Busy Philipps confesses she's 'an all-over-the-place, doesn't-have-a-plan mom'

Like the rest of us, she's just trying to do the best she can.

Busy Philipps confesses she's 'an all-over-the-place, doesn't-have-a-plan mom'

If you follow her on Instagram you already know, Busy Philips doesn't pretend to know everything about parenting. Like the rest of us, she's just trying to do the best she can (although, unlike the rest of us, the actress is doing it in front of more than a million Instagram followers).

"I call myself the all-over-the-place, doesn't-have-a-plan mom. Is that a parenting philosophy? On a daily basis, I'm just trying to hold it together," Philipps tells Parents in the magazine's November cover story.

Mom to 10-year-old Birdie and 5-year-old Cricket, Philipps says she's essentially winging it when it comes to big parenting topics like sleep, sugar and screen time. She does what works for her family when it works for her family. "Our family has no absolute rules about screen time or sugar or anything. I mean, Marc and I were raised that way, and we turned out fine," shares Phillips.

Phillips may not have a plan when it comes to parenthood, but she does have a plan for adding more female voices to late-night TV, having just sold a show to E! (Busy Tonight premiers October 28.) Phillips says the network first offered her a one night a week show, but she pushed for more, pointing out that the men of late night do it all week long, and so can she.

Studies show that mothers are often underestimated, looked over, or pushed to slow down in the workplace, and Philipps isn't having it. "I'm just over it. Smash the patriarchy. Seriously. I'm done," she tells Parents, adding that while one night a week certainly would have been more manageable for her, it's not fair that a mother should get a quarter of the opportunity offered to male counterparts.

If Colbert, Kimmel, Fallon and Myers can manage to balance parenthood with shooting a late-night talk show, so can she. (After all, the only other woman with a late-night show right now, Samantha Bee, is also a mother, with three kids close in age to Philipps'.)

In her wide-ranging chat with Parents, Phillips says she is keen to take on the challenge of her own talk show, but admits that saying yes to (or rather, making the network say yes to) a full work week means she's had to say no in other areas. Although that little word is something a lot of women struggle to say, Phillips is finding power in it. She hopes other moms can also recognize when there is just no room for a yes to something.

"I'm an overextender. I agree to everything. But now, with my own TV show, I have to learn to say no," she tells Parents. "I was signing up to be Cricket's room mom at her elementary school because I knew it would make her happy, and then it occurred to me that that would be a truly insane thing to do. You can't volunteer for everything, and that's okay."

It is okay. We can only be in so many places at once, doing so many things. As moms, we can't always make everyone happy at all times. We can only do our best, and part of that is making sure we are happy (at least some of the time). Phillips says she's prioritizing her own happiness and mental health as much as anything else.

"I live to make sure everyone is happy, but I also make sure I'm taking care of my own mental health. I see a therapist. I work out almost every day because cardio knocks out my anxiety. It makes me happy when I spend time with friends and see bands, so I do that. Occasionally, I watch TV, but even that can feel overwhelming. I can't keep up with all the new shows. That's why I stick with Friends and Seinfeld reruns. They soothe me."

Perhaps her new show will be the soothing wind-down for other mamas at the end of a busy day. Late night TV is a hard game, but Philipps is coming to play.

You might also like:

Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Tenth & Pine: Gender-neutral and butter-soft basics for littles + bigs

In 2016, after a stage four endometriosis diagnosis and a 10 year battle with infertility, Tenth & Pine founder Kerynn got her miracle baby, Ezra Jade. As a SAHM with a Masters in Business, she wanted to create a brand that focused on premium quality, function, comfort, and simplicity.

She sought out premium, all natural fabrics and factories that shared her core values, practicing environmentally friendly manufacturing methods with fair and safe working conditions for employees. As a result, her made in the USA, gender-neutral designs check all the boxes. The sustainable, organic basics are perfect for everyday wear, family photos and any adventure in between.

Lucy Lue Organics: Sustainably and ethically-produced modern baby clothes

This family-owned and operated business was started by a mama who wanted out of corporate America after the birth of her son. Thoughtfully designed to mix-and-match, Lucy Lue's sustainably and ethically produced collection of modern organic baby clothes only uses fabrics that are "environmentally friendly from seed to seam." Their gorgeous, earthy tones and comfy, minimalist styles make the perfect addition to first wardrobes from birth through the first years.

Sontakey: Simple bracelets that speak your mind

Sontakey has been such a hit in the Motherly Shop that we knew it was time to expand the line. And since these beautiful mantra bands look so stunning stacked, more options = more fun.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

Keep reading Show less

It’s science: Vacations make your kids happy long after they’re over

Whether you're planning a quick trip to the lake or flying the fam to a resort, the results are the same: A happier, more connected family.

Whether you're looking for hotels or a rental home for a safe family getaway, or just punching in your credit card number to reserve a spot in a campground a couple of states over, the cost of vacation plans can make a mom wince. And while price is definitely something to consider when planning a family vacation, science suggests we should consider these trips—and their benefits—priceless.

Research indicates that family vacations are essential. They make our, kids (and us) happier and build bonds and memories.

Keep reading Show less
Chrissy Teigen/Instagram

When Chrissy Teigen announced her third pregnancy earlier this year we were so happy for her and now our hearts are with her as she is going through a pain that is unimaginable for many, but one that so many other mothers know.

Halfway through a high-risk pregnancy complicated by placenta issues, Teigen announced late Wednesday that she has suffered a pregnancy loss.

Our deepest condolences go out to Chrissy and her husband, John Legend (who has been by her side in the hospital for several days now).

In a social media post, Teigen explained she named this baby Jack.


"We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we've never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn't enough," she wrote.

She continued: "We never decide on our babies' names until the last possible moment after they're born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever."

Keep reading Show less