I miss my friends so much

Sure, my kids miss their friends a lot—but so do I.

quarantine has me missing my friends

Like most of us, I have spent the last two months in quarantine with my husband and two children. As chaos coordinators, my husband and I manage our children's education and play, our own workload, grocery deliveries, toilet paper orders and our home art supply inventory.

One of the bigger things we've faced through all this is navigating the roller coaster of emotions our children are dealing with. Their lives have been completely uprooted. They are missing so much of their "regular" lives—structure, school, family—but above all else, they are really missing their friends.

And while navigating their emotions and feelings are a priority, I have some feelings of my own.

I miss my friends, too. A lot.

I am an extrovert by nature. A planner. A (really, really) good hugger. It is truly part of my DNA to gather and host. I love to see people together. As a working mom of two, I have traded in my days of throwing big parties and wild nights out in exchange for fire pit parties, girls nights out, playdates and the coveted occasional spa day.

As with everything, most of these are planned way in advance with hundreds of texts in anticipation of the event and of course a few inevitable reschedules. Add in our impromptu date nights and, as my daughter would say, my bucket is filled with friendship love.

Although I am blessed with an amazing husband and two wonderful, crazy kids, my bucket of friendship love is definitely a lot lighter right now. It is hard not having the IRL support of my friends.

I have tried to find new ways to connect with them. Weekly Zoom calls with my college friends have been a lifeline. Video chats with my old beach house girls make me feel like myself again. Virtually watching a bad reality TV show with former co-workers has been my midweek relief. And my daily (more like hourly) texts with my best friend where we communicate via memes and puppy videos is pretty much what gets me through the day. I am so appreciative for these moments.

But it isn't enough.

My extrovert self is struggling.

This isolation is getting to me.

I miss my friends.

I miss us sneaking out for pedicures.

I miss our kids' playdates. The ones we scheduled for the real reason of us moms being able to see each other.

I miss randomly running into friends at Starbucks and spending an extra 10 minutes catching up.

I miss getting the girls together to try out the new restaurant in town.

I miss hugs.

I miss seeing them at Friday pickup, with the joint celebratory acknowledgment of the fact that "we made it!"

I miss planning brunches that end up lasting six hours.

I miss the random texts of, "Are you free? Was going to stop by to say hi."

I miss touching a friend's arm—whether out of comfort or from barreling over in laughter.

I miss planning my annual getaway with my bestie.

It's not like these things happened weekly. Okay fine—sometimes not even monthly. But I miss knowing I had the chance to see them this weekend or next month or even in five months. I knew it was coming, I could hold onto that. And, for now, it's not.

I am longing for what life was like so very long ago—you know, in February.

There are times when I want to break the social distancing barrier that has kept me housebound and get together with a few friends who I know have been following the rules. I went as far as to make plans last week with two friends to sit on the lawn together, six-plus feet apart, post-bedtime with tumblers in hand. But after talking to my husband, I had to take a breath and remember there is a reason why we are doing this, so I canceled.

Social distancing is one of the most effective tools in combating COVID-19. We have been told to stay home unless you're an essential worker or you need to go out for healthcare services or household necessities.

As much as I would like to convince myself that my sanity and need for contact could somehow fit into the grouping of necessities, I couldn't justify the risk. So I washed my hair and had a good cry instead of hanging with my friends.

It is hard to remember that this is only a moment in time and that, eventually, we will get back to normal—whatever that will look like.

That's what we are telling our kids, after all, right?

So, for now, I will continue to put the safety of my family first, doing my part to fight this and hope that one day soon I will be sitting in the yard or at a restaurant or on vacation, laughing with a friend, filling that proverbial bucket with so much friendship love.

Until then, my friends, in case you didn't get the point—I miss you. I REALLY MISS YOU.

In This Article

    An expectant mama's to-do list can feel endless… but here's the good news: A lot of those tasks are actually really exciting. Planning your baby registry is especially thrilling: You get a say in what gifts friends and family members will buy for your new addition!

    But it can also feel a bit overwhelming to make sense of all the gear on the market. That's why we suggest mentally dividing your registry into two categories: items you need to prepare for your baby's arrival and items that sure would be nice to have.

