When a 5-year-old goes to bed hungry, whose fault is it? That’s what one grandma is asking Reddit’s infamously messy “AITA” forum.

In her post, the grandma explains that her daughter is having financial trouble, so she moved in with her four kids who range in age from five to nine years old. 

“I’m vegetarian so I don’t cook meat in the house, but her youngest is picky and usually doesn’t like my food. My daughter cooks a few meals a week, and she’ll usually make something for the kids if I’m making something they won’t like,” Grandma wrote.

“Last weekend my daughter said she was going out with her friends and I assumed she would be home by dinner, because she didn’t say anything specifically to me about doing anything for the kids. She wasn’t back by 9 and the kids were hungry, so I called her but she didn’t pick up. Phone probably dead. I’d just made rice and steamed veggies for myself because I wasn’t too hungry or in the mood to cook properly. I offered some for the children and the two older ones ate, the 5-year-old was upset though and asked if I could make chicken nuggets for him. We did have chicken and breadcrumbs and I know how they’re made, but I didn’t feel good about cooking meat so I told him he can wait until his mom comes home. He got upset and threw the plate of food down and it broke. I picked up the ceramic pieces but had him help clean the rice, he was upset about that too. My daughter wasn’t back until 11 and the kid went to sleep after a little while.”

Grandma continued, “My daughter was really upset that I let him sleep hungry, and I said it was one evening and he’s not starving. She said I could just get over myself and make the damn chicken. Then I told her he broke a plate and she got even angrier that I asked him clean like a ‘maid’ when he’s a little kid. I think she coddles him and I told her so, what do you think?”

Wow, there is a lot to unpack here. But let’s let the commenters do that.

“ESH, Everyone Sucks Here,” the top commenter wrote. “Your daughter is out partying, and you let kids as young as 5 stay up until 9pm wondering if they’ll get dinner? Wtf. And where was her husband for all this?”

Another commenter added, “It sounds like no one wants to be in charge of the children. A hungry 5-year-old at 9pm is going to be HANGRY. They should have been fed earlier. Everyone involved knows it but it sounds like no one wants to be responsible and everyone wants to be pissy about it. OP, you’re an adult and they needed to eat. Come on.”

To that, someone responded, “Not grandmas job to feed her daughters herd. She had food made. He didn’t want it. That’s ok. He won’t die.  And lots of 5 year olds are up at 9.”

But another commenter pointed out, “Doesn’t matter whose job it is. The kid shouldn’t just not be fed because it’s someone else’s job. It’s called being a decent human.”

Another highly rated comment disagreed that the grandma was in the wrong.

“NTA (Not The A**hole),” the wrote. “She didn’t let you know when she would be home, didn’t leave food for them, and didn’t pick up the phone when you called. She is mad that you didn’t cook for them? Where is their father? A PBJ is a fine dinner and if she wanted him to have something different, she should have prepared food for them.”

They continued, “I would start a count down clock for them to get out of your house. She is entitled, rude, and needs to understand what a privilege it is to have a home to live in for free.”

Harsh words, but maybe the wakeup call this mom needs. Do you agree?