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Kim Kardashian on Kanye West: 'I think so many husbands feel neglected when you start having kids'

Sometimes one parent does get a little jealous of the kids.

Kim Kardashian on Kanye West: 'I think so many husbands feel neglected when you start having kids'


When we fall in love, we focus a lot of attention on our partner. But when we decide to double down on our love by making a family with that partner, the catch is we have less time for them.

It's not uncommon for a parent to start feeling neglected or even jealous after the baby comes along. That scenario played out in the latest episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Sunday's episode showed a lot of fighting between Kim Kardashian and her husband Kanye West, who at one point suggested Kim is more attentive to the kids than she is to him.

"I think so many husbands feel neglected when you start having kids and then all of their attention gets taken away," Kim said in the episode.

Kanye is hardly the only co-parent to feel a little jealous of the little ones. As pediatrician Dr. Michael Dickinson previously wrote for the Globe and Mail, these kinds of feelings often come up when there's a newborn (like Kim and Kanye's daughter Chicago) in the mix.

"There may not be much physical, psychological or emotional energy left at the end of the day for romance and marriage enrichment," Dickinson wrote. "One of the best ways for fathers to overcome jealousy is to become more involved in the care of their baby."

Kanye is a pretty hands-on dad, but he may want to follow Dickinson's advice and spend more time caring for the kids. Kim is taking her sister Khloe's advice, and carving out some time just for her and Kanye.

"I make such a priority for all the kids, and I go above and beyond for them, but in that, I'm fully neglecting my husband," she said in the episode. "So I just want to give Kanye the attention and love that he needs. … When you have so many kids, it's important to still make your relationship a top priority."

She's right about that, and prioritizing her marriage won't just be good for Kim and Kanye, but Chicago, North and Saint, too, experts suggest.

David Code, author of To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First, says "parents today are too quick to sacrifice our lives and our marriages for our kids. Most of us have created child-centred families, where our children hold priority over our time, energy and attention," the Guardian reports.

Mom and dad end up exhausted, and the kids end up entitled, says Code.

"We often believe we just don't have time for our spouse. But when two parents drift apart, often one parent will drift closer to the kids," he explains. "We parents convince ourselves that putting our children first is child-friendly, but we make two main mistakes by doing so."

The first mistake, says Code, is that by drifting away from each other we make it easier for our kids to play us against each other to get their way, because the parents aren't a united front. The second mistake also happens by accident: Parents can inadvertently start depending on their children for their own emotional needs, which puts a lot of pressure on the children.

When we set aside time for our partners, we can avoid putting extra pressure on our kids, and minimize resentment in the marriage. And this isn't just about whether or not we're having sex after having a baby, it's about making room for date nights, for romantic notes instead of emailed grocery lists, and most of all, for each other.

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This is how we’re defining success this school year

Hint: It's not related to grades.

In the ever-moving lives of parents and children, opportunities to slow down and reflect on priorities can be hard to come by. But a new school year scheduled to begin in the midst of a global pandemic offers the chance to reflect on how we should all think about measures of success. For both parents and kids, that may mean putting a fresh emphasis on optimism, creativity and curiosity.

Throughout recent decades, "school success" became entangled with "academic achievement," with cases of anxiety among school children dramatically increasing in the past few generations. Then, almost overnight, the American school system was turned on its head in the spring of 2020. As we look ahead to a new school year that will look like no year past, more is being asked of teachers, students and parents, such as acclimating to distance learning, collaborating with peers from afar and aiming to maintain consistency with schooling amidst general instability due to COVID.

Despite the inherent challenges, there is also an overdue opportunity to redefine success during the school year by finding fresh ways to keep students and their parents involved in the learning process.

"I always encourage my son to try at least one difficult thing every school year," says Arushi Garg, parenting blogger and mom of a 4-year-old. "This challenges him but also allows me to remind him to be optimistic! Lots of things in life are hard, and it's important we learn to be positive during difficult times. Fostering a sense of optimism allows kids to push beyond what they thought possible, like biking without training wheels or reading above their grade level."

Here are a few mantras to keep in mind this school year:

Quality learning matters more than quantifying learning

After focusing on standardized measures of academic success for so long, the learning environment this next school year may involve more independent, remote learning. Some parents are considering this an exciting opportunity for their children to assume a bigger role in what they are learning—and parents are also getting on board by supporting their children's education with engaging, positive learning materials like Highlights Magazine.

