Momming is rewarding, but it’s also hard and demanding. It requires me to prioritize and be present more than I ever imagined it would. My New Year’s resolution last year was to be present where I am at all times. (Much easier said than done, by the way.)
But the intent is, if I am being a mom that means my phone is away and work will have to wait—it’s family time.
If I’m at work, I’m hyper-focused on getting my job done and doing it well.
If I’m out with my friends or my husband, I am focused on being present for that, too—and want to fully enjoy the rare quality time we get together.
Being present has helped me feel more balanced in my life, and not like a hamster on a never-ending wheel. But in that pursuit of the proverbial “balance” I have found that it has forced me to assess all of the relationships in my life, including my friendships.
This uber-reflective time in my life called motherhood—toggling between being a mom of one and a mom of two—has brought me to the realization that I only have time for real, meaningful friendships in my life. And not in the way you would think.
What I’m not talking about are friends who I need to talk to every day.
Who are always accessible or who tell me how pretty I look. Who go to brunch every Sunday and for cocktails every Thursday night all dressed up in our cutest outfits. That’s not real life—at least not my real life.
These are the women that my son has given the distinguished title of “auntie.”
They support me, lift me up, tell me when I’m wrong. They are my sanity, my gut-check, my real in-the-flesh mama tribe. They are always a phone call or text away and I could not exist without them.
These are the women who would drop anything if I needed them.
But if we go weeks (or months) without seeing each other. We get it. We don’t judge. We understand and accept. We are all in the same boat—stay-at-home moms, working moms—we’re all just trying to keep all the plates spinning.
It doesn’t mean we value or need each other any less. It’s actually the exact opposite. I need them even more now to have a quick conversation about anything other than poopy diapers and bedtime routines. Or...sometimes about those exact things. (It depends on the day!)
These are the women I sometimes only communicate with via texting for weeks at a time.
But it doesn’t matter that these conversations are typically via text. The specific mode of communication doesn’t matter. These quick check-ins and small bites of encouragement mean the absolute world to me.
Sidebar: Thank you whoever invented texting—a mother’s dream mode of communication to connect with the outside world during those few rare minutes to myself, which are typically during a bathroom break.
These are the women who help me to be my best self.
The best wife I can be, the best mom I can be, and the best friend I can be to them, too. Most of them have known me since elementary school. Some I was lucky enough to meet later in life. They have seen it all and have been through it all with me. Love. Loss. Joy. Sorrow. Pride. Anxiety. You name it, they feel all the feels right alongside me.
There is no such thing as grudges—no one has time for that! These ladies are unwavering in their loyalty.
These are the women I have chosen as my family.
To these women—I value you, I need you, and I love you. Always.