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Everyone’s idea of the perfect birth is different, and chances are it won’t go according to plan. That doesn't mean you can't be prepared. We asked Birth Day Presence co-founder Jada Shapiro to give us the lowdown on how to put together the perfect birth. Here's 8 tips that will help you lay the foundation for the perfect birth day.

1. Figure out where you want to give birth and choose your care providers accordingly. The most important decisions, in our opinion, are who is going to deliver your baby and where do you want to give birth. Some of what you are hoping for should influence who you hire as your birth team and where you plan to give birth. So consider whether you would like to use pain medication or not during your birth. Consider how much freedom of movement you would like to have. Do you want to have the option to give birth in a tub? Do you want to be able to bring lots of support people with you? Do you hope to avoid a cesarean unless absolutely medically necessary? All these factors will dictate your choices. The mom who hopes to give birth in the water is not going to choose Labor and Delivery in a hospital. The mom who definitely wants to use an epidural early in her labor is not going to give birth in a birthing center. The mom who truly hopes to avoid an unnecessary cesarean will not work with a doctor who has a 50% c-section rate.

2. Be clear with your provider...and your partner. Sit down, alone or with your partner, and really get clear on what is most important to you. The more clear you are, the more effective you will be at communicating your hopes to your care provider. Take this document into your care provider well before you give birth to make sure you and your midwife or doctor are on the same page about giving birth. As hard as it is to switch care providers mid-pregnancy, it is much harder to find out during labor that they don’t support you!

3. Keep it short, concise and positive! You should keep your birth plan to 1-2 pages max. Ideally one page. Resume-like. Clear and concise. And in a positive voice. The last thing anyone wants to receive is a long list of things they don’t want you to do to them. So for example, don’t write: Don’t give me an IV. Better: I would prefer to eat and drink to remain hydrated and nourished. Please offer me an IV only in the case that I am dehydrated or need specific medicines for my labor.

4. Make a copy for everyone who's taking part. Give a copy to your midwife or doctor, bring one for your nurse, give one to your doula, and have three extra copies. Keep it in a folder with other important documents in your birth bag.

5. Hand it over with an explanation...and good manners. The best way to get a nurse to read your birth preferences is to take a moment to introduce yourself to her, and then kindly ask if she would mind reading through some of your preferences when she has a little time. Respect her time and her job and you will find you will have a lot easier time with some of the negotiable aspects of childbirth. Note: If you are refusing all care that is standard where you plan to give birth, you may want to switch care providers or birth places.

6. Keep it organized. We generally recommend that you begin with a short paragraph directed to your care provider, in which you thank them for assisting you with the pregnancy and birth and tell them that the following are your wishes under ideal conditions. It helps to note that you are happy to have their medical expertise and that you love to be informed and hope that they will inform you about anything which needs to be done during their care. Then organize your birth plan by the stages of labor. You can also add in a bit about in case induction becomes necessary and in case of cesarean birth.

7. Even a home birth can benefit from a plan, especially when thinking about contingencies. In a home birth setting, you can be a bit more luxurious with your vision, including how you envision laboring, what kind of pain relief you imagine might help and environmental factors that will help you. You should absolutely write an “In Case of Transfer Plan” though. This can be packed in your hospital bag which will only come out if your midwife determines you need to give birth at the hospital.

8. Remember that birth seldom goes according to your plan. You should plan that birth won’t go according to your plan! Going to a childbirth class that addresses issues like this and helps prepare women to meet whatever their labor asks of them can help. Talking with a therapist or close friends or your doctor or midwife can also help. If you find that in writing your birth plan, you are adamant about avoiding a procedure, try to talk with your care provider about how best to deal with the procedure if it becomes medically necessary. Your birth preferences are a general guideline. Ultimately, if medical necessity dictates changes in the labor, hopefully you have chosen a care provider you trust! The best we can do for ourselves as birthing mothers is choose the best team of support and then step back and let labor unfold.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

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Baby stuff comes in such cute prints these days. Gone are the days when everything was pink and blue and covered in ducks or teddy bears. Today's baby gear features stylish prints that appeal to mom.

That's why it's totally understandable how a mama could mistake a car seat cover for a cute midi skirt. It happened to Lori Farrell, and when she shared her mishap on Facebook she went viral before she was even home from work. Fellow moms can totally see the humor in Farrell's mishap, and thankfully, so can she.

As for how a car seat cover could be mistaken for a skirt—it's pretty simple, Farrell tells Motherly.

"A friend of mine had given me a huge lot of baby stuff, from clothes to baby carriers to a rocker and blankets and when I pulled it out I was not sure what it was," she explains. "I debated it but washed it anyway then decided because of the way it pulled on the side it must be a maternity skirt."

Farrell still wasn't 100% sure if she was right by the time she headed out the door to work, but she rocked the ambiguous attire anyway.

"When I got to work I googled the brand and realized not only do they not sell clothing but it was a car seat cover."

The brand, Itzy Ritzy, finds the whole thing pretty funny too, sharing Farell's viral moment to its official Instagram.