As a working mom, Garg also appreciates that Highlights Magazine can help engage her son while she's also working. She says, "He sits next to me and solves puzzles in the magazine or practices his writing from the workbook."

Keep an open mind as "school" looks different

Whether children are of preschool age or in the midst of high school, "going to school" is bound to look different this year. Naturally, this may require some adjustment as kids become accustomed to new guidelines. Although many parents may wish to shelter our kids from challenges, others believe optimism can be fostered through adversity when everyone is committed to adapting to new experiences.

"Honestly, I am yet to figure out when I will be comfortable sending [my son] back [to school]," says Garg. In the meantime, she's helping her son remain connected with friends who also read Highlights Magazine by encouraging the kids to talk about what they are learning on video calls.

Follow children's cues about what interests them

For Garg, her biggest hope for this school year is that her son will create "success" for himself by embracing new learning possibilities with positivity.

"Encouraging my son to try new things has given him a chance to prove that he can do anything," she says. "He takes his previous success as an example now and feels he can fail multiple times before he succeeds."

There's no denying that this school year will be far from the norm. But, perhaps, we can create a new, better way of defining our children's success in school because of it.

This article was sponsored by Highlights. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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5 brilliant products that encourage toddler independence

Help your little one help themselves.

One of our main goals as mothers is to encourage our children to learn, grow and play. They start out as our tiny, adorable babies who need us for everything, and somehow, before you know it, they grow into toddlers with ideas and opinions and desires of their own.

You may be hearing a lot more of "I do it!" or maybe they're pushing your hand away as a signal to let you know, I don't need your help, Mama. That's okay. They're just telling you they're ready for more independence. They want to be in charge of their bodies, and any little bit of control their lives and abilities allow.

So, instead of challenging your toddler's desire for autonomy, we found five of our favorite products to help encourage independence—and eliminate frustration in the process.

EKOBO Bamboo 4-piece kid set

EKOBO bamboo 4-piece kid set

This colorful set includes a plate, cup, bowl and spoon and is just right for your child's meal experience. Keep them in an easy-to-reach cabinet so they'll feel encouraged (and excited!) to get their own place setting each time they eat.

$25

Puj PhillUp hangable kids cups

Puj PhillUp hangable kids cups

Before you know it, your little one will be asking (okay, maybe demanding) to fill their own water cups. This amazing 4-pack of cups attaches directly to the fridge (or any glass, metal, tile or fiberglass surface) making it easier for your child to grab a cup themselves. Just be sure a water pitcher or dispenser is nearby, and—boom!—one task off your plate.

$29

Wise Elk puzzle tower blocks

Wise Elk puzzle tower blocks

These beautiful blocks, made from sustainably-sourced wood and water-based, non-toxic, lead-free paint, will keep your little one focused on their creation while they're also busy working on their fine-motor skills. The puzzle design will encourage patience as your kiddo creates their own building, fitting one block in after the next.

$18

Lorena Canals basket

Lorena Canals Basket

This *gorgeous* braided cotton basket is the perfect, accessible home for their blocks (and whatever else you want to hide away!) so your kiddo can grab them (and clean them up) whenever their heart desires.

$29

BABYBJÖRN step stool

BABYBJ\u00d6RN Step Stool

Your kiddo might be ready to take on the world, but they might need an extra boost to do so—cue, a step stool! An easy-to-move lightweight stool is the must-have confidence-boosting tool you need in your home so your growing tot can reach, well... the world.

$20

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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21 questions to ask your partner instead of, “How was your day?”

2. If you could do any part of today over again, what would it be?

After a long day of doing seemingly everything, when our partners get home it kind of becomes a habit to ask, "How was your day?" In between prepping dinner, handing off the kids, finishing your own work, we don't exactly get much value from this question. Sure, it may open up the opportunity to complain about that awful thing that happened or excitedly share that presentation you killed at work—but it usually stops there.

I could do a better job of really talking in my relationship. After 12 years and two kids, sometimes all we can come up with post bedtime routine is, "You good? I'm good. Fire up the Netflix."

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