Motherhood is tough, but good. As a mom who also writes about Millennial life, I have discovered three essential elements to help modern women embrace these changes, lessons that I pass along to new moms I know and meet along the way. Here are three things I’ve learned about how to make motherhood work today:
1. Embrace the good ways that you’ve changed, like getting smarter. Sure, college broadened my interests in various subjects, and helped me to grow in my chosen field of study. Being married has taught me how to live in-tune with another complex human being. But being a mom has helped me organize and problem-solve faster than I could before. When you have a little ball of chaos constantly threatening order you learn to identify the key factors, take variables into account and execute more quickly. It’s like I can divide how many hours of running errands by how many stops, and arrive to a perfect number of diapers, crackers and fruit snacks to put in my purse.
2. Find friends who love being a parent. I actually haven’t run into many people who don’t like being a parent, but I’m just sayin’ find the ones who really enjoy it. I talked with a couple I ran into in Santa Monica a while ago with two sons. One parent said to me “It’s just awesome, isn’t it? We love it.” I paused for a second, sort of surprised by the spontaneous candor, and replied “Yea, it really is, actually.” It made me feel good to see other parents taking their parenting experience seriously, and also enjoying it. I also have a couple friends I hang out with often who have kids around my sons age. The more you see other parents enjoying the ride, and sharing the bumps along the way, the more you’re able to enjoy it as well. Plus, your kid will make friends too, and there is nothing cuter than your little kid’s “buddies.”
If you’re a creature of comfort find ways to help your kids get energy out as you recharge your natural zen state. They may need to climb up and go down a slide 80 times, but at the end of the day you’re the one to hold them as they go to sleep. Gentleness and patience are totally underrated parenting qualities.
If you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, or are an adrenaline-junkie you may find in your kids the only people in your life that have the same level of energy that you do. Of course you can’t go skydiving or extreme rock-climbing with them, but they may surprise you with the level of ridiculousness they naturally possess. Just make sure to get the basics down of child-raising: food, diaper changes, doctor appointments, bed time and bath time. And, of course, make sure the kids are safe at all times.