Before becoming a mom, I had a list of expectations of the kind of mother I’d be, and an even bigger list of things I said I would never do when I became a mother.
Never say never.
Ha! After becoming a mom I realized there were expectations I just needed to let go for a better, happier me. I got hit with a big dose of reality—and humility—along the way.
Here are all the ‘I would nevers’ I broke + why I broke them.
I will never ‘let myself go.’
The truth is that I really believe I haven’t “let myself go”… entirely.
Though I did spend most of my daughter’s first five months in a robe, sweatpants and the classic mom bun.
Before I had a baby, I swore I would keep the same beauty and fashion standards because (I thought): How hard is it to dress up when you have a baby?
Well, when I wasn’t feeding, changing diapers, soothing, carrying, bouncing, bathing or trying to “tidy up” I was passed out on the couch trying to catch up on the sleep I wasn’t having at night.
Eventually I learned to time manage and at least feel great about how I look when I’m going out—most of the time.
I will never talk about poop.
The truth is that we, as moms, are changing diapers several times a day, everyday. So poop becomes a normal and common topic of conversation. Believe it or not, your bowel movements (yes, my childless self is screaming inside of me horrified that I just wrote those words down in public) say a lot about your health, and therefore a lot about your kids’ health.
So be aware, my childless friends, and cover your ears when possible.
I will not show photos of my baby to everyone.
I have to be honest.
My baby is cute.
And I’m her mom.
So if you ask me about my baby, be prepared to be bombarded with photos of her cuteness and her latest accomplishments.
I thought I wouldn’t be the “come coo over my baby” mom.
But I am a really proud mom, and always will be.
I will never take my baby to a nice restaurant.
Well, the truth is, I get hungry. I can’t drop my baby off with anyone—at all times. And most of all, sometimes I feel like having a nice dinner. So stare all you want because this lady is here to have a much needed day off from cooking.
So that’s that.
I will never carry a diaper bag.
I used to think diaper bags were so bulky and ugly and unnecessary. That was until I found out I desperately needed one.
And then I ate my words.
But I did get one of the best pieces of advice that freed me from the diaper bag fear. “The diaper bag is for your baby,” my friend told me. “You hide it under the stroller. You can still carry a nice purse for yourself.” This piece of advice was gold for me.
I’ve still got my favorite bag along for the ride.
I will never make my child perform in public.
Yes, I always used to hate it when parents would tell their children to do ______ in front of people.
Because (I thought at the time), children would never repeat what they did in their safe environment in front of people they don’t know.
Well, that was until I had my own child and she would do the cutest things at home, and there I was, making a fool of myself trying to get her to wave or blow kisses to people she didn’t know—as my child looked at me with a blank, unimpressed face.
I’ve learned as a new parent that we don’t know what it’s like until you’ve become a parent yourself, and you just gotta pick your battle for sanity’s sake.
Becoming a mother has changed me, and that’s just fine by me.