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Alexis Ohanian's emotional experience shines a light on why *all* dads deserve paid leave

History has recognized Reddit co-founder and venture capitalist Alexis Ohanian as a key player in the evolution of the internet and years from now it might recognize him as a key player in the evolution of paid parental leave in America. Since taking leave after the birth of his daughter, Olympia, Ohanian has been repeatedly telling the world that, of all the impressive things he's done in his life, taking the time to be with his newborn daughter and support his wife, Serena Williams, was one of the most important decisions he's ever made.

That's why Ohanian joined fellow fathers, with the support of Dove Men+Care and the non-profit Paid Leave US (PL+US), on Capitol Hill this month to press lawmakers for change. He wants all fathers to be able to do what he did and for paternity leave to be normalized in the American workplace. Ohanian met with Senators and Members of Congress and took time to speak with Motherly about why the fight for paid leave is so important.

Here are five reasons Alexis Ohanian is so obsessed with advancing paternity leave:

1. Mothers need not just time to heal, but support to do so 

Serena Williams' birth experience was traumatic and required a long recovery period. She was lucky to be alive after suffering a pulmonary embolism after her emergency C-section.

She was also lucky to have a partner who had the privilege of taking leave. "A lot of folks saw a glimpse into this through the HBO documentary. The reality was, after all the complications and a number of surgeries that my wife had including a C-section but then multiple others, there was very little she could do in those first few weeks just physically. And I had to help her with a lot of it," Ohanian tells Motherly.

Williams' birth experience was difficult, but the truth is that recovering from birth (especially a C-section) is generally difficult even under the best of circumstances. It takes time to recover. Mothers need help. And when a mom's partner has to head back to work just a couple of days after it takes a toll physically and mentally.

Research shows that when dads take paternity leave, moms are 14% less likely to be admitted to a hospital for birth-related issues within the first six months of childbirth.

Ohanian was there to change the diapers or pick up his daughter in the middle of the night, actions that helped his wife heal. "[These] were things that I was very willing to take on because it felt like the least I could do for a woman who had already sacrificed so much to just bring her into the world, to bring Olympia into the world," he explains.

2. Dads need time to bond with their babies 

When dads get to take parental leave they become more confident parents and are more likely to be equal participants in childcare years later. Ohanian has experienced this firsthand. He tells Motherly he went from having no experience with babies to having a crash course in caring for his daughter. Spending those early weeks with her taught him he was completely capable of overcoming parenting challenges.

"I was quickly learning how to thaw breast milk in the middle of the night, and feed my kid and change her diaper. I got really good at using the Snoo, the smart bed, to help her get back to sleep," he explains. "These are all just things that I was in no way qualified to do but was able to learn and that really gave me the confidence. Now, Olympia is a super active 2-year-old, and it gives me confidence anytime there's some new challenge or new thing. It gives me the confidence to know that I can handle it. And that's a true gift that came from having that paternity leave."

3. Paid parental leave impacts productivity (in a good way)

Ohanian tells Motherly making paid leave available to fathers (and encouraging them to actually take it) is an opportunity for businesses to get more value out of an employee. "When they are back in the office they are going to be more engaged because they're not as worried about the things going on at home with their newborn and their family. They're going to be more productive," he tells Motherly.

Surveys of businesses in states with paid leave laws suggest implementing paid leave has a positive impact on worker productivity and that employers notice workers who take parental leave are less stressed when they come back to work. "There's a growing body of work that just shows this is, from a business standpoint, this is a smart, smart decision," he explains.

4. Fathers want to be more involved than ever before

Ohanian says he is happy to see the men of his generation flipping the script on the bumbling dad trope and talking about how they are just as capable parents as mothers are. "It is like a lazy shtick that has been ingrained in such a big part of the popular culture. But the reality is social media has allowed us to push from the bottom up messages and examples of dads being competent dads," Ohanian says.

Olympia loves her mama, but she's growing up knowing that her dad, too, is fully capable of helping her with whatever she needs. "Admittedly Olympia at this age is basically Serena's shadow. She loves her mom, like adores her, which is great," he explains.

The Reddit co-founder loves to see examples of great fathers on Reddit and in his social media feeds. "That's normalizing behavior that we've never really seen from the top down," he explains.

5. Paid parental leave shouldn't be a privilege—but a right 

Ohanian has talked a lot about how lucky he was to be able to take paternity leave in the first place. "It helped that I was a founder and didn't have to worry about what people might say about my 'commitment' to the company," he previously wrote in an essay for Glamour.

He took 16 weeks of parental leave in a country where there is no national paid parental leave plan, but even in countries where parents do have access to paid leave, dads don't take all that they can. As Motherly previously reported, a report from Dove Men+Care and Promundo (a global organization dedicated to gender equality) found 85% of dads surveyed in the United States, the UK, Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Japan and the Netherlands would do anything to be very involved in the early weeks and months after their child's birth or adoption, but less than 50% of fathers take as much time as they are entitled to.

