Recap: Motherly’s IG live on racism + motherhood in America

Two mothers discussed their feelings, lessons on what they learned (and unlearned) about race in America and how racial injustice can no longer prevail for our next generation.

Recap: Motherly’s IG live on racism + motherhood in America

Whether we like it or not, systemic racism in America is real. It has been ingrained in our country for decades upon decades often leaving black families at the short end of the stick. Black America has reached a breaking point and it's time for us as a nation to step in and be the voice of change.

On June 2, Motherly took a stance and participated in #BlackOutTuesday, a movement devoted to observe, mourn and bring about change in racism in America. We also held an important conversation on our Instagram stories with a white mama and a black mama.

Deena Campbell, Senior Lifestyle Editor and black mother to two children, and Diana Spalding, Digital Education Editor and white mother to three children had an honest conversation about motherhood and racism. They discussed their feelings, lessons on what they learned (and unlearned) about race in America and how racial injustice can no longer prevail for our next generation.

Here's a recap and some resources if you're not sure where to get started. You can watch the full video at the end. Also, continue to step up not only in solidarity, but for justice.

Here's a breakdown of our mom-to-mom discussion about racism:

On white privilege:

Deena: White moms should use their white privilege to change the mindset of non-black people. If you see injustice, speak up and do something about.

Diana: Racism is all around us, and we need to acknowledge all of the ways that privilege has allowed us to ignore it. We can choose whether or not today is a day we feel like we can think about racism, while the black community must deal with not only thinking about it, but living it, and all of its consequences, every single day.

On teaching kids about racism:

Deena: Educate yourself. Use resources (see a few below) and talk about racist behaviors when your children are young. Be sure to celebrate differences and teach the importance of listening to black people explain their perspectives. Above all, model the behaviors you want your children to have. Your children will follow the behaviors you display.

Diana: As I teach my children about racism, the message is not "race doesn't exist" or "I don't see color." That messaging ignores reality and is unhelpful. Instead, we should convey that we do see race, and we respect and honor it.

Deena: Black moms shouldn't be afraid to teach their children about how society views them. Arm them with the knowledge they need to navigate this country.

Diana: One way that I am trying to teach my white children about racism is through teaching empathy. When we explained what is happening in our country right now, we asked our kids to talk about how they would feel if someone was mean to them because of the color of their skin.

On feeling sad for the black community:

Deena: I don't want you to feel bad or sorry for black people. I'm proud to be black. I love our music, food, art and overall culture. Use your frustration to motivate you to speak up against injustice.

On listening:

Diana: One of my responsibilities as a white woman is to make sure that I am listening, and not centering myself in conversations about racism. This is bound to make white people feel uncomfortable, but our discomfort is not what we are discussing.

Diana: My role as a white person is to be quiet, and to be loud. Quietness involves listening—truly listening—to the black community who has been doing this work for so, so long. And being loud is about standing up to injustice and racism when I see it. Silence is incredibly dangerous.

On being an ally:

Deena: The goals is to not only be non-racist, but to actively be anti-racist, and teach your children to speak up against injustice.

Diana: We never arrive at being an ally. The work is never done. This is about making a commitment to doing this work every day, forever.

On Black Lives Matter versus "all lives matter"

Deena: Saying Black Lives Matter doesn't take away the importance from other lives. It's akin to a house burning. The fire department doesn't attempt to put out flames in the entire neighborhood, they just focus on the house in flames. In a similar manner, the black community needs everyone to step up and fight against injustice.

The one thing your family needs to practice gratitude

And a tradition you'll want to keep for years.

Gracious Gobbler

I think I can speak for well, basically everyone on planet earth when I say things have been a bit stressful lately. Juggling virtual school, work and the weight of worry about all the things, it's increasingly difficult to take even a moment to be grateful and positive these days. It's far easier to fall into a grump cycle, nagging my kids for all the things they didn't do (after being asked nine times), snapping at their bickering and never really acknowledging the good stuff.

But the truth is, gratitude and appreciation is the kind of medicine we need now more than ever—and not just because the season is upon us. For one thing, practicing gratitude is a scientifically proven way to boost our happiness, health and relationships. More importantly, we need to ensure we're cultivating it in our children even when things are challenging. Especially when things are challenging.

I'm ready to crank the thankfulness up a few dozen notches and reboot our family's gratitude game so we can usher out 2020 on a fresh note. So, I've called in some reinforcements.

Enter: the Gracious Gobbler.

Keep reading Show less

14 toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With fall in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in outside-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.


Detective set

Plan Toys detective set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.


Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.


Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.


Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.


Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.


Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.


Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.


Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.


Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.


Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.


Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.


Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!


Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.


We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


The important safety tip parents need to know about sleep + car seats

Why you might want to plan for more pit stops on your next road trip.

When we become parents we don't just have to learn how to take care of a baby, we also have to learn how, when and why to use all the different kinds of baby gear.

Keep reading Show less