We both feel invisible in new parenthood—but I promise, I see you

I see a growing love for our daughter that is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed in our decade together.

couple in love

My darling,

Before we got married, we both worried it would change our relationship. We were right—it did.

It strengthened it.

We left the insecurities and back-up plans in the wind and fully committed to one another. It was scary and amazing all at once. Although our relationship was still spicy, it became a little more monotonous. We had to put an effort into sexy time and be conscious of each other's needs. We learned how to build a stronger partnership financially, emotionally and sexually.

Before we became parents we were both worried it would change our relationship. And again, we were right—it did.

It united us.

Even though we appeared to be "prepared" for parenthood on paper, we didn't know what hit us emotionally once our baby arrived. Our world was completely flipped upside down. We had no idea how much our bundle of joy would scream and poop and overall impact our lives in the way she did.

Transitioning together from couplehood to parenthood has hands down been one of the greatest, hardest, messiest and most amazing transitions of our relationship.

In all our years together, I know I have changed the most this past year—my first year of motherhood. I am still learning how to embrace and balance being a mother, a wife and an individual. I'm learning how to accept my body as both being functional and sexual all the while managing the wild ups and downs of my hormones. I am learning how to combine the radiant sexual energy I remember with the sophistication motherhood has gifted me. I am adapting, transitioning and changing.

You too, my love, have changed. You are adjusting to both of our new roles with each passing day.

I know a lot of the times the attention is placed on how a woman changes during motherhood, but please know I see the impact fatherhood has had on you.

I see you feeling neglected at times.

I see you missing the carefree sex life we had before.

I see you stressed out with the pressures of emotionally and financially caring for a tiny human.

I see you hurting when you see me hurting and can't fix it.

I see your fear. Wondering if you are a good enough father and husband.

I see the hurt in your eyes and your heart when I lash out at you on a really rough day.

I see the longing in your eyes at times for our old lives.

But you know what else I see?

I see a growing love for our daughter that is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed in our decade together.

I see your whole being light up when she smiles and calls you Da-Da.

I see you maturing, embracing the difficulties that life is throwing at us and taking them on one at a time.

I see you working as my partner—making up for things I may not be able to do because the baby needs to be fed or tended to.

I see you doing this without complaints, completely out of love.

And although there are times we argue over petty things that all new parents argue over (lack of sleep, sex and feelings of not being appreciated to name a few), I see us adapting and growing in real-time—for the sake of our daughter, but for the sake of our relationship, too.

I see you, my love—even if you feel invisible in these chaotic days of learning how to parent.

So, yes, our life has changed. Drastically. Yet, here we are.

Navigating it together.

Growing together.

Learning together.

More aware of each other's needs—as a couple, and as parents.

And nurturing a love that our hearts never understood was possible.

My darling, please know, I see you. I appreciate you. I love you.

[Editor's note: This story is a letter from a woman to her husband. While this is one example of one type of relationship, we understand, appreciate and celebrate that relationships come in all forms and configurations.]

In This Article

    Is the BabyBjörn portable travel crib worth it?

    100% unequivocally yes.

    I have this weird brown birthmark on the bottom of my right foot near my pinkie toe and my mother always said, "That means you'll never stay still. You'll travel everywhere." (She's full of interesting superstitions like that.) I'm not sure if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy or what but I've always had a love for travel, and before we had a child (in those glorious pre-pandemic times), my husband and I traveled all over Europe, did two road trips across different parts of the United States and even flew all the way around the world to visit my family in the Philippines.

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    Eh, wrong.

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    One of the biggest changes in my household once my daughter started homeschooling was that, suddenly, everything and everyone in our home had to start pulling double duty. While I was used to wearing a lot of hats (mom, wife and WFH employee, to name a few), suddenly our dining room was also pulling shifts as a classroom. My laptop was also a virtual teacher. Our living room hutch was also a school supply closet.

    If I didn't want my home to be overrun with an abundance of clutter, I had to find products that could multitask. Here are 10 products that are saving this WFH + homeschooling mama right now.

    Stylish storage cabinet

    Whether I need a place to keep the printer or just want to keep crayons and colored pencils organized, this pretty cabinet provides a mixture of exposed and hidden storage without clashing with my living room decor.

    White board calendar + bulletin board

    With so much on our plates these days, I need a visual reminder of our daily schedule or I'll forget everything. This dry erase version makes it easy to keep track of Zoom meetings and virtual classes—and I also love using the corkboard to display my daughter's latest work from art class.

    Natural Recycled 3-Ring Binder

    From tracking our curriculum progress to organizing my family's paperwork, I can never have enough binders. Even better, this neutral version is pretty enough that I can display them on the bookshelf.

    Bamboo storage drawers

    The instant you start homeschooling, it can feel like you're suddenly drowning in papers, craft supplies and more. Fortunately, these simple bamboo drawers can be tucked into the cabinet or even displayed on top (seriously, they're that cute!) to keep what we need organized and close at hand.

    Laminated world map

    I love this dry-erase map for our geography lessons, but the real secret? It also makes a cute piece of wall decor for my work space.

    Rolling 7-drawer cabinet

    When you're doing it all from home, you sometimes have to roll with the punches—I strongly recommend getting an organizational system that rolls with you. On days when both my husband and I are working from home and I need to move my daughter's classes to another room, this 7-drawer cabinet makes it easy to bring the classroom with us.


    From our first day of school photo to displaying favorite quotes to keep myself motivated, this 12"x18" letterboard is my favorite thing to display in our home.

    Expandable tablet stand

    Word to the wise: Get a pretty tablet stand you won't mind seeing out every day. (Because between virtual playdates, my daughter's screen time and my own personal use, this thing never gets put away.)

    Neutral pocket chart

    Between organizing my daughter's chore chart, displaying our weekly sight words and providing a fits-anywhere place to keep supplies on hand, this handy little pocket chart is a must-have for homeschooling families.

    Totable fabric bins

    My ultimate hack for getting my family to clean up after themselves? These fabric bins. I can use them to organize my desk, store my oldest's books and even keep a bin of toys on hand for the baby to play with while we do school. And when playtime is over, it's easy for everyone to simply put everything back in the bin and pop it in the cabinet.

    Looking for study solutions for older children? Hop over to Grown & Flown for their top picks for Back to School.

    Work + Money

    Mama, all I see is you

    A love letter from your baby.


    I can't see past you right now, I'm so small and everything's a little blurry.

    All I see is you.

    When you feel alone, like the walls are closing in, remember I'm here too. I know your world has changed and the days feel a little lonely. But they aren't lonely for me.

    You are my everything.

    When you feel like you don't know what you're doing, you're making it look easy to me. Even though we're still getting to know each other, you know me better than anyone.

    I trust you.

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