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True life: My friends have always been the center of my world—until I had a baby

I'm loving my new role as a mother, and I think I'm doing a pretty great job. But I also miss being able to be a good friend.

True life: My friends have always been the center of my world—until I had a baby

Dear friends,

Please forgive me.

I may be an imperfect human in many ways, but there's one area of life I got right: I'm a good friend. I listen. I make plans. I make phone calls. I show up.

The relationships I've built with you all—which range from elementary school buds to college roommates to my own siblings—are incredibly important to me. Being a good friend to you is part of the fabric of my identity. You top my list of priorities.

And then... I had a baby. This wonderful, sweet, spunky daughter became the center of my world overnight and takes up all of the time I once invested in my friendships.

Now my sentences are fragmented, broken by cries of hunger or bedtime. And the time I do spend with you guys includes heading to another room for hours at a time so that my easily distracted little munchkin will actually eat and take a nap. As we both know, most of my texts start with, "So sorry I didn't see this!"

I'm one of the first of us to have children, which makes it a little bit harder to turn down the invites to celebrate 30th birthdays in Mexico or go to bachelorette parties. I may say it's because money is tight or I'm breastfeeding, but truthfully, I can't yet imagine leaving my daughter for even one night.

I'm loving my new role as a mother, and I think I'm doing a pretty great job. But I also miss being able to be a good friend.

As I nurse my baby to sleep, I imagine days in the future when my children have grown and I can take off for a girls weekend, and we can spend hours drinking margaritas by a pool. I remind myself to email you about these dreams, but of course, I never find the time.

When I do get a few spare moments, I choose to spend them having an actual conversation with my husband, who deserves his own letter of gratitude—but we are in this together, so he gets it.

For now, I ask you, my dear friends, for forgiveness and patience. Please don't forget me. I am still here.

And I already know you don't forget me because you show up for me—wanting to love my little girl the way that I already do.

You send me videos of how you sang her a bunch of lullabies. You booked plane tickets to see us. You bring food, and paper plates and you change diapers.

And when you ask how I am and I answer that my baby laughed for the first time, you smile and cheer, but then remember to ask, "Yes, but how are you?"

I am in a stage of life where my well-being will always come second to me—but not to you. You remember to look for me, to see me beyond my role of mother.

To my friends, thank you. I love you. I need your stories and your laughter now more than ever. Thank you for having the grace to understand that I just may need to hear you in smaller increments of time.

One day we can laugh about this over margaritas by the pool. 😉

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One of our main goals as mothers is to encourage our children to learn, grow and play. They start out as our tiny, adorable babies who need us for everything, and somehow, before you know it, they grow into toddlers with ideas and opinions and desires of their own.

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I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have kids—so here’s what I did

We asked our three most pessimistic friends who have kids whether it's worth it or not

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