It takes about nine months to grow a baby. Yet many of us moms are made to feel like our bodies should snap right back into place before the newborn photos are even done. In reality, most of us are met with new figures—some parts of which revert back to the familiar in time while other parts are forever transformed.

It’s a beautiful, amazing thing when you consider the miracle of growing a new person. It can just feel difficult to remember that every time you catch a glimpse in the mirror.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. Just ask new mom-of-three Daphne Oz.

“Seven weeks post partum [sic], still looking three months pregnant,” the former co-host of The Chew says in a new Instagram post. “There is no bounce-back, it’s all onwards and upwards.

A post shared by D A P H N E O Z (@daphneoz) on

Oz, who welcomed baby girl Domenica Celine in early December, adds “Every day has moments of total splendor and also a decent number of WTFs.”

As she notes, this is especially important for first-time moms to hear:

“We see so much of how glossy motherhood can be and not enough of how real 3D life is always complicated (and better for it). Your experience will be just right for you. prepare to be amazed by some things and horrified by others. Motherhood is as complex and wonderful as the woman.”

It’s so true: We are often quick to give grace to other people in our lives, but not ourselves. In reality, the wonderful thing about motherhood is that it is unique to each one of us in every way from how our bodies respond to how we parent our children.

We’re all better for it when we toss expectations about how we should look, feel or act—and instead embrace the experience of motherhood as it is for us as individuals.