This YouTube star has welcomed her rainbow baby

It's been less than a year since her son's death.

This YouTube star has welcomed her rainbow baby
Brittani Boren Leach/Instagram

[Trigger warning: This story involves an infant death.]

In the space of less than a year, YouTuber Brittani Boren Leach has experienced both devastating heartbreak and indescribable joy.

In December of 2019, when her son Crew died at just 3-months-old, Leach experienced the incredible devastation of losing a child. But in the wake of that immeasurable loss came a new blessing: just 10 months after Crew's passing, Leach welcomed a new baby boy last week.

The social media star has shared all of the joy and pain of those two events with her followers, beginning with the agony of Crew's passing. On Christmas Day in 2019, Leach put the 3-month-old Crew down for a nap. But when she checked on him next, he wasn't breathing.


Leach was open about the sorrow, anger, confusion, and emptiness she felt after Crew's death. "Sometimes I'm doing "ok", and in the very next moment I'm having a flashback to holding his lifeless body in my arms, screaming "NO GOD, NOT MY BABY!" she wrote a few weeks later.

Months later, when she announced she was expecting again, Leach explained that having a new baby wouldn't change how desperately she grieves for Crew.

"It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm," Leach wrote. "When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened, or that we are not dealing with it's aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of darkness and clouds."


Leach was open about the sorrow, anger, confusion, and emptiness she felt after Crew's death. "Sometimes I'm doing "ok", and in the very next moment I'm having a flashback to holding his lifeless body in my arms, screaming "NO GOD, NOT MY BABY!" she wrote a few weeks later.

But just a couple of months after that, a new ray of happiness was shining for Leach. In May of this year, the family announced they were expecting a rainbow baby—a birth that follows a miscarriage or infant loss.

"Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope." she wrote. "Sent straight from Heaven and without a doubt, hand-picked by big brother Crew himself, estimated to arrive on December 1, 2020."

Leach let her followers know when she went into labor last week, sharing a shot of herself fittingly wrapped in a rainbow quilt. The next day, she introduced the world to Cole Dean Leach—a blessing she believes was sent by his late big brother. "When they placed him in my arms it was a feeling I could never describe. Big brother Crew sure outdid himself, and no doubt is smiling ear to ear in Heaven."

While no child who's been taken far too soon can ever be replaced, Cole is sure to be a healing presence for the family. Leach says she's now "learning how to allow grief and joy to coexist," and there's clearly no better teacher than a rainbow baby.

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