    Here at Motherly, our editors have dozens of kids and years of parenting experience among us, so we know our way around the essentials. We also know how mama-friendly the registry-building experience is with Target, especially thanks to their recently upgraded registry and introduction of Year of Benefits. Just by creating your baby registry with Target, you'll snag a kit with $120 in discounts and samples. The savings keep coming: You'll also get two 15% off coupons to buy unpurchased items from your registry for up to a year after your baby's expected arrival. Change your mind about anything? The Year of Benefits allows for returns or exchanges for a full year. And as of August 2020, those who also sign up for Target Circle when creating a baby registry will also get the retailer's Year of Exclusive Deals, which includes ongoing discounts on baby essentials for a full year.

    Here are 10 items we agree deserve a spot in the "need" category on your registry, mama.

    A crib to grow with your baby

    Delta Children Farmhouse 6-in-1 Convertible Crib

    First-time mamas are likely creating nursery spaces for the first time, and that can get expensive. Adding a quality crib to Target registry gives friends and family members the option to join forces to make a large purchase through group gifting.


    A safe + convenient car seat

    Safety 1st OnBoard 35 LT Infant Car Seat

    The list of non-negotiable baby essentials is pretty short, but it definitely includes a car seat. In fact, most hospitals will not allow you to leave after delivery until a car seat check is performed. We recommend an infant seat, which can easily snap into a base in your car.


    A traveling nursery station

    Baby Trend Lil Snooze Deluxe II Nursery Center

    It's hard to beat a good playard when it comes to longevity. This item can be baby's sleeping place when they're sharing a room with you for the first months. Down the line, it can function as a roving diaper change station. And when you travel, it makes a great safe space for your little one to sleep and play.


    A swing for some backup help

    4moms mamaRoo 4 Bluetooth Enabled High-Tech Baby Swing - Classic

    A dependable swing can be a real lifesaver for new parents when they need their hands free (or just a minute to themselves). Because many babies are opinionated about these things, we appreciate that the mamaRoo has multiple modes of motion and soothing sounds.


    An easy-to-clean high chair

    Ingenuity SmartClean Trio Elite 3-in-1 High Chair - Slate

    Our best registry advice? Think ahead. It really won't be long before your child is ready for those first bites of solid food, at which point you'll need a high chair. We like one that transitions to a booster seat atop an existing dining room chair.


    A diaper bag to share

    Eddie Bauer Backpack - Gray/Tan

    When you're a mom, you're usually toting diapers, wipes, clothing changes, bottles, snacks, toys and more. You need a great bag to stash it all, and if you're anything like us, you'll choose a backpack style for comfort and functionality. Bonus: This gender neutral option can easily be passed off to your partner.


    A hygienic spot for all those diaper changes

    Munchkin Secure Grip Waterproof Diaper Changing Pad 16X31"

    We can confidently predict there will be a lot of diaper changes in your future. Do yourself a favor by registering for two comfortable, wipeable changing pads: one to keep in the nursery and another to stash elsewhere in your house.


    A way to keep an eye on your baby at night

    Infant Optics Video Baby Monitor DXR-8

    Feeling peace of mind while your baby sleeps in another room truly is priceless.That's why we advocate for a quality video monitor that will allow you to keep tabs on your snoozing sweetheart.


    A comfortable carrier to free up your hands

    Petunia Pickle Bottom for Moby Wrap Baby Carrier, Strolling in Salvador

    A wrap carrier may be about as low-tech as baby items come, but trust us, this product stands the test of time. Great for use around the house or while running errands, this is one item you'll appreciate so much.


    A full set of bottles + cleaning supplies

    Dr. Brown's Options+ Complete Baby Bottle Gift Set

    Whether you plan to work in an office or stay at home, breastfeed or formula feed, bottles are a valuable tool. To make your life as simple as possible, it's nice to have an easy-to-clean set that is designed to work through the first year.


    Target's baby registry is easy to create from the comfort of your own home. Start your Target baby registry now and enjoy shopping with the Year of Benefits featuring exclusive deals available via Target Circle, two 15% off coupons, a year of hassle-free returns, a free welcome kit and more!

    This article was sponsored by Target. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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