A letter to all the moms who have lost a baby

I hear the hurt in your voice as I speak to you on the phone, telling me your devastating news. My heart shatters, and I think—how could this be? Why has this happened? I want to take away your pain and throw my arms around you. I want to carry you through these murky waters.

But I can’t. I can help—I can support and love and pray and bring you food and offer assistance. But you must grieve. You must work through your feelings internally as well as externally, with your partner. And you will. You two are strong. You two are perfect for each other. You two will get through this.

But it will take time. Time and pain and healing and love.

If you need someone to sit with you and your sadness, tell me. I will be there.

If you need everyone you know to give you space to grieve, tell me. I’ll spread the word.

If you need someone to find you a support group, tell me. I’ll do the research.

If you want to talk to a therapist, tell me. I’ll make an appointment for you.

If you need groceries but don’t want to leave the house, tell me. I’ll go for you, or I’ll order them.

If you need to take your mind off things, tell me. I’ll give you great TV or movie recommendations.

If you need to get out of the house, tell me. I’ll book you a massage or I’ll take you to a play.

I will try to anticipate what you need and I’ll do anything you want. Anything to help.

But you might just want space. And that’s okay. That’s more than okay. I know that that’s probably what I would want, too. This is a terrible, heartbreaking, unbearable situation and you might need some breathing room. I won’t push through that, but I will keep texting to check in.

Because I just want to make sure you know I am here. I just want to make sure you know that I’m thinking of you. I just want to make sure you know you are not alone.

And just know that I’m here the second you ask for help.

I wish I could take away your pain. Or give you the reasoning behind why this happened. But the truth is—no one really knows why this happens to some people and not others, so it’s hard to make sense of any of this. And maybe now is not the time for understanding, anyway, maybe now is just the time to get through it—as best you can.

So put yourself and your partner first right now. Do whatever you need to do. Skip out on events you don’t want to go to. Take a lot of time off from work. Don’t take a lot of time off from work if you want a distraction. Go out with friends. Stay in a be a hermit for a while. Scream. Cry. Punch pillows. Do yoga. Meditate. Pray. Journal. Do what you need to do to process and feel and grieve. There's no 'right' way to do this.

Don’t worry about what other people might think. Or what other people would do. Or what other people have to say.

This time right now is solely about you, your partner, and your heartache. The world is going to continue moving—even though yours has stopped right in its tracks. But that doesn’t make your pain any easier or the heavy weight on your heart any lighter. It might even feel like watching everyone move on with their lives makes things a bit harder for you.

You see their Facebook vacation pictures, and their nights out on their Instagram stories. You may hear about the way their toddler is wearing on their last nerve or how they have “so much to do today!” And while your body aches in pain and your soul is filled with sadness, you may feel like your pain is invisible to them.

But its not. We still remember, but we just may not know exactly what to do.

And, so, remember—it’s okay to reach out to me. At any time. Days after, months after, years after. It’s okay to say, “Hey, I know you have your own life and your own stuff—but I need you right now.”

Because it’s okay to need help.

It’s okay to let people in.

It’s okay to be vulnerable.

I know it’s not easy—not even close—but it is okay.

I am here when you need me, my friend. I cry with you, I hurt with you—and my heart breaks for you.

Together, we will get you through this.

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Who says you have to wait for birthdays or holidays to give your bestie a great gift? A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs in these more-than-trying times. We've rounded up some of our favorite go-to gifts that are certain to be a bright spot in her week. But be warned, you may want to snag a few for yourself. (You deserve it, mama.)

Here are some our favorite "just because" gifts to give our hardworking mama friends.

New Mother face + body care duo

volition face + body care duo

This correcting oil and stretch mark minimizer is perfect for the pregnant mama looking to keep her pregnancy glow. The correcting oil brightens the skin while reducing dark spots, and the stretch mark minimizer works to smooth her ever-growing belly.


Allover roller

esker allover roller

This jade roller goes beyond your typical face roller and can be used anywhere on the body. It works to increase stimulation and reduce puffiness and is perfect for applying any oils to the face or body. Plus, it feels like a mini spa treatment.


Kombucha making kit

farmsteady kombucha making kit

What could be a more perfect gift for the health-obsessed friend? This kombucha making kit comes with everything you need to brew your own homemade green tea kombucha. They'll think this is the tastiest gift ever.


Laetitia lipstick

cupid & psyche laetitia

This red lipstick is perfect for your makeup enthusiast bestie who is looking to spruce up her life in quarantine. Crafted in the United States, these bee and vegan-friendly and cruelty-free lipsticks are created to flatter all complexions. Cupid and Psyche Beauty makes finding the perfect red lip way too easy!


Jigsaw puzzle

inner piecec jigsaw puzzle

Mamas need to destress now more than ever during quarantine. This adorable jigsaw puzzle is perfect for the mama who needs a brain break! The 500-piece puzzle designed by artist Ray Oranges features an abstract gradient design that fits a standard frame when completed. Bonus: It's printed on recycled paper and the company donates $1 from every puzzle sold to youth mindfulness programs.


