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No matter how hard it is, I want you to know—I’m so lucky to be your mom

I write about how grueling motherhood can be. I complain to my sister about how overwhelmed I am. I cry to my husband when I’m feeling unsure of my abilities as a mom. I force myself to take “me time” here and there to recharge and come back to mom life fresh and focused.

And, truth be told, motherhood is hard. Insanely, monumentally, enormously hard.

But one thing I always want you to know, my dear children, is that no matter how hard it gets—I am always going to feel (beyond) lucky to be your mama.

In the frustrating times.

When you decide to go ahead and eat all the cookies when I turn my back.

When you grab your sister’s toy from her that I know you don’t even like anymore.

When you tell me I’m a mean mommy.

When you run around like a wild woman at bedtime because—nope(!)—going to sleep isn’t in the cards for you right now.

When you won’t get in your car seat and insist you’re “allowed” to sit in the front seat.

In the tiring times.

When you wake up at 3:00 a.m. for seemingly no reason at all.

When you won’t nap no matter what I do, even though I know you desperately need it.

When you want to run and play and do all the things, and I am physically exhausted from it all.

When you come into bed with us and proceed to kick and flail on me all night, consistently waking me up.

When you’ve needed to nurse at 11:00 p.m., 1 a.m., and 5 a.m. Oh! And that 3:30 a.m. session that you snuck in there, too.

In the exciting times.

When you took your first steps.

When you plopped down and clapped for yourself when you were done.

When you said “I love you” for the first time.

When you proclaim, You are THE BEST MOMMY IN THE WORLD!”

When you sing your ABC’s like a boss.

In the happy times.

When we sing happy birthday to you and you enthusiastically blow out the candles and announce your wish.

When you ask me to lie with you while you fall asleep.

When you take my hand and say, Come on, Mama…”

When you show kindness to your sister, or cousin or friend at a play date.

When I get ready for a night out and you see me for the first time and you say, Mom, I love your hair and your lipstick, and your eyes, and your dress, and your earrings, and your face.”

In the bittersweet times.

When you give me a quick kiss and a wave and zoom into school at drop off.

When you’re not feeling well, and only cuddles from mom can make you better.

When you start becoming more independent—putting your shoes on by yourself, brushing your teeth by yourself, getting dressed without any help.

When you fall and get hurt at the playground and look for me to come help, then you sink right into me when I pick you up because only mama can fix it.

When you sayMom” a lot more than “Mommy” or “Mama.”

In the future times to come.

When you graduate high school and head off to college.

When you fall in love for the first time.

When you find your true passion in life and are brave enough to go after it and live it out.

When you get married and I have the honorable title of “mother of the bride.”

When you become a mother yourself for the first time. And I get the joy of becoming a grandmother.

Or even if you don’t do any of that and choose another path—I will always feel lucky and always feel proud of you.

I am basking in the glory of getting to be your mom. I am cherishing these moments and I am loving you with my whole entire being.

My role as your mother is an honor and a privilege.

It is why I wake up in the morning.

It is why I smile so wide.

It is why I am so proud of this life we share.

It is why I can’t wait to squeeze you when you wake up.

It is why I work so hard.

It is why my heart is overflowing with love.

It is why I am who I am.

Thank you for choosing me to be ‘Mom’. I am the luckiest.

Colleen is a wife and mom to three awesome girls. She is the Motherly Stories Editor at Motherly. Follow her adventures on Instagram.

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