If you were judging simply by her boho style or her fun, family-oriented Instagram, you might assume that Kate Hudson was a completely laid-back type of mom. But the actress says she’s actually way more strict with her kids than most people would ever guess when it comes to one important thing.

Speaking to People, Hudson said that her kids know that when she’s made up her mind about something, she won’t budge.

“Where I am strict is that there are certain rules that I put down. I don’t negotiate with my kids about certain things,” she explained. “And what I realized about that is that when you set that standard in your home, you don’t end up in long-winded negotiations. When I say no, it’s done.”

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Hudson has three children: 16-year-old Ryder, 9-year-old Bing, and 2-year-old Rani Rose. The celebrity mom says she works hard to make sure all three know what the boundaries are at home. “That’s, I think, an important part of their development. How far they can push something,” she said. “And how you as a parent handle it is a huge part of growing up.”

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But that doesn’t mean Hudson is strict all the time, of course. “I give my children a lot of space to make mistakes,” she explains, and says she makes sure they know they can always come to her about their emotions. It’s a fine balance that seems to be working for Hudson and her family, but the actress knows it may not work for others—and that’s totally OK.

According to psychotherapist Georgia Manning, being strict on no meaning no can make sense.

“Children always push for boundaries, they are pushing for those ‘nos’ and it’s our job to give it to them’,” Manning previously explained.

For Hudson, having the final say (and no negotiations) doesn’t mean her kids don’t have the freedom and autonomy to make age-appropriate choices, but it does mean that her kids can trust that she’s consistent. Her strictness isn’t about being punitive or restrictive, it’s about giving her kids freedom while also being their rock.

“We all need to have an open mind and feel good about what we’re doing and let other people live the way they want to live,” she said, adding that parenting needs to be judgment-free. And whether you’re a strict parent, a lenient one, or somewhere in between, that’s something we can all agree on.