If I could talk to myself as a young mother 30+ years ago just starting my career, here’s what I would say:
Trudy, are you listening to me? Just stop and look at me for a second...
You love your kids.
Do you understand what I’m saying to you? You are their mother.
God gave them to you and Mike. On purpose. No one else is better at being their mom than you. So don’t you dare compare yourself to anybody else. Ever. No, your next-door-neighbor, stay-at-home mom is NOT a better mom than you. That is a lie. So kick that out. In fact, kick out the whole itty-bitty-pity committee right now. Kick it out and lock the door behind it. Because it serves nothing except bringing lies and guilt into your mind. And those aren’t truth.
The truth is that you are a great mom.
You will raise great kids. Kids who will learn how to enjoy life, love people, work hard and never give up. You will raise these kids to be leaders. Yes, Trudy. They’ll learn those things from you. Their working mom.
Their mom. You.
You want one piece of advice? Just one? From a mom looking back...
Spend time with those kids when you can.
Not by doing or buying—just by being. Listen to them, I mean REALLY listen to them. Look them in the eye. Hug them. Tell them you love them...even when they don’t want to hear it. You tell them.
I know you’re so very busy right now and can’t see it. But I see you. I see what an amazing mother—what an amazing woman—you are. I see how much you love those children. I see how tired you are. I see how many directions you feel pulled. I see your love for your job. I see your ability. I see your guilt. I see all of it.
I see you. And here’s what I want you to say to yourself every single day. Repeat it to yourself over and over, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Just as you are.
Some of you reading this are young working moms just like I was. Or maybe you’ve been a mom for a while, but you’re still struggling to feel good about your role as a parent and a professional. Right this minute you could be fighting to keep it all together. You feel like you aren’t. I know. I remember.
But let me tell you something — you are. Take my words to heart. Plant them there and let them germinate and grow.
They are for you. You were made for such a time as this. And you are a great mother.
Just as you are.