Ohanian wants all fathers in America to have access to paid leave, and wants all fathers who already have access to feel comfortable taking it. In his conversation with Motherly, Ohanian offered this advice to dads to want to take leave but are afraid how their bosses will react:

"Look, if they're one of the few American men who even have the opportunity, (less than one in five men in the US), you're already one of the lucky few. And so I would say, if you're that fortunate to even have the opportunity, absolutely take advantage of it. And if your boss tries to give you any sass, tell him that the guy who created Reddit and runs a half billion dollar early stage venture capital fund felt like he was—not just a worthy business leader—but was better because he took that time off."

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14 outdoor toys your kids will want to play with beyond summer

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$30

Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!

$75

Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

$120

Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

$30

Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$100

Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40

Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121

Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.

$100

Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.

$45

Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.

$179

Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.

$100

Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$33

Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$88

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Motherly editors’ 7 favorite hacks for organizing their diaper bags

Make frantically fishing around for a diaper a thing of the past!

As any parent knows, the term "diaper bag" only scratches the surface. In reality, this catchall holds so much more: a change of clothes, bottles, snacks, wipes and probably about a dozen more essential items.

Which makes finding the exact item you need, when you need it (read: A diaper when you're in public with a blowout on your hands) kind of tricky.

That's why organization is the name of the game when it comes to outings with your littles. We pooled the Motherly team of editors to learn some favorite hacks for organizing diaper bags. Here are our top tips.

1. Divide and conquer with small bags

Here's a tip we heard more than a few times: Use smaller storage bags to organize your stuff. Not only is this helpful for keeping related items together, but it can also help keep things from floating around in the expanse of the larger diaper bag. These bags don't have to be anything particularly fancy: an unused toiletry bag, pencil case or even plastic baggies will work.

2. Have an emergency changing kit

When you're dealing with a diaper blowout situation, it's not the time to go searching for a pack of wipes. Instead, assemble an emergency changing kit ahead of time by bundling a change of baby clothes, a fresh diaper, plenty of wipes and hand sanitizer in a bag you can quickly grab. We're partial to pop-top wipes that don't dry out or get dirty inside the diaper bag.

3. Simplify bottle prep

Organization isn't just being able to find what you need, but also having what you need. For formula-feeding on the go, keep an extra bottle with the formula you need measured out along with water to mix it up. You never know when your outing will take longer than expected—especially with a baby in the mix!

4. Get resealable snacks

When getting out with toddlers and older kids, snacks are the key to success. Still, it isn't fun to constantly dig crumbs out of the bottom of your diaper bag. Our editors love pouches with resealable caps and snacks that come in their own sealable containers. Travel-sized snacks like freeze-dried fruit crisps or meal-ready pouches can get an unfair reputation for being more expensive, but that isn't the case with the budget-friendly Comforts line.

5. Keep a carabiner on your keychain

You'll think a lot about what your child needs for an outing, but you can't forget this must-have: your keys. Add a carabiner to your keychain so you can hook them onto a loop inside your diaper bag. Trust us when we say it's a much better option than dumping out the bag's contents on your front step to find your house key!

6. Bundle your essentials

If your diaper bag doubles as your purse (and we bet it does) you're going to want easy access to your essentials, too. Dedicate a smaller storage bag of your diaper bag to items like your phone, wallet and lip balm. Then, when you're ready to transfer your items to a real purse, you don't have to look for them individually.

7. Keep wipes in an outer compartment

Baby wipes aren't just for diaper changes: They're also great for cleaning up messy faces, wiping off smudges, touching up your makeup and more. Since you'll be reaching for them time and time again, keep a container of sensitive baby wipes in an easily accessible outer compartment of your bag.

Another great tip? Shop the Comforts line on www.comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices. Or, follow @comfortsforbaby for more information!

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that supporting Motherly and mamas.

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Errands and showers are not self-care for moms

Thinking they are is what's burning moms out.

A friend and I bump into each other at Target nearly every time we go. We don't pre-plan this; we must just be on the same paper towel use cycle or something. Really, I think there was a stretch where I saw her at Target five times in a row.

We've turned it into a bit of a running joke. "Yeah," I say sarcastically, "We needed paper towels so you know, I had to come to Target… for two hours of alone time."

She'll laugh and reply, "Oh yes, we were out of… um… paper clips. So here I am, shopping without the kids. Heaven!"

Now don't get me wrong. I adore my trips to Target (and based on the fullness of my cart when I leave, I am pretty sure Target adores my trips there, too).

But my little running joke with my friend is actually a big problem. Because why is the absence of paper towels the thing that prompts me to get a break? And why on earth is buying paper towels considered a break for moms?

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