mid-meltdown during my second week as a mom of two. I just got done breastfeeding for what felt like the 100th time and my husband had just entered the room asking if I needed anything, and I said no.

When he walked out, I just broke down. Because there were SO many things I needed.

I needed breastfeeding to get easier.

I needed my nipples to stop bleeding and heal.

I needed SLEEP.

I needed to feel connected to my precious baby in my arms.

I needed to stop feeling guilty for not being the perfect ideal mom and for not being the veteran mom I thought I was.

I needed to be less harsh on myself.

I needed more than my husband could give me.

I took this photo because I knew this time would pass and I wanted to be reminded later what I overcame. And now I’m sharing it with all the mamas that need to hear: You are not alone and these hardships will end!

Things are looking brighter on my end and it will for you guys, too. Stay strong, mamas.