If you knew me before I had my baby, you would know just how much I loved sleep.

Sleep, sleep, sleep.

I was that friend in college who would get all ready to go out…Then get too tired waiting for everyone else to be ready and would pass out on the futon, donning full makeup and a miniskirt. (At least I looked good sleeping there!)

Now that my daughter is here, sleep is a distant memory. It’s amazing how much sleep moms do not get. What’s even more amazing is how we’re able to walk around and, well, it’s actually amazing we’re able to just walk around.

Have you tried to “adult” on three hours combined sleep for weeks or months straight? The whole “10 minutes here, 30 minutes there” kind of sleep does not work. We’re not prey animals.

Studies on sleep even show that the total amount of sleep doesn’t matter as much as the quality and length of uninterrupted sleep. I have science on my side.

Cover Girl must love new moms. I think they need an ad campaign featuring a new mama with dark circles. “Our new ‘look-like-a-normal-human-being eye concealer!'” They would be sold out in hours.

As I write this, I am sitting here at 1:30 am, rubbing my baby’s tummy, trying to get her back to sleep.

I think she’s in a sleep regression. It feels as if we have been in a constant “regression” since 3-months-old.

Maybe all these“regressions” are just babies realizing they have more power than their parents do and it’s their way of showing dominance over us.

I’m telling you, it’s working.

How does the smallest member of a household gain the most power? The newest member of the pack becomes the leader. There’s no compromising, just one-sided demands that must be met (or else)…

Right now, I’m looking at my pillow laying there taunting me. Its cool, soft case ready to accept my tired, little head.

Gone are the days of falling asleep when I felt tired, looking like an Abercrombie model. These days I wear minimal makeup (and sweats to sleep)…and that’s only when someone else tells me it’s okay to sleep (yes little one, I’m talking about you.)

How nice five straight hours of sleep would be. Heck, I get excited when I get three.

Truth be told, once you’re a mother, nature plays a dirty little trick and never lets you sleep soundly again, anyway. I’m not blaming baby for this—it is our own body doing it to us.

Even if we get a few hours of straight sleep, we’re still really only half-sleeping. Always keeping one eye or ear on alert in case a lion is nearby.

In this case, I suppose we are like prey animals. I think we instantly evolve to be like them and only let half of our brain sleep at any given time. Uni hemispheric slow-wave sleep. Look it up during your next middle of the night need-to-stay-awake-so-I’ll-play-on-my-phone reading. Wow, birds may be able to half-brain sleep mid-flight?

I think this lack of sleep has now affected my attention span. Oh sweet sleep, I long for you.

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But, then I look back at my little one’s face and I can’t help but kiss those adorable chubby cheeks.

Oh no, did that just wake her?! No? Ok, phew.

Alas, my love for sleep has now been replaced with deep love for my baby. I would do anything for her—including forgoing my beloved sleep. She is my baby and I love her more than life itself. I thank God everyday for her and for her health.

If having my sweet, sweet baby means saying goodbye to sleep for now, I will gladly surrender it.

So here’s to you,sleep. Our love affair had a good 30 year run. Maybe we’ll catch up sometimeover drinks.