Matilda's Bloombox

matilda's bloombox

If we have to be stuck inside, we might as well have some gorgeous florals to brighten up the space. Matilda's Bloombox locally sources blooms, delivers them to her door and provides simple tips on how to arrange it into a beautiful bouquet.


'I Am Enough' bracelet

I Am Enough bracelet

Let this dainty bracelet serve as a constant reminder to your bestie that she is enough. She'll wear this on her wrist and read this daily oath to herself, "I Am Enough."


Glow assorted teas

vahdam low assorted teas

This tea gift box set covers the entire spectrum of flavors from sweet to spicy. Individually packaged in beautiful tins, your gal pal will feel like a queen sipping her morning tea. Originally $40, this set is currently on sale for just $24. We'll take two, please.


Find your voice journal

find your voice journal

Journaling is a great way to ease anxiety and will slow your bestie's racing mind before bed. This gift is perfect for first time journalists and includes prompts, daily quotes and coloring pages to help her unlock her potential and find her voice.


Premium frother

shore magic premium frother

This gift is fitting for your latte-sipping bestie who can't go a day without her coffee. All she has to do is add two scoops of collagen to her favorite drink, and she'll have a perfectly foamy drink ready in seconds. Skipping the drive-thru line has never been so easy!


Bath soak infusion kit

maude bath soak infusion kit

Say hello to hydration! She'll be feeling smooth and relaxed as ever after a long bath soaking in these salts. This vegan + cruelty-free set incorporates dead sea salt and dehydrated coconut milk powder for an ultra hydrating experience.


Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

It's a hard-earned title she answers to a hundred times per day. Whether she's new to the club or a seasoned professional, this delicate script 'mama' necklace is guaranteed to be a perfect fit.


Superfood honey

Beekeeper's Naturals B.Powered honey

With a lack of sleep and jam-packed days, getting through the afternoon can be a real challenge. Send her a powerful pick-me-up in the form of a therapeutic blend of royal jelly, bee pollen, propolis and raw honey. It makes the ideal companion for tea, smoothies, yogurt or even on its on.


Calming midnight mask with melatonin

Who doesn't deserve a reminder to pamper themself every once in awhile? Even better, this mask does all its work at night while you're sleeping with no extra effort needed. It's an amazing plant-powered antioxidant-packed mask that has melatonin, wild dandelion leaf and hyaluronic acid to rehydrate, repair and reset facial skin. It's so good, you might want to gift it to yourself. We won't tell, mama.


We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


One of our main goals as mothers is to encourage our children to learn, grow and play. They start out as our tiny, adorable babies who need us for everything, and somehow, before you know it, they grow into toddlers with ideas and opinions and desires of their own.

You may be hearing a lot more of "I do it!" or maybe they're pushing your hand away as a signal to let you know, I don't need your help, Mama. That's okay. They're just telling you they're ready for more independence. They want to be in charge of their bodies, and any little bit of control their lives and abilities allow.

So, instead of challenging your toddler's desire for autonomy, we found five of our favorite products to help encourage independence—and eliminate frustration in the process.

EKOBO Bamboo 4-piece kid set

EKOBO bamboo 4-piece kid set

This colorful set includes a plate, cup, bowl and spoon and is just right for your child's meal experience. Keep them in an easy-to-reach cabinet so they'll feel encouraged (and excited!) to get their own place setting each time they eat.


Puj PhillUp hangable kids cups

Puj PhillUp hangable kids cups

Before you know it, your little one will be asking (okay, maybe demanding) to fill their own water cups. This amazing 4-pack of cups attaches directly to the fridge (or any glass, metal, tile or fiberglass surface) making it easier for your child to grab a cup themselves. Just be sure a water pitcher or dispenser is nearby, and—boom!—one task off your plate.


Wise Elk puzzle tower blocks

Wise Elk puzzle tower blocks

These beautiful blocks, made from sustainably-sourced wood and water-based, non-toxic, lead-free paint, will keep your little one focused on their creation while they're also busy working on their fine-motor skills. The puzzle design will encourage patience as your kiddo creates their own building, fitting one block in after the next.


Lorena Canals basket

Lorena Canals Basket

This *gorgeous* braided cotton basket is the perfect, accessible home for their blocks (and whatever else you want to hide away!) so your kiddo can grab them (and clean them up) whenever their heart desires.


BABYBJÖRN step stool

BABYBJ\u00d6RN Step Stool

Your kiddo might be ready to take on the world, but they might need an extra boost to do so—cue, a step stool! An easy-to-move lightweight stool is the must-have confidence-boosting tool you need in your home so your growing tot can reach, well... the world.


We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


Our list of 100 baby names that should be on everyone's list this year includes more choices than in the past of names that are obscure and surprising. That's because there are so many more unusual baby names coming into widespread use and baby namers have become a lot more adventurous.

Expectant parents do not need to be told to move beyond Jennifer and Jason. Their thinking about names has evolved to the point that the most useful thing we can do is offer a large menu of intriguing choices.

Here are our picks for the 100 best surprising + unusual baby names now.

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