It may be a car seat cover, but that print looks really good on this mama.

And if you want to copy Farell's style, the Itzy Ritzy 4-in-1 Nursing Cover, Car Seat Cover, Shopping Cart Cover and Infinity Scarf (and skirt!) is available on Amazon for $24.94.

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy.You've got this.

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Daycare for infants is expensive across the country, and California has one of the worst states for parents seeking care for a baby. Putting an infant in daycare in California costs $2,914 more than in-state tuition for four years of college, according to the Economic Policy Institute.

Paying north of $1,000 for daycare each month is an incredible burden, especially on single-parent families. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services defines affordable childcare as costing no more than 10% of a family's income—by that definition, less than 29% of families in California can afford infant care. Some single parents spend half their income on day care. It is an incredible burden on working parents.

But that burden may soon get lighter. CBS Sacramento reports California may put between $25 and $35 million into child care programs to make day care more affordable for parents with kids under 3 years old.

Assembly Bill 452, introduced this week, could see $10 million dollars funneled into Early Head Start (which currently gets no money from the state but does get federal funding) and tens of millions more would be spent on childcare for kids under three.

The bill seeks to rectify a broken childcare system. Right now, only about 14% of eligible infants and toddlers are enrolled in subsidized programs in California, and in 2017, only 7% of eligible children younger than three years of age accessed Early Head Start.

An influx of between $25 to $35 million dollars could see more spaces open up for kids under three, as Bill 452, if passed, would see the creation of "grants to develop childcare facilities that serve children from birth to three years of age."

This piece of proposed legislation comes weeks after California's governor announced an ambitious plan for paid parental leave, and as another bill, AB 123, seeks to strengthen the state's pre-kindergarten program.

Right now, it is difficult for some working parents to make a life in California, but by investing in families, the state's lawmakers could change that and change California's future for the better.

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When a mama gets married, in most cases she wants her children to be part of her big day. Photographers are used to hearing bride-to-be moms request lots of pictures of their big day, but when wedding photographer Laura Schaefer of Fire and Gold Photography heard her client Dalton Mort planned to wear her 2-year-old daughter Ellora instead of a veil, she was thrilled.

A fellow mama who understands the benefits of baby-wearing, Schaefer was keen to capture the photos Mort requested. "When I asked Dalton about what some of her 'must get' shots would be for her wedding, she specifically asked for ones of her wearing Ellie, kneeling and praying in the church before the tabernacle," Schaefer tells Motherly.

She got those shots and so many more, and now Mort's toddler-wearing wedding day pics are going viral.

"Dalton wore Ellie down the aisle and nursed her to sleep during the readings," Schaefer wrote on her blog, explaining that Ellie then slept through the whole wedding mass.

"As a fellow mother of an active toddler, this is a HUGE win! Dalton told me after that she was SO grateful that Ellie slept the whole time because she was able to focus and really pray through the Mass," Schaefer explains.

Dalton was able to concentrate on her wedding day because she made her baby girl a part of it (and that obviously tired Ellie right out).

Ellie was part of the commitment and family Dalton if forging with her husband, Jimmy Joe. "There is no better behaved toddler than a sleeping toddler, and she was still involved, even though I ended up unwrapping her to nurse her. I held her in my arms while my husband and I said our vows. It was really special for us," Dalton told POPSUGAR.

This is a wedding trend we are totally here for!

Congrats to Dalton and Jimmy Joe (and to Ellie)! 🎉

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The internet is freaking out about how Peppa Pig is changing the way toddlers speak, but parents don't need to be too worried.

As Romper first reported, plenty of American parents have noticed that preschoolers are picking up a bit of a British accent thanks to Peppa. Romper's Janet Manley calls it "the Peppa effect," noting that her daughter started calling her "Mummy" after an in-flight Peppa marathon.


Plenty of other parents report sharing Manley's experience, but the British accent is not likely to stick, experts say.

Toronto-based speech and language pathologist Melissa James says this isn't a new thing—kids have always been testing out the accents they hear on TV and in the real world, long before Peppa oinked her way into our Netflix queues.

"Kids have this amazing ability to pick up language," James told Global News. "Their brains are ripe for the learning of language and it's a special window of opportunity that adults don't possess."

Global News reports that back in the day there were concerns about Dora The Explorer potentially teaching kids Spanish words before the kids had learned the English counterparts, and over in the U.K., parents have noticed British babies picking up American accents from TV, too.

But it's not a bad thing, James explains. When an American adult hears "Mummy" their brain translates it to "Mommy," but little kids don't yet make as concrete a connection. "When a child, two, three or four, is watching a show with a British accent and hears [words] for the first time, they are mapping out the speech and sound for that word in the British way."

So if your baby is oinking at you, calling you "Mummy" or testing out a new pronunciation of "toh-mah-toe," know that this is totally natural, and they're not going to end up with a life-long British pig accent.

As Dr, Susannah Levi, associate professor of communicative sciences and disorders at New York University, tells The Guardian, "it's really unlikely that they'd be acquiring an entire second dialect from just watching a TV show."

It sure is cute though.

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